34 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Yup, that’s Paul Giamatti
34 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, February 14, 2024

After the third highly successful season of Only Murders in the Building, Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez are temporarily leaving the Arconia behind and taking a trip to the Golden State. Disney Television Group President Craig Erwich shared with Deadline that the fourth season of the show will take place in L.A. — a city that’s no stranger to the podcast-industrial complex. When asked if Meryl Streep would be reprising her Golden Globe-nominated role from the series’ third season, Erwich sang Streep’s praises in such a suspicious manner that we might need to get Charles, Oliver and Mabel on the case.

In other Disney-related news, Marvel Studios took to Instagram to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a retro card that doubled as an official announcement for the new faces of the Fantastic Four. Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Joseph Quinn and Ebon Moss-Bachrach have been brought into the MCU fold for the fourth overall iteration of the Fantastic Four and the first since Josh Trank’s 2015 film with 20th Century Fox. 

All the while, the timeline has had a bevy of fantastic tweets to fall in love with. Today’s funniest ones include those about Gen Z’s introduction to a classic archetype, our greatest living poster and the actor immune from facial blindness.

@doxie_gay.1 1d what do mummies do when they catch you? do they just beat your ass? 126 1,691 21.7K 663K
mr online @Absolunar 1d his hair is Grapes His Hair Is Grapes 20 607 8,157 270K
Ky @Kaashindigo 1d ... So they don't love storm :/ S @Theylovestorm_.1d I'm about to be 26 and I've never had a valentine. Valentine's Day date, been asked, had the experience or anticipation of the day.... Wow. Lol this is actually wow. 480 4,911 46.1K 3M
trap womack @trapkeez 2d ... I was in Nordstrom looking for something to wear and a roach was crawling on the ground. Lady started screaming and then look at me and said did you bring that in with you?? Bitch.... 360 2,576 26.4K del 1M
@Whotfismick-2 21h ... when my friends are trying to teach me Fubu the rules of a card game and I physically cannot listen 342 12.1K 110K 5.1M
Mr. Thank You @cOmmunicants-1 14h ... My girlfriend can't understand how I can instantly recognize Paul Giamatti in Planet of the Apes but not my neighbors when I see them in public. And that's fair. 20 419 9,999 379K
Blake TM @NeilNevins 6h ... fake fan. Wendolene doesn't like cheese and is not compatible with Wallace. 4F DiscussingFilm @Discus... . 6h Happy Valentine's Day! 19 816 13.2K 539K
Mike F @DeputyWarlock·20h summer is the season for eating clearly defined shapes. hamburger. hot dog. pizza. winter is primarily for foods you couldnt hang on the wall. stews and casseroles. autumn is a transitional period because you have big turkey leg but also stuffing 24 1,493 20.3K 503K
staid @staidindoors.2 22h josh brolin in his trailer between takes AN ST DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.23h Josh Brolin wrote a poem for Florence he looks mamem Eyes with sparkling her eyes whice 4 mugh dem laugh at the ready A wan n fileg it over his head behind be and her Pugh on the set of 'DUNE 2'. tape become in own performance thoug larger Monny comes voto the you love immedium du the will ruse his stage someone something call i Marilyn and even surrounded by the e home.you can fort ho with preparing for her ground her becomes has down berwece shors splayed in has prince ti tired في dur lies these without MANTY ose of carry soyaby I think with h this chan
bfa agonistes @superloafcat. 1d ... this is unironically one of the funniest pictures ive ever seen in my life 14 152 3.3K 331K
Alex @alexjkane 21h The choice of image... jail 109 io9 G @io9.22h lan McDiarmid Is Open to the Idea of Palpatine Having Sex dlvr.it/T2j3B0 16 392 6.2K 234K
Mr. Thank You @cOmmunicants-1 14h My girlfriend can't understand how I can instantly recognize Paul Giamatti in Planet of the Apes but not my neighbors when I see them in public. And that's fair. 19 388 9.3K 347K
michael @FilledwithUrine . 23h stand on business? girl i know your iron levels you won't be standing long 32 1.4K 8.4K 338K
cigarette @sojuboyteIIem 1d run on sentence ass commute > > T > T > 1 hr 16 3 6 10:41 AM 57 1.6K 36K 957K
justin @nothinbutlag 18h y'all say u fuck with spongebob but ur not in the jellyfish fields w/ him and patrick till 3am like i am. u didnt get out the mud working double shifts at the krusty krab together like we did. we pranked squidward. we stopped plankton. that's brother shit. humble yourself. 35 733 4.9K 70K
ogirl, interrupting @irlrubysparks 17h one of our greatest living posters _crystalbeth 5h ago are there any famous roles you've passed up on? do you regret it? Reply ... - 29 Kyle_MacLachlan OP . 5h ago Nate Jacobs in 8 578 9.4K 284K
ettingermentum @ettingermentum.2h ... lol he's taking it personally Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump . 3h BIDEN IS NOT TOO OLD, HE'S TOO INCOMPETENT! 1.82k 2.93k 11.5k 16 197 5.1K 131K
Wookieelndex @WookieeIndex 1d The true measure of wealth is not your private equity portfolio, it's this: THICAL HAPPY GGS HENS SMALL FAMILY PARMS BAY INTENDED BY HAND RAISED Vital PASTURE FARMS 18 LARGE EGGS GRADE FRESH AIR FORAGE OUTDOORS 14 undem a SUNSHINE YEAR HOUND 108 or TENDED BY HAND 11 SMALL FAMILY FARMS FER HEN 18 NITERCY Vital THR PASTURE-RAISED LARGE FARMS RAO'S RAO'S Kernygold MILK FROM GRASS-FED cows SINCE 1896 Kerrygoló RAO'S offr HOMEMADE PURE IRISH BUTTER All Natural, Premium Net Wt. 8 OZ (227g) MARINARA NET WT 15.5 OZ (440G) 434 4.2K 49K 2.6M
jamie mclean @jamiemcln . 19h ellen in the back omg POP CRAVE @PopCrave.1 19h Pop Crave Sean Evans from 'Hot Ones' is reportedly dating porn star Melissa Stratton. Vuitton 1K 58 32K 1.1M
first name lexi @lexishaye_ 1d the landlord painting over a moth on my bedroom wall before I move in 3.8K 78K 1.7M 61
hil @plume_ . 1d i intercepted a wonderful message, an omen maybe, from yesterday's wordle E Wordle ? Subscribe to Games F о U N D G R E A T T A S T Y P A S T A 43 2.9K 987K 57K
@MrToDamnFunny 16h Jake Hole babe i promise I only had three beers. the three beers: Esablished 1902 Established 1992 GENUINE PURE HEILEMAN'S Old HEILEMAN Style PURE GENUINE Old HEILEMAS Style O PURE GENUINE Old Style Classic Classic Classic Lager Lager Lager Old World You Sparkling Sparkling Pure Spring Was Hop's 55K 1.4K 86 8
US? Justin Volpe's I By Stevo Fishuran hannah @dumbandfunn.5h happy Valentine's Day to all the single and fabulous ladies out there <3 NEW YORK he AS @Spotledflick Single & Fabulous? Eat drink and never-be-married By Sabrina Wright the 296K 9.3K 1.9K 15
Midna @IRLAsuka 19h Is my TV some kind of freak or something Hisense @ Roku TV Home Live TV Get in the mood Streaming Store Search Settings 88 2.2K 26K 429K
Ultima Reload @UltimaShadowX. 1d The worst thing about Madame Web is that there is no way we can gaslight Sony twice and get them to put it back in theaters later. Culture Crave @CultureCrave. 1d #MadameWeb is currently at 22% on Rotten Tomatoes The only Sony Marvel film with a lower score is #Morbius (15%) 464 4.3K 70K 3.3M
Honeydew Wilkins @HoneydewWilkins . 16h Ricki MIKE WANTSTOTELL HISVALENTINE CRUSH LAKE SHE HAS BODACIOUS BAZONGAS® 132 4.9K 28K 1.4M
Swolecialist @BlackLanterrn 23h ... The ermagerd girl is literally a classic archetype. We all know one from grade school. As did our parents, and their parents before them. Ermagerd girls were churning butter with the pilgrims. They will work in the ai mines of 2094. Time is a flat circle Bill Ari @ImBillRay 2/7/24 this speech pattern is spreading like wildfire, one day it will be taught in schools CC WHICH MEANS 0:24 4.1K 136 76K 4.3M
i dont have a name @de4dname.4h asexuals on grindr playing the ads for games that don't actually exist: GIF ALT Sam (he/him) @mushycrouton 2d GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE GRINDR IS FOR ALL LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE... 3 2K 65K 216
meesh @mishricci i.23h ... would try Let's make Jap SHREK Piss M BOMBAY SAPPHIRE Distilled LONDON DRY GIN Tapour INFUSED Facebook - between FROM 1761 NATION IMPORTED 47% alc./vol. 750 ml Likes 959 8 78 738 46K
kiwikinz!! @peeholelicker.1 1d we're putting you on antipsychotics STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY SWAG!!!!!!!!!!! 52 6,654 46.8K 1.4M
Animal memes online @cats... 1d ... r/AskReddit tringles u/ThatTreeWillFall 7y Reddit, what is the most intelligent thing your pet had ever done? Share 6774 4127 ihavespaceballs 7y My cat yawned, so I stuck a finger in his mouth. Не sort of stared at my curiously as he shut his mouth, but didn't bite down hard. A few minutes later, he's sitting on my chest and I yawn. Не proceeds to put his whole paw in my mouth. 95 7,142 111K 3.3M
Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel . 1 1d ... should i airdrop this to the person in front of me on my flight 8:41 Notes February 12, 2024 at 8:41PM landing is gonna be so epic. 1 hour and 6 minutes left. woohoo!!! 46 1,550 63.8K 1.7M
krimbo @fuckasparagus• 1d my temu lobotomy was sucsussfull 46 7,184 67K 2M
mia @rasputinboneym 1d Just told my students that my family is southern italian and a kid in my class said Yeah I read that in your grandpas obituary 11 367 11.4K 298K

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