25 of the Funniest Excuses People Have Given

We’ve all ripped a fart in a less-than-ideal situation. Most of us continue on with whatever was happening like the pfft! never occurred, or we make knowing eye contact with whoever else heard it, entering into a silent and sacred bond that neither of us will break. But every now and then, a real hero steps forth to boldly blame what everyone knows was a freaking fart on something else. Like the Home Depot employee who simply said “ducks” after squeaking out a tooter so loud that customers stopped to look and a pigeon was startled from its perch. 

Ducks? That’s the best excuse you can come up with, dude? You kinda gotta hand it to him. He just said anything and dared people to argue. Of course, no one did. 

Redditors have offered up the most pathetic excuses they’ve ever heard, and some of them actually border on genius.