30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, March 13, 2024

After professing love for Ryan Gosling in The Fall Guy, willingly participating in Jimmy Kimmel’s Oscar night bits and producing two nominated films, Steven Spielberg is taking some much-needed Steve time. 2024 marks the rare year in which the legendary filmmaker has nothing on the docket. At the post-Oscars Universal Gala, Spielberg told Showbiz 411 that he’s “trying to figure out what’s next.” While the E.T. director won’t have anything in production this year, he did hint at what’s next — the highly anticipated Ready Player One sequel, though he’ll be leaving that director’s chair open for someone else as he’ll only be returning in a producer capacity. 

A sentient symbiote is also gearing up for a break — and this one is permanent. Tom Hardy’s waltz as Eddie Brock and Venom is seemingly coming to an end, as the third Venom installment has been officially named Venom 3: The Last Dance. With the lackluster critical response to Morbius and Madame Web, it’s a no-brainer for Sony to pump the brakes on its superhero output. But in classic Sony fashion, giving Venom 3 such a definitive name may bite them in the ass if it ends up being a success. Originally intended for a November release, Sony is pulling back the curtains two weeks earlier with a newly announced October 25th release date. 

There are no breaks on the timeline, though, where everyone is as funny as ever. Today’s funniest tweets include those about things to do when you’re single, what not to say to a therapist and the ludicrous power of the “calming banana.”