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Nothing gold can stay

39 Most Excellent Things Ruined by Ads and the Internet

March 02, 2024

The internet giveth, and the internet taketh. It’s a place for fandoms to meet and discuss their favorite franchises, and a place for scheming ad agency lackeys to eavesdrop and determine the most insidious ways to hawk their product.

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According to African Travel, Inc. and Virtuoso, a network of premium travel advisors, African safaris are being tainted by the fact that poachers are using the Geotags from Instagram posts of unsuspecting tourists to locate and hunt animals of value. Poachers use EXIF viewer apps to extract all nearby Exchangeable Image file Format images, which contain GPS information that lead them straight to their prey. GRACKED.COM — Source

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The internet takes everything so seriously that creators can't even make jokes without them being repeated far and wide as facts. ROPERTY OF Alan Moore once joked that Sean Connery's contract ensures him that he'll have a bigger explosion than he had in his previous movie, and some sites took it as gospel. CRACKED COM — Source

37

Justin Bieber's I'll show you music video and its millions of YouTube viewers shut down an Icelandic canyon. The somewhat unknown Fjaorargijúfur canyon had a 50-80% increase in traffic within two years of appearing in the video and eventually got so damaged it had to be closed for over 10 months. CRACKED.COM — Source

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Remember Erin, the Esurance mascot? The company axed her from its commercials because fans kept creating and posting Erin porn. CRACKED.COM — Source

35

Organized trolling made Rotten Tomatoes less useful. Po L Movies TV Sh x + https://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes Search movies. TV actors, more... - TRENDING ON RT Best Movies of 2019 Pet Sematary Reviews SNOW - - WANTER TV SCORECARD! Trolls worked together on a large scale to drive down movies' Want to See metrics (likely driving down ticket sales). So RT made the Want to See metric an absolute number, not a percentage. That means you can't tell anymore if a movie is hyped up but nobody actually wants to see it. CRACKED.COM — Source

34

Online ticket scalpers ruined LCD Soundsystem's farewell tour. Seconds after the tickets went on sale, they were all snapped up by bots. Minutes later, those tickets appeared on StubHub at a 1200% markup, dashing many fans' dreams of seeing the band perform for one last time. GRACKED.COM — Source

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Pokémon GO players damaged a historic Revolution-era fort. Fort Phoenix was the site of the first Revolutionary War naval battle, and in 2016 attracted crowds of people because of some rare Pokémon. GO players were caught publicly urinating and digging holes looking for treasure near the fort, and generated tons of garbage. They even tore down a section of stone wall with a crowbar. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

An Ontario based seed farm had to close down their sunflower fields after images of their picturesque fields went viral. The Sunflower Fields are CLOSED For viewing/pictures The 7000 strong crowd caused a major traffic jam, trampled crops and left a ton of garbage behind. The farm has been closed to the public since then. CRACKED.COM — Source

31

It was great that so many dudes on the Internet rejected gender norms and embraced My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. ANTHRO HEIGHT CHART 5'10 THE MANE SIX 5'7 5'5 5'3 5'5 5'2 AMBRES Less great is how it (like all things online) went sexual. What was supposed to be a property for children immediately became impossible to safely Google without getting 500 NSFW images. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

CRACKED.COM Online piracy drove Еріс Games to stop making PC games from 2006 to 2012. EPIC GAMES in 2006, for every bought copy of a PC game, there were 10 pirated ones. So Еріс went console-only for a while. — Source

29

In 2007, McDonald's revived Mac Tonight, a mascot from the early '90s, for their Southeast Asian market. McDonalds B After appearing in a video meme, the character CRACKED.COM caught on among alt-right amateur producers, who now use Mac Tonight in synthesized videos with racist themes that frequently promote hate- fueled violence. — Source

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The residents of Rue Crémieux in Paris have urged the local council to close their street on evenings and weekends due to all the visitors looking for perfect Instagram shots that ended up disrupting their daily lives. CRACKED COM A local even set up Instagram and Twitter accounts to document visitors doing cringey poses and dance videos. — Source

26

GRAGKED.COM Thanks to internet trolls, Pink won't post pictures of her children anymore. When she posted a cute photo of her kids with a pelican on social media, she was buried under a deluge of angry anti-circumcision comments. The singer vowed never to post pictures of her kids again. — Source

25

CRACKED.COM For years, it's been impossible to hear the name Karen used nicely. Now all we think when we hear the name is a terrible person who wants to speak to your manager. — Source

24

Ringo Starr stopped signing autographs in CRACKED.COM 2008, because people just eBayed them. Не got sick of seeing his autographs go up on eBay one day after he'd sign them. — Source

23

Instagram has gotten in the way of locals enjoying Horseshoe Bend in Arizona which was previously seen as a local place for family outings. Since the launch of the app, the number of visitors there has increased alarmingly to about 5000 daily as crowds troop in to take pictures, and people have even had fatal accidents there. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

4Chan members hijacked TIME's 100 Most Influential People poll and voted in Christopher Poole, the founder of the controversial online community. TIME100 TI E100 TIME100 LLC TI TIME IME100 Poole ended up topping the list with more votes than Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, and Oprah Winfrey. GRACKED.COM — Source

21

AUSTRALIA Rasing Ceremany معة by И Docklands Australia Shary Parache BACK A Festival at Commin 2017DAY THURSDAY 26 JANUARY Share the for with QMS A billboard in Australia which featured two Muslim girls wearing hijabs was taken down after threats were made by online trolls. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

At some point, the world's biggest WORLD video game got WARCRAFT desperate enough to seek endorsement from Chuck Norris in an ad made of his already dying memes. CRACKED COM — Source

19

The 2006 adaptation of Charlotte's Web released a series of Wendy's Kids' Meals promotional toys. WENDY'S tide Charlotte's Medy Web LIMITED EDITION WILBUR COLLECTOR/FIGURINE Apparently they thought the best way to advertise a movie about a pig's desire to not be eaten was with a restaurant that serves bacon burgers. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

John Mellencamp's Our Country is remembered more as a Chevy truck ad than as a call for social and political equality. Chevrolet launched its Silverado ad campaign months before the song's official release, weakening the impact of lyrics like... There's room enough here For science to live And there's room enough here For religion to forgive CRACKED.COM — Source

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39 Most Excellent Things Ruined by Ads and the Internet — Source

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39 Most Excellent Things Ruined by Ads and the Internet — Source

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39 Most Excellent Things Ruined by Ads and the Internet — Source

14

The awesome power of the Infinity Gauntlet was shown giving people car insurance. In a GEICO ad, the GEICO Gecko fantasizes about changing reality by snapping his fingers with the Infinity Gauntlet on. The change he'd make is giving tons of people (everyone?) GEICO coverage. After all, is there a better way to use the universe's most powerful item? CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Schick used Neon Genesis Evangelion characters to shill their razors in Japan. NE RV ick x - Because nothing communicates close shave better than psychologically damaged characters from a depressing anime. CRACKED.COM

12

Carl's Jr. gets X-Men's Mystique to promote their X-Tra Bacon Thickburger. MAN UP The burger is so manly she has to turn into a man to enjoy it. CRACKED COM — Source

11

DirecTV's ad made Kirk act like an obsessed consumer. Kirk refuses to raise shields when a Klingon ship appears, saying Chekov (who asked to do it) should just relax and enjoy the Enterprise's great new DirecTV viewscreen that Starfleet paid a lot for. Inspiring messages pretty much define Star Trek, and Sit down and watch your expensive TV isn't one. (Also, since when does the Federation use money?) CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Brad Pitt's brother, Doug Pitt, helped recreate Se7en's ending in an ad for Mother's Brewing Co. - THE HOP en SPECIAL SPECIAL MOTHERS and RELEASE RELEASE - It's complete with sanitized lines like Tell me what's in the flippin' box! and I'm trying to tell you how much I admire you... and your delicious beer. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

CRACKED.COM CHARLIE BROWN TOOK A STAND AGAINST COMMERCIALISM. GET MET. IT PAYS. BUT APPARENTLY ONLY AT CHRISTMAS. — Source

8

Using Winston Wolfe from Pulp Fiction to sell insurance should be breaking some kind of law. But that's just what Direct Line did in a series of TV ads. I sell insurance doesn't quite have the same ring as I solve problems. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

A local government in Philippines thought it would be a good idea to add Wolverine to their circumcision ad. BARANGAY PILAR OPERATION TULI LAS PINAS CITY APRIL 6, 2018 NATURE PARK 8:00 A.M. A project of Кар. Tito Martinez and Council Tuli is an obligatory Filipino rite of passage for young males, where boys get their foreskin removed. The Philippines Department of Health runs the event Operation Tuli annually, providing free circumcision to children as well as adults. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

Buy $15 of Pretein Bars Get $5 towards One Movie Ticket to WONDER WONDER WOMAN JUST WOMAN WAS de to ree THE FACE OF - 1 ... THINKTHIN thinkThin PROTEIN - - : г BARS. thinkThin That's right, the image - 1 of a strong, powerful, man - feminist superhero thinkThin was used to sell - Thank 531 snacks to help W - - ass women lose weight. thinkThat - NOMBER VOVA 20 Meanwhile Batman I - and Superman | - - appeared on the cover - 74 of Muscle & Fitness. CRACKED.COM 1 — Source

5

Kermit is supposed to be a chill and friendly frog. It's very uncomfortable seeing him in a BMW commercial driving dangerously and getting road rage. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

DirectTV managed to get Ellen Ripley to shill their subscription service... ...while battling the Alien Queen. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

portal from facebook Requires wireless internet connection and adidas Facebook or WhatsApp account. THE MUPPETS TAUGHT US TO COUNT. SADLY, THEY'RE NOW TEACHING US TO LET FACEBOOK INVADE OUR PRIVACY. CRACKED COM — Source

2

Ford had the Planeteers summon a car. Ford CAPTAIN PLANET AND THE PLANETEERS TM and с TBS Productions, Inc de provided countrity of TBS Productions Inc. Ford's ad shows the Planeteers combining their powers, but instead of fire and water, they use words like technology and communications and entertainment system. They summon the Ford Electric and cheer. So ... they're as happy to see a car as they are the embodiment of nature. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

MAKE LOVE John Fogarty's song NOT WAR 'Fortunate Son': Rich, patriotic people start wars, but it's YO NO always the poor who 5 have to fight them. NO VOI M NO UNA LUP 'Fortunate Son' in 2002 Wrangler Jeans commercial: Yay, patriotism! Some folks are born to wave the flag, ooh, they're red white and blue, and-when the band you. CRACKED.COM — Source

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