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You used to be a backup dancer for the Beastie Boys? Sure, Vin Diesel

33 Lies That Seem Impossible to Say With A Straight Face, But Here We Are

February 26, 2024

No one would fault you for embellishing a little to get a job. Heck, we put all kinds of outlandish stuff on our resume to land this gig. Speaking of which, man, I hope the Cracked higher-ups don’t read that part. Luckily, this job isn’t life or death. Now, if it were lifeguarding, we promise we’d never lie about our CPR training and swimming abilities! Lookin’ at you, Vince Vaughn.

33

Pulitzer Prize

CRACKED ANET COOKE EXTRA EXTRA! PULITZER PRIZE REVOKED FOR FAKE NEWS! After Washington Post reporter Janet Cooke won a Pulitzer in 1981, she admitted that her story Jimmy's World was fabricated. Jimmy, the 8-year-old heroin addict, and his entire family were completely made-up. — Source

32

CRACKED PHOTOGRAPHY'S BIGGEST SCANDAL! Out of 43,135 photos, José Luis Rodriguez's photo of a rare Iberian wolf named him the Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year. An investigation found that it wasn't a wild wolf, and he was stripped of the prestigious award and banned for life. — Source

31

Sandra Bullock

Careers built on a lie BUSINE Sandra Bullock: Age-fibbing gone wrong. Bullock lied about her age to get a job, and was later outed for pretending to be younger. She admitted that she had lied so many times she had lost track of her own age. CRACKED — Source

30

Careers built on a lie Mila Kunis' age-defying lie leads to success. Kunis admitted to lying about her age to land her breakout role in That '70s Show when she was 14 years old. She was aware that the creators knew her age by the time the show started filming, and she credits the set for helping her stay away from drugs and inspiring her career. CRACKED — Source

29

Careers built on a lie From zero to Bond overnight: George Lazenby's outrageous lie. Lazenby lied to producers about his acting resume to get the role of James Bond in the 1969 film On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Despite his mediocre acting, the producers bought it and gave him the part. CRACKED — Source

28

Careers built on a lie Robert Irvine: Fired from Food Network for fibbing. Irvine, the star of Dinner: Impossible, got fired for lying on his resume. The Food Network did not renew his contract despite airing the remaining episodes of the season. CRACKED — Source

27

Vince Vaughn

At 16 Vince Vaughn was certified and worked as a life guard. Fortunately it didn't result in a tragedy, but he lied about having taken a CPR course and despite his claims he made to the woman in charge, he was also a terrible swimmer. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Notre Dame Football

Careers built on a lie C 5 adidas 3 embarrassing George lie: Notre Dame stunned. O'Leary resigned as Notre Dame football coach after it was revealed that he had lied about his academic and athletic background, causing a major embarrassment to the storied Notre Dame football program. CRACKED — Source

25

Careers built on a lie Chloë Grace Moretz: Film star, British accent master. Moretz tricked Martin Scorsese into thinking she was British in order to land a role in Hugo. She had lived in London while filming Kick-Ass, so she was familiar with the rhythm of the accent. CRACKED — Source

24

Careers built on a lie Rachel McAdams, blinded by ambition. McAdams lied about her horse hair allergy to land a role in Terrence Malick's movie To the Wonder, but her eyes swelled up and she couldn't see when she was on set. CRACKED — Source

23

Careers built on a lie Sadie Sink, rollerblading fibber. Sink revealed that she lied about having rollerblading experience in order to help her secure the role of Max Mayfield in Netflix's hit series Stranger Things. CRACKED — Source

22

Careers built on a lie Robert Pattinson: Master of deception in Hollywood. Pattinson lied about his education to get the role of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, and he admitted to lying to get almost all of his early roles. CRACKED — Source

21

Khloe Kardashian bragged about baking. But her Instagram pies looked a little familiar. Sweet Lady Jane bakery owner Jane Lockhart confirmed they were her pies, quipping, I thought, 'She has to be kidding me.' I want to say, 'Good job. You want a job here? CRACKED.COM — Source

20

VIN DIESEL SAID НЕ USED TO BE A BEASTIE BOYS BACKUP DANCER. EAST CURIOUS When Ad-Rock was asked about his claim, the musician said that it wasn't true. Не thinks Adam Yauch might've helped Diesel get into a dance club once and that the actor might've misinterpreted that as being a part of the band in some way. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

STEVE RANNAZZISI LIED ABOUT BEING IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ON 9/11. In 2015, The League star came clean and admitted that he came up with the story to get people to like him after moving from New York to Los Angeles. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

TYRESE GIBSON CLAIMED WILL SMITH GAVE HIM $5 MILLION FOR HIS CUSTODY BATTLE. In a 2017 Instagram rant, Gibson claimed that his estranged wife was pregnant, that he's broke, and that Smith gave him $5 million. A couple of weeks later, the actor admitted he made it all up and blamed his outburst on antidepressant medication. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

Scott Thompson was Yahoo's CEO. Не claimed a bachelor's in computer science. His B.S. degree turned out to be BS, as came out during a shareholder struggle over seats on the board. The college he cited didn't even offer a computer science major when he would have gone there. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

Actor Brian Dennehy said he'd been a Marine. For years, he bragged of his Vietnam service. Не was actually stationed in Japan in the Marines' athletic department... and he left before anything major started in Vietnam. The truth came out in the 1998 book Stolen Valor. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

Bill O'Reilly witnessed all sorts of combat. In the Falklands, Northern Ireland, El Salvador ... News sites found he was lying. For example, he said he saw nuns get shot in the back of the head in El Salvador, but he didn't step foot in the country till months after the conflict. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

TERRENCE HOWARD FALSELY CLAIMED TO HAVE A PH.D. IN CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. any DE In 2013, Howard told Jimmy Kimmel that he got a doctorate from South Carolina State University. However, he actually only got an honorary degree after speaking at the school's commencement ceremony-scsu doesn't even offer a chemical engineering degree. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

TheBawlrus . 11y My friends girlfriend a long while back told everyone she had leukemia and the medications were why she never had money. Also that she was getting harassed by a psycho ex-boyfriend who had accused her of a bunch of shit so if the cops showed up everyone needed to act like they didn't know her. Turns out she was in serious trouble for check fraud. Also, no leukemia. ... 1 — Source

12

Porfeariah . 11y I was helping my boyfriend of seven months move when I came across his college degree... Stating a graduation date about ten years off from what he had been telling me the entire time we had been dating. Come to find out not only is he way older than he had claimed, but surprise! Не has a wife and two kids! That was a fun afternoon. ... 15 — Source

11

cigr . 11y A friend of mine in high school convinced everyone she was pregnant. Her boyfriend dropped his plans for college and enlisted in the Navy in order to help support the child. Baby showers were held, gifts were given. After about 10 months she finally admitted to everyone she had been lying all along. ... 29 — Source

10

Zammin . 11y Most impressive lie I've ever heard discovered: A certain person I knew thought he was circumcised his whole life. His parents explicitly told him he was circumcised. Earlier this year, at a random doctor's appointment, he found out he was not, in fact, circumcised. Kinda awkward, considering he's Jewish. ... 3 — Source

9

11y My friend made his parents believe he was colorblind up until he was 13. Не used it as an excuse for his bad grades, and used it for getting things by trying to get sympathy. I was with him and his family when we were driving to a mall and he said: woah look and that shit- colored car! His whole life pretty much went downhill after that, his parents lost all respect for him. They stopped buying him all this nice things , and they were a wealthy family too. It bit him in the ass pretty good. — Source

8

Journalist Tom Kummer published incredible, exclusive celebrity interviews. Не accomplished this by making them up. In the phony interviews, Mike Tyson pontificates on Nietzsche, Sean Penn discusses Kierkegaard, and Bruce Willis philosophizes about morality. In his defense, Kummer called his work borderline journalism. CRACKED COM http://www. .nytimes — Source

7

In 2010, Lin Chunping became a financial celebrity by saving the bankrupt Atlantic Bank, in Delaware. Lin's success landed him a cushy position on a Chinese government advisory board. There was no Atlantic Bank in Delaware. Lin made the whole thing up. CRACKED COM http //www huffingtonpost .com/2012/06/18/in-chunping-fake-bank n 1604886 .html — Source

6

Dr. Laura Callahan served as the Department of Homeland Security's Deputy Chief Information Officer. All of her degrees were phony. All three of Callahan's degrees, including her Ph.D., had been purchased from an online diploma mill within the space of one year. She'd had them backdated to avoid suspicion. CRACKED GOM http ://www cbsnews.com/news/diplomas-for-sale-08-11-20047 — Source

5

Realtor Sam Leccima was featured on an episode of A&E's Flip this House. FORD Не didn't actually own, fix up, or sell the houses. Leccima had his friends and family pose as buyers and sellers, and staged cosmetic renovation scenes for the camera. Not only did he not own the homes, he would not have been able to sell them. His realtor license had been revoked. CRACKED COM http ://www today com/id/1 8985912# VhFelRNVhBc — Source

4

When Emily Miller walked in on a home invasion, she became a gun rights advocate. BANG! Except she lied about the home invasion. Miller's version of the story (in her book, for example) has her interrupting a robbery in progress. In the version she told police, she questioned a man delivering firewood. http://www.mediaite. com/tv/fox-reporter-emily-miller- CRACKED COM under-fire-for-allegedly-fabricating-home-invasion-details/ — Source

3

In 1912, Charles Dawson discovered Piltdown Man, the missing link. d It was a human skull attached to an orangutan jaw with filed-down teeth. The discovery was accepted by the scientific community for 40 years before new dating technology allowed scientists to take a closer look at the bones. http://www.nhm.acuk/our-science/departments- CRACKED COM and-staff/library-and-archives/collections/piltdown-man.html — Source

2

Stanley Weyman

In 1921, Stanley Weyman introduced Princess Fatima of Afghanistan to President Harding. Не did it by posing as a government official. Weyman told the princess he could get her an audience with the president, then bluffed his way in by saying he was the State Department Naval Liaison Officer. CRACKED GOM http://www.newyorker. ar.com/magazine/1968/11/16/he-big-little-man-from-brooklyn — Source

1

Dr. William Summerlin floored the scientific community with his patchwork mice who had transplanted tissue. He'd transplanted black fur onto white mice, with science. And then the transplanted fur rubbed off. Turns out the good doctor had colored the mice's fur with a marker. CRACKED.COM http //w astro berkeley edu/-kalas/ethics/documents/painted-mouse pdf — Source

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