24 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of February 26, 2024

A perfect regimen
24 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of February 26, 2024

It’s been an insane last seven days. A Glasgow-based events company promised children a “magically immersive Willy Wonka experience,” but instead delivered a poorly-decorated warehouse that adult attendees compared to “a meth lab.” Meanwhile, Kensington Palace had to issue a statement that Kate Middleton is not missing, due to Twitter speculation about the Princess of Wales’ whereabouts after she hadn’t been spotted since late last year. And as part of the promotion for Dune: Part Two, Rebecca Ferguson appeared on Reign with Josh Smith, where she told the host about the “idiot” co-star she once worked with who berated her in front of the cast and crew, asking, “You call yourself an actor? This is what I have to work with?”

The Swedish actress never mentioned anyone by name, but that didn’t stop the internet from once again putting on its collective detective cap and trawling IMDb for potential leads. Dwayne Johnson, who worked with Ferguson on Hercules, came out and said he’d “like to find out who did this” as well. The same for her Girl on the Train co-star Emily Blunt, who went on to offer her love and support. And so, people are naturally speculating that it’s tabloid magnets like Tom Cruise or Jake Gyllenhaal. Don’t rule out Jacob Tremblay either, though — child actors can be menaces. 

When not working on cracking the Ferguson case, the timeline was up to its usual hilarious hijinks. This week’s funniest tweets included those about gay couple dynamics, the ideal awards acceptance speech and Jesus serving body.

ponyboy @ponyboooooy 15h AQUO It looks like a dentist commercial on mute POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.22h Miley Cyrus stuns in new promotional Spotify video for her Pharrell Williams collaboration, Doctor (Work It Out). FG 0:03 91 3,662 80.5K del 2.5M
Paradoxe, The Great @Astrono... 3h ... They about to shoot you out of a cannon. JUICY @juuiiiccyyy 1d I just paid $11 for my flight to La 146 2,568 15.4K du 631K
cam @largemotorcycle 20h People who use their parking brake 29 140 2,971 del 100K
lilly pulitzer prize @eviIcherub - 5h ... yes austin 11:17 5G 63 Additional messages Austin Butler @Austinbutler239 ... Hello dear, are you one of my true and loyal fan? 2 76 1,814 49.9K
Kassie Jo Baron @Kassie_Jo_Ba... 7h ... I have been at conferences with many tools who will offer real time feedback Dickie Bush @dickie... . 2d ChatGPT is the first tool that offers real-time feedback on the quality of your thinking. 16 271 3,029 110K
ditch pony @molly7anne 6h ... as a woman I REFUSE to make myself small for YOUR comfort unless YOU are my CAT and you are sleeping on my bed like a little baby prince boy I will contort and accommodate and give you five thousand head kisses ready set muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah mua 2 144 1,202 del 23.4K
Darth Erogenous @darth_eroge... 3h ... I will always shoot the messenger. Не shouldn't have told me that 3 135 1,462 29.9K
Borey @GoToBedRory- 19h *God, watching me lying in bed while eating a pile of doritos I spilled on my chest* probably could've just made that one a mollusk 18 244 2,265 du 59.3K
Fredward, Fredward @Fredwa.... 14h ... Daily Brain Workout: 2 sets of counting to ten. 2 sets of alphabet. 10 minutes of trying to spell restiront. Then list animals until failure 57 4,772 40.9K del 1.3M
camille preaker's vodka @joachimtrier • 1d they're gonna find kate middleton 23 861 9.6K 424K
Claire Penis @ZeroSuitCamus 2d ... Toddler 1: what are we gonna do?? Im still hungry from yesterday..... Toddler 2: lets say we want grilled cheese. There's no way she can spend 4 1/2 hours making grilled cheese The trad mom: max (derogatory) @maxafrass . 3d People who wfh taking their lunch break TikTok @ naraazizasmith SM 1:57 306 4.7K 101K 4.5M
matt ranalletta @mattranalletta 9. 3d emotional distress Michael. It's one What could it cost, five dollars? POP CRAVE @PopCrave 3d Pop Crave AT&T to give $5 credits to customers affected by widespread service outage. THE AT&T THE NOTE EXITED STA FRAS MERCICA ML 84733370F 13K 12 204 1
kara @knmccc 2d ... The Unknown waiting for their part at the willy wonka experience 41 5.1K 95K 1.7M
Tom Reagan's Hat @RufusTSuperfly 1d ... Had a preview of The London Paddington Bear Experience. My son's still crying. 35 334 3.3K 123K
kenzie XCX @kenzvanunu.5d ... pedro pascal starting his speech i'm a little drunk and ending with im gonna have a panic attack and leave is exactly what i want from speeches 10 3.8K 42K 811K
Т.К @FCLKT. 2d ... PER Stumbling upon your friends' linkedin will always be funny - I never knew you stood on business like that my G 419 19K 115K del 6.5M
Tyler Logan @Loop528·2 21h ... Asking gay couples which is the oompa loompa and which is the unknown 11 164 1.3K 51K
FMJ funko pop @thedarkprowler.4d - UBER now Young Stroker the Body Snatcher will be joining you along your route. You're still on schedule to arrive by 7:54 or earlier. 37 3.1K 52K 2M
SKANK HILL @dubplatelover 2d The media won't show anyone this nomi @andletmejustsay.2d It's so easy to laugh it's so easy to hate, it takes STRENGTH to be gentle and kind 20 2K 48K 1.1M
Ei @topiatwunk - 3d His blood might be wine but his body TEAAAA Colby Gordon @badinfinity2.5 5d Jesus with his extra wreath of abs 464 19K 169K 6.5M
George Wallace @MrGeorgeW... 14h ... I'll straight up listen to Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay while I'm dancing in the street, and Dancing in the Street while I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay. I really don't give a shit anymore. 48 455 5,559 140K
out of context dogs @co....13h ... 46 1,770 26.5K 482K
rick @trulyrick 5h ... Me: hi Bradley cooper: I shower with my dad. I don't love my daughter. I am Maestro. 4 113 2,195 du 60.6K
ScHoolboy Q @ScHoolboyQ.3h ... THank u sHrek SHREK KNOWS RAP @... . 4h THIS SCHOOLBOY Q ALBUM IS PERFECT 49 2,830 29.3K 1.3M


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