30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, March 6, 2024

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30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Dakota Johnson has done her job to ensure that Madame Web becomes a future cult classic. In a recent interview with Bustle, the actress distanced herself from the film, saying that she’s not surprised that the movie “has gone down the way it has,” referring to Madame Web’s poor critical reception and corresponding 12-percent score on Rotten Tomatoes. While she’s not fond of being “a part of something being ripped to shreds,” she did describe the comic book movie as a “real learning experience.” What did she learn, exactly? That she “doesn’t make sense in that world.”

Kirsten Dunst, on the other hand, will sign on the dotted line for another superhero movie in a heartbeat — but it’s not because of her love of comic books. The actress, who previously played MJ in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy, told Marie Claire that comic book movies “pay a lot of money” and she has two children and a mother to support. The good news: After Tobey Maguire’s No Way Home cameo in 2021, rumblings of a fourth Spidey film starring him and Dunst have grown louder and louder. 

Big paycheck or no big paycheck, the timeline is hard at work putting the “super” in “super funny.” Today’s most hilarious tweets include those about your fitted sheets’ secret power, a real thorn in one person’s side and a jump scare at the bathhouse.

Adam @adamgreattweet- 23h ... these celebrity partnerships are getting out of hand PRODUCE OF U.S.A. LUDACRISP APPLES 249 7 ea e PLU: 3537 17 1,200 18.1K 435K
Mommeh Dearest @mommeh... 21h ... I hate when doctors knock before they come in. Like what do you want me to say who is it? 152 1,159 15.4K 520K
...STEVE! @IGoBySteve 22h ... Did anyone else have scoliosis screenings in 5th/6th grade or was that a fever dream? I was telling my kid about it and looked at me like I was an Ellis Island immigrant from 1897 1,374 845 20.9K del 781K
Fesshole @fesshole 23h ... FESS HOLE When our friends got married in Thailand, my girlfriend was so sure we were invited she booked flights and hotel. Turned out it was immediate family only, so we spent 4 days hiding from them on the resort until they left, and to my knowledge they still have no idea we were there. 97 901 41.1K 2.2M
Jere @lostbodies2020.19h Stayed W this guy i just met the other night and i woke up standing over the bed and this what he said I agree for you but that's good I really hope it was just a night terror that was something interesting I think so i dont really do that Like sometimes ill wake up confused and stuff but i wont be standing This is what I saw when I woke up 65 503 12.4K 643K
@AnAn... 15h ... an angry opossum which one of you been mashin the snail button PUSH BUTTON FOR 99 2,711 38.2K 670K
Cheyenne @iLove_CC-18h I think about this post all the time Imfao big daddy dre @moyodre Y'all pray for jobs you're unqualified for then go ahead and get upset your manager doesn't know what he's doing. Не said that prayer too 3:36 PM 21 Feb 22 Twitter for iPhone yeehaw carter @_heyyyms... 1d Y'all don't be qualified for these senior roles and finesse into getting them job and ruin everyone's life 34 4,733 20.7K 1M
Cat @CatHunterESPN-22h ... Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear? 136 2,905 45.3K 2.4M
T @sheistaitum.2 20h Your friends having serious jobs is so funny. What do you mean you're in charge of the ward today? 81 3,862 25.1K 1.3M
Dienda @GamecockDienda-4h A day in the life of a 4th grade teacher. ... Behavior incident: -Drew was grabbing on to his class mates back pack. Class mate asks Drew to let go. Drew responds with, I will let go if you let me bang your mom. 39 239 6,139 396K
k @how_do_i_pdf.2 21h ... Fitted sheet being taken out of the dryer like I have a secret:) and the secret is your wet laundry wound up in it 121 10.2K 118K 2.7M
@cardamomkiss.57m Calling someone unconventionally attractive is so funny like yeah you're kind of busted but I can bravely see the beauty in you due to my Open Mind 5 72 553 9,825
@OhCoco 22h ... I think parents did a shitty job of conveying how much they were going through as adults. Because if I knew you was getting disrespected & harassed all day then maybe I'd be more eager to defrost the meats. 225 12.8K 79.9K 3M
Fredo @FredoInDaCut995.2 21h Me: Work is so exhausting Me at work: 5 1.1K 4.7K 141K
MOSCHINODORITO @moschinodorito 1d Yeah! Also Meryl Streep and I have a combined 21 Oscar nominations. Patches @PatchesGOAT· 1d Denis Villeneuve and Zack Snyder casually dropped the best sci fi movies of the past year. ZACK SNYDER FILM CHALAMET ZENDAYA FERGUSON BROLIN BUTLER PUGH BASTISTA WALKER SETDOUX SKARSGÄRD RAMPLING BARDEN REBEL MOON PART ONE: A CHILD OF FIRE D I n PART TWO THERE ARE NO HEROES ONLY REBELS. ONLY IN THEATERS 03.01.24 ONLY ON NETFLIX 22 DECEMBER 19 1K 22K 613K
(x) @ProjectENDO 15h Bring back Robert Pattinson but he's still doing the Boy And The Heron voice 4F @DiscussingFilm m 16h DiscussingFilm The 'TWILIGHT' remake will be an animated series. (Source: Deadline) 21 19K 486K 1.6K
eR @bjorkspears 1d when your card declines at therapy so they force you to watch this Catherine Deneuve Björk BEST Astonishing! An exhilarating and PICTURE original work of cinema. A triumph PALME D'OR of form, content, and artistic integrity. CANNES FILM FESTIVAL -Lisa Schwarzbaum Entertainment Weekly BJÖRK BEST FEMALE a film by Lars von Trier PERFORMANCE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL Dancer in the Dark You don't need eyes to see. AME LINE FEATURES AND ZENTROPA ENTERTAINMENTSA TRUST FLM SVENSKA ALMIVAST LIBERATOR PRODUCTIONS ZENTROPA PRODUCTION A FIMER LARS VON TREE MUSE COMPOSER BY BJÜRK STARTING EJORK CATHERINE DENEUME DAVID MORSE PETER STORMARE JEAN-MARC BARR
Grovy @grovymango 14h I have escaped my enclosure. Where can I find this Dolce @daily_dolce. 23h Mango ice cream 7 591 9.9K 239K
Ben Gross @bengrossbg• 16h Oh, you noticed that too, did you? 1-800 Flowers 2m ago We want to hear from you! Hi , We noticed that you didn't shop with M us this year for Valentine's Day. As a valued customer, we'd like to ask you a few questions to see how we can improv... 30 385 15K 348K
jay @jayythewave 22h me on all social media accounts after taking one good picture 12 2.1K 10K 193K
dash is watching satc (s1) . they/them @thedi... . 18h ... my mom was on the phone talking to someone about me and she said my daught- my *child*, she's non- identifying we almost there 17 183 5.1K 76K
MACEO @liImaceo 17h ... are you mad me: поре 12 3.9K 16K 401K
iguana 3: @odd_iggy 1d ... HELP Next time I go to the bathhouse I'm hiding behind dark corners and scaring gays like the unknown did to those kids in that rip off wonka factory 1 2 1 156 1.6K 50K
Leila Mohaideen @leiitontheline. 1d Tell me you live in DC without telling me you live in DC TIME SENSITIVE now Message from your Dasher ل Should be there soon got caught in the president's motorcade lol 3 162 3K 106K
Voldemort @ib_2cute . 23h Credit Karma will say anything to get you to open that app 69 2.4K 9.2K 311K
derek @derpo377.20h ... we need to see every stage of Sheldon's life. we need to see Sheldon die 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .20h The 'YOUNG SHELDON' sequel series is moving forward at CBS. 50 383 6.8K . 167K
chris @ATR3IDES. 17h you could tell me this was a despicable me poster and i wouldn't even question it Agustín R. Michel @AgustinrMichel - 1 1d Alternative movie poster for Denis Villeneuve's 'Dune 2'. @dunemovie DUNE PART TWO 37 5.1K 118K 3.2M
Chris @citehchris2 23h THIS - - (on a first date watching her bowl her ball right into the gutter) hey something just came up i have to leave it was nice meeting you 40 1.5K 28K 1.5M
first ethical space cowboy @... 20h ... when coworkers start asking about my weekend plans I feel like I'm talking to cops 34 3,502 22.5K 632K
donald boat @laserboat999 13h ... told my parents to check out curb your enthusiasm. Backfired 8:06 5GE 239 M Mom > It is hilarious Не actually walks and talks like you so we were just laughing so much 42 977 35K 912K


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