23 Crazy Renaissance Faire Moments That Are Much More Medieval

‘Do you know how to fight a man in armor?’
23 Crazy Renaissance Faire Moments That Are Much More Medieval

Renaissance faires are full of horny nerds with swords who will commit to the bit. But every now and then, they see something that makes them break character. Like witnessing a guy melt his arm off by falling into a fire after a falconer’s owl got loose. 

Redditors have donned their garb and told stories about the renaissance faires of yore, and it seems that a Venn diagram of the kink community and renaissance faire cosplayers is just a complete circle.

AbedSherbatsky . 8y I play a wench at a festival in the midwest. Around the end of the day we have a 21+ show where we serve beer while some of our acts cone sing all the raunchy stuff they can't perform the rest of the day because they're surrounded by kids. So it's near the end of the day and we're serving beer to people who have ben drinking since around noon so they get kinda ballsy. We're a pretty group of girls and get hit on, asked out, and several unwanted requests. One day at the end this guy
. 8y A guy I knew fell onto the blacksmith's fire and basically melted his arm, because an owl the falconer couldn't control swooped at his hair and tried to rip it off. ... 3.4k
RosTyler . 8y Another random story: I go camping with my friends every year at the Renaissance Festival. One night my friend and I were wandering through the campsites at night, and we came across one campground called, Naughtyham (you know...instead of Nottingham... hardy har har..). Anyways, upon approaching the bonfire in the middle of the camp, we saw a naked woman getting her tits lashed with a fiery whip. ... 5
NikolasGoodrich 0 8y Juggler for 6 years at MichRenFest. My first day working there I was walking through a large crowd of people while in costume with a plastic plate with my food on it. My boss saw me and screamed you're not supposed to have plastic plates!!!!! everyone stopped and watched me and I did a cringeworthy dance to distract them. She was fired the next day. ... 3
rascal_king . 8y A girl working the costume shop was in a Victorian era dress during the English Monarch weekend. She managed to shart herself, and due to the massive undertaking of re- costuming, she decided to try and play it off. It did not work. 90 degree weather combined with sweat and shitty undies is a horrible mix - there were little kids sprinting out of the costume shop retching and people generally avoided the area all day. The kicker is, for whatever reason, at the end of the day, she revealed the source of the miasma to be herself. She
caul_of_the_void 8y Not a former employee, but this happened once at a renaissance fair I went to in Maryland. You know those hatchet/knife throwing stands that they have... Well there I was, in line, and someone threw a knife that hit the wood next to the target, and it ricocheted back towards the line of people. Out of nowhere, this middle- aged woman fucking catches it. Completely safely too. Somehow she caught it by the handle and not the blade. The barker guy was like Fantastic catch m'lady! But you should never, ever, try that again. To which she replied
dirty_hooker . 8y I was serving up fried turkey legs and funnel cakes wile on booms. That's was always a good time. I used a studded mace like a baseball bat to strike a PBR can that was tossed my way. I got so high once that I was sober. Lots of casual sex all over the place. After the crowds leave, the grounds are at free reign of renn fair folk. One night around the fire I had an older swinger lady trying way to hard to catch my attention and was dancing around naked. I met a lovely
MrDurp . 8y RenFaire in CA at the old black Forrest location. They decided to have the petting zoo near the arena. This was OK until the Falconers Hawk decided the bunnies looked tasty and swooped down , killed and ate a bunny in front of crying children. ... 16
Flutterwander 7y I worked for a crew for two consecutive summers: First was doing Jailing and light entertainment, second doing jousting (I was ground crew/squiring not riding. I could have taken some lessons and learned some basics if I would have been willing to drive halfway across the state every weekend, but alas, I was broke as shit.) Anyway, my favorite fair story is probably the time we almost came to blows with another fight team for reasons I am not entirely clear on. The details are largely unimportant, but the thing that stands out to me was my boss
justjezplox 8y This isn't as crazy as some of what's posted on here but it's pretty funny. Back when I was in high school I worked at SCRPF. A teacher who taught at my school also worked there. Не played the tax collector. So this one time another performer friend of ours was eating cookies. The tax collector walks up and with his mean tax collector face says Cookie tax! Our friend didn't know what to do as he had pretty much just put the last cookie in his mouth while the tax collector was talking. So being the good
dt_failz .88 One year I worked security for a renaissance fair/Olde English fair in central Illinois. The most entertaining memory I have occurred during my daily rounds of the campgrounds. Over the radio I hear the following message, Security, please be aware of a shirtless man wearing pink pants. Не was last seen at the belly dancing stage asking the dancers to whip him with his own whip. Approach with caution. Not long after I see a band of security volunteers, dressed in fair garb, running and tackling this man and escorting him off the premises. ... 457
SerLaron e 8y Question from a child at a cooking fire: Is that real fire? Mother: No, they had no fire back then. And then there was the helpful visitor who picked up the red-hot piece of iron that the blacksmith had dropped accidently. ... 2.8k
Directorshaggy . 8y I used to play drums for a belly dance troupe at my local Faire, but this story happened when I was attending another Faire as a patron. We were in our tent settling down to sleep when we hear a girl climax off in the distance. A few minutes go by and she passionately wails again. After 3(!) more loud orgasms, we hear a guy yell Bravo! and the whole campground starts applauding. ... 111
TravelsWithTheDoctor . . 8y I watched a cooler full of cooked turkey legs get dropped and spill on the floor. The manager made us pick them up and serve them anyways. ... 34
audiodoc . 8y The weirdest interaction I've ever had at a Ren Faire is when a baby dragon vendor put a lizard on my pregnant belly and insisted he could tell if I was having a boy or girl by the way the anole curled its tail... ... 103
BE GAY UmiZee . 8y DO CRI I remember I was working one day and there was a fair virgin (someone who had never been to the fair before) going through the tradition of being put in the stocks. Immediately after he was put in there, a large group of children ran up and started beating him with wooden and foam swords. I would've felt sorry for him if I wasn't busy trying not to laugh. ... 1.1k
hodson19 . 8y This year a group of furries came to the Colorado Renasisance Festival and proceeded to have like fake orgies with each other all over the park. Unfortunately I have to keep moving around a lot so I never got to watch them for very long but I saw them a few times doing some really inappropriate stuff in the morning. I'm not sure if they got thrown out eventually or they just got too hot, either from the sun or other reasons. ... 5
maschine01 . 8y Some guy this yr jumped into the show and stole a characters sword. The characters wife (wife in real life as well) jumped on the guy and got him in a choke hold until police arrived. Bad ass woman. ... 2.9k
adamjocon 3y Performer at my local faire for 3 years. The venn diagram of the ren faire and kink communities is pretty much one big circle, so you see a lot of crazy stuff coming from both patrons and performers. One season, I saw I woman walking around with a man, who was on a leash and almost fully naked. It was Kids' Weekend. Patrons also constantly get escorted out for eating random mushrooms that they find in the faire (our faire is in a national park). Most folks are trying to get high, and some even claim that it's
TheJan1tor . 8y I squired for a group of Knights for 3 summers. The most dangerous (and therefore the most entertaining) part of their routine was was the Joust (since it's essentially real -- not choreographed like their fights). Well one show the Marshall (the employer for the group) was taking a ride around the arena when his horse collapsed and died in the middle of the show - turns out the horse had suffered a brain aneurysm.
Omvega 8y I worked at a shop that sold baby dragons aka green anoles. They are very small, calm, friendly lizards and once you hold them for a few minutes they get used to your body heat and will chill with you all day. They also have green/ brown/yellow color changing camouflage. My job was to stand outside the shop and let people pet them. My favorite part was letting them pet the one I was holding in my hand, then pulling two or three more off various parts of my costume and scaring the shit out of the unsuspecting
ClimateMom 0 8y Not my story, but an acquaintance who sometimes works the Ren Faire circuit once told me about an idiot who jumped one of her co-workers in a secluded corner of the Faire. The girl managed to scream and within a couple minutes the guy found himself surrounded by a lot of very pissed off people with swords. ... 5
Shortyh21 . 8y I worked the Colorado Renaissance Festival my senior year in High school. I would stay in the back behind the bar where we served drinks and fill up cups. Every freakin day, this guy who had geese would come in and sit in the outside area. Не could see me making drinks and he would just sit there and stroke his stupid geese. One by one he would pick up his goose and slowly stroke it, never leaving his unnerving eyes from me. Honestly creeped me out. ... 3.8k

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