25 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, January 29, 2024

We actually need this now more than ever
25 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, January 29, 2024

TV lovers can breathe a sigh of relief. Despite rumblings to the contrary, Ben Stiller and Adam Scott aren’t getting severed just yet. Production on Apple TV+’s popular thriller Severance has finally restarted after an eight-month hiatus due largely to last summer’s dual strikes. Apple TV+ broke the news with a simple black-and-white photo of Scott running through what appears to be the Lumon offices. The news was all but confirmed by executive producer Stiller who retweeted the image with a commanding “Back to work.” The workplace thriller, which also stars Christopher Walken, Zach Cherry and Patricia Arquette, is hoping to fill the Succession-sized hole in the hearts of viewers everywhere. 

Meanwhile, over the weekend Dolly Parton teased that the powers that be are working on taking a stab at a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot. The news that Buffy may be coming back to slay another day was immediately usurped by the little known fact that the “Jolene” singer was directly involved with the original series. Parton, who served as an uncredited producer through her production company Sandollar Productions, told Business Insider that there’s movement in the cult classic returning but was tight-lipped about any other details like potential involvement from Sarah Michelle Gellar and Joss Whedon. This latest update comes a year after Gellar, the titular vampire slayer, told SFX Magazine that a revival “doesn’t need to be done” but she’s all for “the story of female empowerment.” 

As we dive into a new week, the timeline has given us new material to inspire some laughs. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the worst part of being an NFL quarterback, a humble plea to get children in the director’s chair and Springfield’s unlikeliest fashion icon.

Losing it @prophethusband 21h ... Hey bro can you pause the movie real quick? I have to pee and smoke weed and do the dishes. I also have to run to the gas station for a six pack and walk the dog 28 3,387 37.5K 996K
bosco @selentelechia 1d toddler's reported explanation for difficulty sleeping tonight: I want to go to bed but I am just having too many good ideas. 70 388 6,051 279K
down bad comments @do... 12h ... LMAO I love him girl what how long y'all been talking 24 mins 62 1,510 11.8K 288K
hingo @hingo 1d dating in your 30s 9:21 < Grace ... Chat Profile I prefer the tablets ngl Easily transportable Do you suffer from heartburn regularly 20 447 15.4K 474K
kay @tasteokayos.1 1d *through vampire fangs* doeth anyone want to lithen to my chemical romanthe 21 2,757 10.7K 229K
reduced cashew milk @anvyrd 17h ... Reduced - Cashew Milk I'm like if an unemployed person had a - - job 16 6,681 34.5K del 801K
Byrne Hobart @ByrneHobart-22h ... 4yo referred to the frame of a painting as the crust 33 165 3,132 410K
@astralfvck•1 15h ... girard 5 ibuprofen 2 garlic girard Try my recipe boy 14 2,841 21.3K 360K
doctor idk @bigmonkeong 1d we have child actors why dont we have child directors 255 2,324 37.4K 3.2M
isabel pabán freed @_unwell.1 1d ... guy who's only seen one bald person, seeing his second bald person: y our quasi-postmodernist outlook of th : that we tilt toward the paradigm of radio d Foucault (the Tupac of philosophy)- ratives about the dark web. We build thi rice documents, and dialogue with other inst the functionalist forms of thought th of the darl. who continion 23 1,188 11.7K 318K
macklin @saintmacklin 1d I always knew this would be how he returned НА !! НА ? Jesus is approaching with your order from Dunkin'. 18 2.4K 42K del 1M
Séamus Malekafzali @Seamus_Malek.4h ... Elmo I'm gonna be real I am at my fucking limit Elmo @elmo . 5h Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing? 79 34K 172K 4.7M
CQ @Chicken_Queen 19h ... Finally some children without cellphones F95 FCH 38:12 0 0 9 10 383 7.5K 105K 3.3M
AARON rhymes with the hermit of mink hollow @ab....21h ... Homer knows he ate this up springfieldians @springfieldians.2 21h 2.3K 112K 3 158
Pete Blackburn @PeteBlackburn 4h James Harden about to take up puck Adam Laskaris @adam_la2karis - 4h An interesting promotion from Fillmores in Toronto. FEATURING TD-NIGHT WELCOME TO NHL ALLSTAR WEEK FREE LAP DANCES FOR ALL 2024 NHL ALLSTARS ID REQUIRED ILMORES 212 - KOREA 30 10 1.1K 46 198K
Matt @mldiffley 18h Last time the Chiefs & 49ers played in the Super Bowl we had a global pandemic a month later 112 4.1K 43K 1.6M
+ @x0trippy_.22h ... Badminton is literally such a no you, no you ass sport 85 5.2K 58K del 1.1M
Taytalktome. @talktometay.22h ... Boyyy i cant be no NFL quarterback soon as you throw a pick they put a BIG ASS Ipad in your face and be like THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHAT U DID 112 4.3K 59K 2.6M
Ben Rosen @ben_rosen 16h it's funny that there's a white football player on a midwestern team with an offensive name dating a blonde haired blue eyed country singer and republicans HATE them 278 2.5K 43K 2.2M
Star girl @She2Realz. 1d ... Не posted bae birthday tomorrow I been staring at my ID for 2 hours 74 1.1K 60K 1.6M
tara @proletarat.23h ... The word subpoenaed is ridiculous 116 3.8K 50K 1.5M
gilbert @memetazaa 1d ... born to say GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY AWOOGA AWOOGA WOOF WOOF WOOF forced I to say you look great! 9 519 3.2K 94K
Gourmet Spud @gourmetspud•2 22h When you see the old guy leaving the gym shower. Rich Eisen @richeisen22h What a massively huge sack. 21 1K 22K 2.4M
© @casbby888. 1d dating for love isn't working. now i'm dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data 50 2.7K 14K 317K
josh tenet @joshtenet.2 22h if tom cruise whent on Hot Ones he would definitely Look at the wings and Point at them at say these are GOOD with that look he does with his whole forehead 49 721 19K 945K


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