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29 Bizarre Deaths That Will Make You Glad to Be Alive

February 23, 2024

We’re all basically living in Final Destination. All we know for sure is that yesterday wasn’t our day. And that’s worth celebrating!

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29

England, 1881 Sir William Payne-Galwey was KILLED BY TURNIPS. Sir William, a former Member of Parliament, was out hunting when he tripped while crossing a turnip field, falling bodily onto the vegetables. Не sustained severe injuries, and died a few days later. GRACKED.COM — Source

28

Oakland, 2007 Humberto Hernandez was killed by A FLYING HYDRANT. A SUV hit the hydrant after blowing a tire. The 200-pound lump of metal didn't just topple down-water pressure sent it careening like a bullet, straight into Hernandez' head. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

Hidr Korkmaz was Netherlands, 2017 ELECTROCUTED WHILE FISHING. Korkmaz, a former drug dealer, was a witness against a Dutch mob kingpin. But it wasn't hitmen that did him in n - it was his own fishing gear. As he was casting his line, it hit an electricity pole. Zap. No more witness. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Florida, 2013 James Campbell was RUN OVER BY HIS OWN VAN (DRIVEN BY HIS OWN DOG). As Campbell opened a gate, the dog ran out, jumped into the van, and pressed the accelerator. The van struck Campbell and ran over him. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

Austria, 1567 Hans Steininger died when he TRIPPED OVER HIS OWN BEARD. Steininger, mayor of Braunau am Inn, rocked a bitchin' beard which grew past his feet. This became a deadly problem when a fire broke out, and he tried to run down a staircase in a hurry. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

San Francisco, 1854 William Snyder suffered DEATH BY CLOWN. 13-year-old Snyder was peddling candies during a circus show, when a clown suddenly grabbed him by the ankles and swung him around. The swinging ruptured an artery in his lungs. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Brazil, 2013 João Maria De Souza was CRUSHED BY A COW IN HIS OWN BED. The COW, which had apparently escaped from a farm, got on De Souza's roof via a hillside. Then the roof collapsed under the cow's weight. De Souza's wife, who was sleeping next to him, was unharmed. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

Dick Wertheim New York City, 1983 died from a severe case of BALL TO THE CROTCH. During the US Open, future tennis star Stefan Edberg (then only 17) served a ball straight into the groin of linesman Richard Wertheim, knocking him out of his high chair and onto the hardcourt surface. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Bobby Leach New Zealand, 1926 SLIPPED ON AN ORANGE PEEL. Leach, a daredevil who had survived gown doing Niagara Falls in a barrel, was killed by an orange peel lying on a sidewalk. The accident broke his leg, and complications eventually led to his death. GRAGKED.COM — Source

20

Archduchess Mathilde of Austria Vienna, 1867 CAUGHT FIRE FROM HER OWN CIGARETTE. Mathilde's father had forbidden her to smoke - so when he walked in on her, she hid her cigarette behind her back. She was wearing a gauze dress, which caught fire right away. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

United Kingdom, 1924 Thornton Jones CUT HIS OWN THROAT WHILE SLEEPING. I dreamt that | had done it, Jones wrote for his family. I awoke to find it true. Не lived for 80 minutes. The inquest ruled his death as suicide while temporarily insane. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

France, 1927 Isadora Duncan was KILLED BY HER OWN SCARF. The celebrated dancer was riding in the backseat of a sports car, when her long, flowing silk scarf was caught in a rear wheel. Duncan was yanked out of the car, breaking her spine. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

England, 1975 Alex Mitchell LAUGHED HIMSELF TO DEATH. Mitchell laughed for a solid half hour watching his favorite TV show-then, he collapsed. His widow wrote to the show's stars to thank them for making her husband's final 30 minutes SO enjoyable. GRACKED.COM — Source

16

Lord Carnarvon was Egypt, 1923 KILLED BY A MOSQUITO. (A CURSED MOSQUITO.) Lord Carnarvon accidentally slashed a mosquito bite while shaving, and the ensuing infection killed him. As he had been involved in opening King Tut's tomb, the press was happy to blame his death on a curse. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

Moscow, 2014 Christophe de Margerie died when he CRASHED AGAINST A SNOWPLOW. WITH HIS AIRPLANE. De Margerie, CEO of a big French company, was about to take off from Moscow, when his private jet hit a snow plow. The plow's driver, who was reportedly drunk, walked out unhurt. GRACKED.COM — Source

14

Draco of Athens was smothered by gifts. Draco created the first written laws for Athens, most notable for his generous use of the death penalty. While being honored on stage, people threw so many hats and coats in adoration on his head that he suffocated. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Claudius Drusus choked on a pear. The eldest son of Roman Emperor Claudius died while playing with a pear, tossing it up in the air and catching it with his mouth ... a little TOO successfully. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

Sisamnes was flayed alive. Sisamnes was a corrupt judge who accepted a bribe. The king had him arrested and flayed alive, with his skin being used as a leather cover for the judge's seat that Sisamnes' son would sit upon. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

Pythagoras was murdered after refusing to run through a bean field. The Greek philosopher was being chased by political enemies. Instead of escaping through a bean field (as by his own teachings they were considered ritually unclean), he stopped running and was murdered. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Mithridates was executed by scaphism. The soldier was punished by his king by allegedly trapping him between two boats, feeding and covering him with milk and honey, and waiting for him to be devoured by insects. Не stayed alive for 17 days. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

Sophocles choked on an unripe grape. Other legends of his death include dying of joy upon hearing his last play had been successful and dying after reading aloud a monologue from Antigone without pausing to take a breath. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Chrysippus died laughing at his own joke. The Greek Stoic philosopher saw a donkey eating figs out of a basket, and jokingly told a servant to give the donkey wine to wash them down with. Не couldn't breathe from laughing too hard. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

Qin Shi Huang ate mercury pills. The first emperor of China died in 210 BC ate mercury pills, believing they would give him eternal life. They had the opposite effect. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

Antiphanes died when struck by a pear. The writer of the Middle Attic comedy taught us to be on the lookout for any wayward fruits. They are obviously deadly. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

Empedocles of Acragas jumped into an active volcano. In a very ironic act to prove he was an immortal god, the Greek philosopher decided to hop into a volcano. If only all cocky bastards got what was coming to them. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

Aeschylus was killed by a tortoise dropped by an eagle. The ancient Greek tragedian's bald head was mistaken for a rock by an eagle, who was looking for something solid to crack the tortoise's shell open. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Heraclitus covered himself in cow manure and was eaten by dogs. Heraclitus suffered from dropsy (or edema) and attempted to cure himself by smearing manure on himself. It did not end well for him around 475 BC. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

Charondas

Charondas killed himself after he broke his own law. KIA The Chalcidian lawgiver forgot to leave his knife at home, which violated his own law forbidding carrying weapons within the city. So he drove the knife into his own heart. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

Agathocles died via poisoned toothpick. The Greek tyrant was assassinated when using a toothpick that had been poison-soaked in 289 В.С. Oral hygiene sometimes kills. CRACKED.COM — Source

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