30 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, March 4, 2024

They’re the grocery store’s greatest hits
30 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, March 4, 2024

Zoinks! Matthew Lillard is reclaiming the role he was born to play. The actor, whose prolific turn as Shaggy Rogers in Warner Bros.’ live-action Scooby-Doo films paved the way for him to take over Scooby-Doo voicing duties from Casey Kasem, is back and ready for a comically large sandwich in a very secret new Scooby project. Details are still under wraps, but Lillard shared that he’s attached to an entertainment endeavor that will “allow kids to put themselves into a Scooby-Doo adventure.” Although it’s seemingly not a third live-action movie that would bring back Sarah Michelle Gellar and Linda Cardellini, more of Lillard’s Shaggy is still something to celebrate. 

Meanwhile, not content with butchering just Winnie the Pooh and Steamboat Willie, horror writers are fast at work turning something else that absolutely doesn’t need to be a horror movie into a horror movie. This victim comes at the hands of a Scottish production company that is set to turn last week’s viral “Willy Wonka Experience” into a film titled The Unknown — named after one of the characters from the chocolatey Fyre Fest-esque experience. Production is said to be firing up now with a release date slated for later in the year, which is at least 1,000 new viral moments away. 

This afternoon, though, get ready to immerse yourself in some hysterical tweets. Today’s funniest ones include those about supermarket classics, God’s horniest soldier and a fifth Culkin brother.

lil bump stock @m_booker1 22h what da hell do y'all be talking about S @saucherie 1d saw this reel that said no one thrives more in an airport than a solo travelling eldest daughter and like YES so true 209 5,527 91.3K 5.3M
eli @nienna121.23h ... i i am discovering incredible things on the childfree subreddit Is anyone here a NINK? (No income,No kids): r/childfree - Reddit www.reddit.com - Feb 24, 2017 ... 61 1,020 21.8K du 690K
defleppardfan94 @lemonade_g... 1d ... facebook is back 10:47 LTE 7 Eric Ivan Wolf Follow ... 4d Got a meatloaf flavored vape from goodwill and now my arms won't bend :) Like Comment N Send Share You and 212 others 51 5,427 87.5K 2.2M
depths of wikipedia @depths... 22h ... 148 years ago today! WIKIPEDIA The The Kentucky meat shower From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Kentucky meat shower was an incident occurring for a period of several minutes between 11 a.m. and 12 p.m. on March 3, 1876, where what appeared to be chunks of red meat fell from the sky in a 100-by-50-yard (90-by-45-meter) area near Olympia Springs in Bath County, Kentucky. 12] There exist several explanations (from the plausible blood rain to the not so plausible vulture ejecta) as to how this occurred and what the meat was. 128 2,520 23.2K 1.2M
KILLER MEG (Interdimension... 15h ... When im making my grocery list and I write down Bread, milk, eggs I always smile to myself. Because those are the classics aren't they 77 3,730 1.5M 72.6K
Accidental Bronson @Accident... 2d ... lan @Bank_Moody I play pickup basketball with the son of an Armenian butcher. I get a discount on various cuts of steaks 20 932 19.3K 907K
James @exhaustdata 19h This is so intimate I would think about him every day for the rest of my life tones! @tonestirade.21h ? Your Dasher ? Steven Order is taking a while Received now Giving you a lemon from my tree Received now 65 7,734 140K 3.4M
Greg Newkirk @nuekerk. 1d ... Weird way to put it but okay I Thirst For Souls 39 757 6,084 232K
Sade @_munchkinn.8h My niece had 5 waffles, that's half the box. She can't stay here no more 26 155 853 43.5K
gloh @notgloh 17h ... bigunk 5h bigunk 5h I'm always two steps Would be 3 but I got ahead of you bitches asthma 19 1.2K 7.6K 170K
nyah! @JINKIESBTCH. 5h ifw ppl tht say wtf they gotta say at 7:56 am 25 1.7K 5.9K del 188K
ENJOY. @kimleann_.4h my thang. no @naaeee_xx.6h What y'all do for a living? 25 7.5K 16K 903K
paul @paulswhtn 19h Reverend Mother sounds like something a gay person on stan twitter would call their fave 47 2.7K 36K 1.7M
Bryce @brycenote 16h ... me explaining my little comic book to my girlfriend 10 588 5.8K 162K
Adrian Rae @adrianraee 22h ... This is a queer friend group 14 623 3.9K du 91K
Stolen Dune @StolenDans. 4h ... bro thinks he's muad'dib VeggieTales @VeggieTales.. 4h Continue to follow God's direction, Не will never lead you astray! #VeggieTales FOLLOW GOD'S DIRECTION! VeggieTales ©2024 Rig - Air Rights Reserved 20 673 12K 606K
Canderous Ordoliberal @butleriano. 1d audiences love movies about bookish young men unleashing unspeakable horrors. 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm 1d 'DUNE 2' domestic opening weekend was only $1M less than 'OPPENHEIMER'. Read our review: bit.ly/Dune2DF 6 301 6.4K 208K
austin @ilovefamilyguy 18h How it feels smoking that gas station delta 8 pen 37 2.7K 30K del 915K
Rich @Crashhefner. 1d ... Tubi got they taxes question tubi Tubi CHAMPIONS 452 4.2K 40K 1.3M
bigsock @biggersocks.2 22h Rehehehe @doxie_gay.23h FANTA wyd after hitting the scoobert doobert bong 171 133K 6.9M 13K
THE lusty argonian maid @lindawg 1d ... i asked him to watch my drink while i went to the bathroom & came back to this the 258K 30 134 6K
Antoine Hardy @Slangdini 21h ... Dude trapped in this role. Не a living commercial. . Не gotta do law & order or something to wipe the slate Jacob Feldman @JacobF... 1d Is anyone doing sports marketing like State Farm? FOX 62 14 7 22 Zwe 6-06 SOUPHNE Passport NEW S - CLARK m TAXA JAKE FROM STATE FARM 432 6,940 132K 5.8M
Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred•1 17h ... Gonna start tilting my head like a dog when my boss talks to me. 26 436 3,588 du 102K
naomi @lachancenaomi27-18h naomi @lachancenaomi27.2/24/24 ... Flight attendant: is there a doctor on this plane? Formerly gifted child who is an oldest daughter: I'm a formerly gifted child who is an oldest daughter 2 5 62 del 2.2K S @saucherie 1d saw this reel that said no one thrives more in an airport than a solo travelling eldest daughter and like YES so true 25 3,095 40.3K 1.2M
Jennifer McAuliffe @JenniferJ.... 20h ... My friends are like don't settle! But I can see their husbands 152 1,125 8,866 484K
Adam Ellis @adamtotscomix-17h ... Is your boba tea worth it 1856 - 136 2,577 44.9K 1M
@charleyonhere. 1d Every day. Nothing compares to the midnight release of a new candle Dave @GamewithDave.  1d Do you miss these days? GameStop YANKEE CANDLE Famo Foot 183 13.8K 205K 7.3M
Kath @yourgirlkath 1d ... why it have culkin brother eyes CG 0:23 358 5,268 72.2K 9.6M
phage @clubmoss_ 1d ... No Jeremy, I do not think I will be adding you on facebook today пепа requests Jeremy 20 mutual friends Confirm Remove 116 1,482 23.7K 829K
worms cited @christapeterso.14h ... My parents are in Costa Rica and I wasn't invited but they brought a picture of me on a stick where I look insane ALT 50 158 9,163 174K


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