32 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of March 18, 2024

He’s built different
32 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of March 18, 2024

Another wild week is in the books with headlines that sound straight out of a sitcom. For starters, Tracy Morgan told Jimmy Fallon that he “learned how to out-eat” Ozempic and gained 40 pounds while on the controversial drug — something very Tracy Jordan-esque of him. John Cleese staged a Monty Python reunion with the deceased Graham Chapman thanks to a psychic. And Kevin Bacon is going to back to school. 

On that last count, the Footloose actor took to the TODAY Show to announce that he’ll be bringing the moves to this year’s prom at Payson High School, the Utah school where the 1984 classic was filmed. In some sort of cosmic fate, the announcement coincides with the film’s 40th anniversary and the fact that this will be the last prom in the gym made famous by the movie, as the school is relocating at the end of the academic year. 

In between all of those headlines, hysterical tweets have been dancing up and down the timeline. This week’s funniest ones included those about the best part of smoking weed, an embarrassing moment at the dentist and a Babybel wax project.

Dopey The Dumbfuck @pete_i... . 15h ... getting in a minor argument with my roommate and i immediately . go on twitter and post if i i i die its not suicide 6 137 1,552 30.2K
rob @rob_mcrobberson 13h ... one of my engineers gave me feedback that he doesnt like when I resched our 1:1 the day of, w/o 24 hr notice, because thats the day he showers and puts clean clothes on if i reschedule w/o enough notice he'll have to do it all over again another day i fucking love that guy 55 456 16.5K 952K
Cloudy (estrogen angel) 19h ... remembering the time i told my dentist thought he sounded like Ryan Reynolds and he immediately responded thanks! i'll tell my boyfriend you think so :) i got so embarrassed i had to stop seeing him and ended up getting several cavities because of it 49 620 43K 2.5M
Matthew Minicucci @MattMi... 20h ... For sale. Never worn. BABY CHOUX $5.50 3.4oz/95g 280 Cal. ents: Baby choux shell(liquid egg, water, butter, wheat flour, powder, sea salt), Vanilla custard whipped cream S: Tree Nut(co nut), Soy, Egg, ilk, and Wheat 249K 800 8,045 27
Crawford M Horton @broiled... 20h ... I can tell how someone is + feeling just by making it up in my head and 46.7K believing it ... 100 2,160 22 6,760 76.9K 1.4M
redacted @aquariusdays . 18h НЕ SAID YES (i asked if he was mad at me) 10 3,288 33.9K del 1M
thot catalog @trekpup . 1d ... really enjoyed spending time wit you Read 0 + iMessage 41 612 16.8K del 619K
Noah @NCassiel 14h Me. I Am Emily... The Elusiv.... 1d u can be a straight guy diva. it's rare yes but they're real. 112 12K 146K 3.4M
jojo @helllojojo 15h ... me when a random monthly subscription that i forgot about charges me but i was gonna use that money to buy myself a sweet little treat 75 10.5K 74.1K 1.3M
out of context dogs @con... .1d ... 222 5,010 58K 2.2M
out of context dogs @con... 1h ... Somebody found this Corgi puppy laid out in a shop surrounded by claret. They thought he'd been attacked and was hurt and bleeding... It turns out he'd eaten and entire jar of Jam and passed out on the floor in a sugar crash... RA 1HI YEEN 20 242 2,519 93.1K
Katie @KayTeeeOh.21h Opening Hinge: ACTION 6abcactionnews ... NEWSe Charleston AccuWeather ALERT RED FLAG WARNING ... abc UNTIL 7 PM Mount Pocono New York Allentown Harrisburg Reading Trenton Lancaster Toms River Philadelphia Wilmington Manahawkin Williamstown Middletown Millville Atlantic City Baltimore Dover Wildwood 302 likes 6abcactionnews A Red Flag Warning has been issued for parts South Jersey until 7 p.m. Thursday. There is also an elevated fire danger in the Philadelphia region. 10 190 4,067 167K
Adrian C. Jackson @AdrianCJax· 13h ... We don't care what PR firm you hired to rehabilitate your image... WE AIN'T FORGET SHIT! Science girl @gunsnros... 19h Stingray eating lettuce CC 325 6,669 52.4K 4.2M
rosey @thechosenberg- 22h ... When your friend gets engaged it's important to make sure everyone knows you have a bigger ring joannazanellaschaub 49m ... X KODAK II by danielaamero > Welcome to the club BFF @_NATCE_ 359 1,995 48.4K 4.2M
@honeyyyyh... 14h ... honey hearted If I ever get pregnant, this is the image I will use for the announcement. No pregnancy test, no ultrasound, just this 34 5,288 58.6K 1.1M
YALL @NegroAphrodite-1d Koi fish asking for food: CG From capricorn cunt 110 4,506 42.7K 1.6M
bella @earlygirl_ 22h ... I'm watching a 30 minute youtube video of two old polish people showing how to sculpt a traditional butter lamb, and tearing up for some reason as she gently places the cloves in and says and now we give him eyes to see 140 7,302 92.2K del 1.7M
martha @mxmsworld.1 17h ... Damn, adulthood is realising so many people are losers. Very sobering. 35 9,374 36.2K del 1M
**** @wnbagirlfriend 1 1d the best part of smoking weed is when you get schizophrenia 69 3,227 25.1K 813K
@astralfvck-18h ... Idc if you're 22 just don't do it around me 16 448 3,119 del 93.3K
album in like 9 days @poisonjr 1d i got into a car accident when i was 19 and i called my dad and he said well i don't know what you should do cause i don't really get in those. that's just me 114 4,048 98K 2.1M
spencer @Sssnakeepit.2 23h easiest choice of my entire fucking life My Rewards Redeem for 2500 points WE'RE SUPPORTING в в с CHILDREN IN NEED £2.50 M Medium Fries £2.50 BBC Children in Need Donation 83 3,123 61.1K 2.9M
Rebecca Wilks @WilksBecca 4d ... With all the love in the world, why would you deploy tummy in this situation N The National @ScotNati... 4d NEW: The organiser behind the Glasgow Willy Wonka experience which went viral across the globe has claimed his life had been 'ruined' by the event. 'I was devastated and I was sick to the pit of my tummy' 128 3,874 77.6K 3.6M
black cat @visualscat.3d ... 26 1,776 15.8K 408K
Aidan James @mcandidate 2d thank you Photos for throwing up this treasured memory today TESCO PENNE - - MADE IN ITALY - Its hollow centre and distinctive ridges hold sauce well I 1 I the www para ! is - 0.4g 1.9g The 0.3g 1.1g 12 A 25 15% 2% mins Hob of the reference Typical values per voos Energy Was 195kcal T 388971 > EC 4 years ago 27 261 12.5K 255K
Shane в @strait_vibinn 2d You like what you see white boy? CHILI REWARDS M/REWARDS PSS a 10 a COM/REWARDS ESH 189 505 9,732 797K
@salzmann_ . 1 1d This is the most Midwest shit I've ever ... seen HOW YOUR Kroger PL Krogersnow YOUR PLUS CARD Kroger HAPTORS FRIL - I - 6:32 7332 BARNES el 20 8 HOLIDAY P 11 7 30 43 SIAKAM FOR us 20 11 SABONIS 3RD QTR 9 3 20 5 ACHIUWA 3 12 6 33 TURNER TIMEOUTS 3 13 1 02 22 LEVERT 75 3 FOULS 67 FRE 33 TRENT JR. и2 12 1 16 5 43 23 VANVLEET - 392 PENALTY 7 BROGDON Cincinnati 61 2,092 42.1K 1.5M
lexaprofessional @queasy_fbby.2d ... smoking that Inspire by Montel pack PAN-ERA MARK PAPA'S SIN Diamonde SAN Inspire by Montel Inspire Inspire Inspire Inspire be MOSTEL MONTEL MONTEL AMOSTER CBD 1:1 1:9 CBN CBC CBD THC CBD THC THC THE CALM CHILL SNOOZE ENERGY 1g Concentrate 1g Concentrate 1g Concentrate lg Concentrate ENERGY CHILL CALM SNOO CBD 1: THC 9 CBD 1: THC 1 CBD:T CBD:CBG THC CBN:C Flavor: Flavor: Flavor: Flavo E 38 1,092 11.4K 638K
shawn @hoglord666.1d my friend max has been saving the wax from babybel cheese for like 6 months. today, i received an update: 142 1,378 21.3K 660K
Te @teehee4free.22h ... Ik they both don't play about their oatmeal and applesauce.... Dexerto @Dexerto.1 1d Robert De Niro at 80 with his 10 month old baby Не had his first child over 46 years ago
Sleeveless Hoodie Jay, The Ma... 1d ... My dog ate all the pieces to my scrabble game. Took him to the vet. No word yet. GIF ALT 102 1,572 14.6K 301K


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