28 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, February 5, 2024

Buenos Aires. Paris. Madrid. Yokohama. Some of the world’s most beautiful destinations have also served as hosts of the FIFA World Cup. And when soccer’s biggest event returns in two years, the scene will be set in none other than… East Rutherford, New Jersey? That’s right, some of the sport’s biggest names will be a stone’s throw from the Bada Bing! as they try to make history and bring the World Cup home to their native land. Thankfully, while FIFA announced that MetLife Stadium will host the 2026 World Cup Finals, qualifying play will start in Mexico City and continue throughout the U.S. and Canada, as the games will be jointly hosted by 16 cities in the three North American countries. 

On a completely different note, last night, the millennial lesbian in your life celebrated a World Cup of her own as some of music’s most elusive chanteuses graced the stage at the 66th Annual Grammy Awards. Thanks to the success of Luke Combs’ inescapable cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car,” the famously reclusive singer joined the country star to perform her Grammy-winning hit. Later in the show, Annie Lennox honored the late Sinead O’Connor with a powerful rendition of “Nothing Compares 2 U.” And fresh off her 10th Grammy win, Joni Mitchell performed Both Sides, Now with a little help from Brandi Carlile. Of course, other history was made, too — namely, for the first time ever, the televised awards were exclusively won by female acts. You’ll get ‘em next year, boys. 

The World Cup news and Grammy wins and snubs have obviously been a hot-ticket item on the timeline today, but the funny extends to a bunch of other subjects, too. Today’s most hilarious tweets include those about the singer moonlighting as an oil baroness, a beautiful Valentine’s Day business proposal and the pain of scrolling to find your birth year.