28 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, February 2, 2024

They probably tossed and turned all night long
28 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, February 2, 2024

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a 50-foot woman! Nearly 70 years after Allison Hayes grew into a giantess, terrorizing California and a cheating husband, Warner Bros. is developing a remake of the 1958 cult classic Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. And who better to tackle such surreal source material but the master of weird himself Tim Burton? The Sweeney Todd director will receive some assistance from a woman who is no stranger to deeply complicated women as Gillian Flynn is writing the screenplay. The news comes on the heels of Burton’s Beetlejuice sequel getting its official title: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (just be careful not to say it a third time otherwise you might summon a third installment). The Gone Girl scribe, on the other hand, is taking another stab at adapting her 2009 novel Dark Places as a limited series with HBO. The novel was previously adapted as a feature in 2015 to widely disappointing results. 

While everyone and their conservative uncle wonders if Taylor Swift will make it to Vegas from her Japanese tour dates to watch beau Travis Kelce take on the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl LVIII, some other exciting news broke about a special halftime performance. Usher will be headlining the Apple Music Halftime Show, but SpongeBob SquarePants and the Band Geeks will be kickin off Nickelodeon’s coverage of the game with a polished rendition of “Sweet Victory.” The iconic song from the show’s second season will be remastered with fresh CGI for a more modern audience. The performance is yet another case of the NFL working to create experiences for people of all ages, and not just angry fathers screaming about their team covering the spread. 

Lastly, we’ve got some seriously funny tweets squeaking through in the nick of time as the long week takes us into a much needed weekend. Today’s most hilarious ones include those about someone really optimistic about Amelia Earhart’s safe return, a meal that would send Gordon Ramsay into cardiac arrest and porn bots that can’t read the room. 

L HOURLY shitpost @h... 14h ... quieres YOU WANTTO give me the pickle that came with your meal YOU WANT TO SO give it to me BAD 37 2,634 15.9K 536K
Daily Snoopy @DailySnoopys 17h ... everywhere I go, I see his face.. 36 2,212 30.3K 438K
M @turquoisemmm.20h I love rural ohio newspapers The Associa СО Pre said U.S. after troops dozen jured Bidern Maps drone field east d to Syrian border. Bi backed militias fotoliting after m 33 454 9,765 del 183K
krismadarame @krismadarame.2 22h ... tHaNkS fOr YoUr pAyMeNt! Shut up. I paid that bill against my will. 65 16.2K 94.7K del 1.9M
Oneohtrix Point sometimes 16h ... 40 years ago there were actors that just looked like this Complex Pop Culture COM PLEX 16h New looks at Colin Farrell on the set of 'THE PENGUIN' 395 5,565 99.3K 7.2M
1984's George Whorewell @E... 10h ... sorry if I'm weird I had unrestricted internet access at a young age 23 7,704 34.4K du 694K
Christine Kelley @ballardiang... 19h ... Look, I had no idea that Larry David was going to assault Elmo on the Today Show. Christine Kelley @ballardi... 2d Be less protective of Elmo. Не has a merchandise empire and only speaks in the third person. Dude can afford a dose of reality. 28 653 10.1K 384K
Dr. Rebecca Gibson @RGibso... . 12h ... For a small fee, I will go to your enemy's conference presentation, be the first one to raise my hand, and have more a comment than a question for 3/4 of whatever time is allotted for questions. For a bit extra, I'll make sure to remind them of how tenuous their argument is. 77 474 5,196 del 173K
Melissa J. Bellan @BellanMeli... . 18h ... I sent an email saying I see you all in - prison tomorrow instead of in person tomorrow and I'm pretty sure that's the worst typo a judge can send to counsel. 209 1,734 28.7K del 1M
Alex Murdoch @alexgmurd 21h the british really did something with PISS OFF like yeah. piss off!!!!! 31 5,899 56.7K del 1.1M
Arlo @ArloStuff.1 14h Over the years innumerable celebrities have established themselves as Friends of the Muppets. It takes a truly unique person to be the first ENEMY ToughPigs: Muppet Fans... 14h Larry David attacked Elmo on live TV today. Elmo is fine, but we are NOT OKAY WITH THIS. toughpigs.com/larry-david-vs... 118 4,012 47.4K 1.7M
Coco @_hotc0c0.14h To this day please don't ask me about math. I've moved on 19 7,060 23.6K del 611K
demon peen @PeeneyTodd . 16h ... Found my vape 14 303 3.9K 126K
Rhine Stoned Cowboy @BisqueBoi - 1 15h Weed is not harmful okay well then why did the edible force me to make a bowl of cinnamon toast ice cream??? HERSHEY'S SYRUP 45 I OPIUMB - I Star 89 3.4K 122K 169
pidge @miss_pidgey.13h ... me fr ] i'm so silly ] i miss them ] ELEC 18:04 How to DJ for Beginners (2024) 7.6M views . 8 years ago 7.6K 62K 1.6M 152
Dashiell M. Silva @dashiellsilva. 7h This is a Tennessee Williams play. F.L.Everett @fliceverett. 1d The absolute decadence of the local charity shop window. 17 384 4.3K 182K
jeremy @jeremylovesyall . 23h i've been trapped in this movie theatre watching The Holdovers for the past 10 years 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm . 1 1d A group of 40 people got locked in a theatre during a screening of 'THE HOLDOVERS' after employees forgot they were in there. ... 640 5 11K 393K
just some guy @realaccountyeah - 1d Womanizing is such a cool word I wish it didn't mean that 15 1K 14K 273K
expert bimbologist TM @bimbologymajor • 15h The tweet: Everything just feels so pointless idk I think I'm gonna kms The replies: SEE MY PUSSY IN BIO 45 2.6K 28K 846K
It be like that sometimes @Wilk_MadeIt - 1 1d ... The IRS only has 93,000 employees, if we ban together, we can beat they ass... l'll handle the first 3 368 7.6K 39K 1.7M
Cigs @UsingCigarettes 1d U text him at 9:30... Не reply at 9:32 What was he doing at 9:31? 141 2.5K 27K del 1M
caroline (going woman) @soonrightaway 13h your unemployed friend on a thursday: Courtney Howard @Lulamaybelle 16h Greta Gerwig is correct: 10am and 4pm *are* the best times to watch a movie. CC 0:32 101 7.2K 93K 3.2M
Flyp @flypical 21h Nicki said she was gone show up with dynamite strapped to her chest @PopBase 21h Pop Base Roc Nation will not host its annual pre-Grammys brunch this year, according to Page Six. 188 5.2K 55K 2.3M
Ryan Kearney @rp_kearney. 1d Senate Twink: TOTALLY EXONERATED, NO WRONGDOING. AUTHORIZED BY DAVID PERQUE AND PAID FOR BY PERQUE FOR SENATE Jake Sherman @JakeSherman 1d USCP says they will not charge acts and circumstances surro nesday, December 13. After с anyone in the sex video incident in a view of possible charges, it W Senate hearing room. ce that a crime was committed d had access to the room. Th et. The Congressional staffer, to talk to us. Our investigators 12 395 4.6K 412K
FunnyJoke ComedyMan @butt_sword 20h ... keeping an eye on this guy... asking some good questions r/NoStupidQuestions Join u/OkRickySpinach 16h Why haven't we developed large rice? Rice is very small. Wouldn't it make more sense if each grain was like 8 oz? Then you'd only have to eat a couple rice 1,465 353 Comments 294 5.8K 87K 3.4M
2000s @PopCulture2000s - 1d bad guys in Scooby Doo when they get their mask yanked off 55 2.3K 30K 869K
Claire Penis @ZeroSuitCamus. 21h ... Iconic fit. Like if Columbo was in smash bros and you changed his outfit ' @cravemedia_ 1d RECESSED CHOSOMALK UN a AVE ELLY 35 1.6K 28K 1.3M
jodie @jodieegrace 15h ... this comment was on a video about amelia earhart... X 2,687 comments mattie may she be found alive and safe! i know her family is worried. this is gods work 8h Reply 450 12 102 2.9K 71K


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