28 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, February 19, 2024

George Santos might need to be a little more mindful of the Cameo requests he fulfills in the future. The disgraced congressman and self-proclaimed “icon” had some choice words for one Cameo buyer — Jimmy Kimmel. According to a lawsuit filed on Saturday, Santos didn’t know that the late-night host had requested videos that went on to be used on Jimmy Kimmel Live! in ways that “capitalized on and ridiculed” Santos’ “gregarious personality.” The New York Republican is seeking $750,000 in damages from Kimmel, ABC and the Walt Disney Company for copyright infringement, fraud, breach of contract and unjust enrichment — legal terms Santos is very familiar with at this point.

Santos and Kimmel aren’t the only politicians and late-night hosts who tussled this weekend. On last night’s episode of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver made a rousing offer to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, with one stipulation — he has to retire. Oliver said that if the Republican judge resigns from the Supreme Court, he will pay Thomas a million dollars annually as well as give him a $2 million tour bus, which, of course, pokes fun at some of Thomas’ most recent transgressions. Oliver made sure to clarify that “this is not a joke” and waved a contract that Thomas has 30 days to accept. 

Meanwhile, over on the timeline, there’s a new batch of tweets definitely worth a million bucks (just don’t go quitting your day job, kids). Today’s funniest tweets include those about a city that goes bananas, a deeply profound personal essay and taxes that will get filed… eventually.