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34 Rumors and Conspiracy Theories That Make Celebrities Seem Way More Interesting Than They Actually Are

Just because someone’s rich doesn’t mean they’re interesting

34 Rumors and Conspiracy Theories That Make Celebrities Seem Way More Interesting Than They Actually Are

January 29, 2024 Add Cracked to Google

We wish every celebrity had some kind of Dungeons & Dragons-esque backstory. Unfortunately, that backstory is almost always just: “My dad is rich.”

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34

MR. ROGERS was not a Navy SEAL CRACKED.COM Rumors that Fred Rogers was a Navy SEAL or a Marine Scout Sniper during Vietnam (with a number of confirmed kills) are completely false. For the record, King Friday never served either. — Source

33

Lorde

LORDE is not 40-something CRACKED.COM Starting at age 17, Lorde battled baffling rumors that she was actually 45 years old. A birth certificate was produced to disprove the theory, but as recent Presidential candidates know, that doesn't stop some people from whispering. — Source

32

Walt Disney

WALT DISNEY is not frozen beneath a theme park CRACKED.COM A celeb urban legend classic, some say Disney's corpse is stored in deep-freeze underneath Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean ride until the day science can revive him. Not true, but something to think about the next time you're on the Depp-ified attraction. — Source

31

Miley Cyrus

MILEY CYRUS was not a tool of Barack Obama GRACKED.COM Political philosopher and Korn front man Jonathan Davis claimed Miley Cyrus was distracting the American public so Barack Obama could implement his plan to become a tyrannical dictator. At the very least, she was distracting America from paying attention to Korn. — Source

30

Michelle Obama

MICHELLE OBAMA did not murder Joan Rivers CRACKED.COM Professional wackjob Alex Jones reported that Joan Rivers was spreading the word that the First Lady was actually a man. The angry Obamas, according to Jones, decided to take Joan out. Rivers' actual cause of death: A medically induced coma. — Source

29

STEPHEN KING did not kill John Lennon CRACKED.COM A Florida man interrupted a town council meeting to lay out an elaborate theory concluding horror writer King murdered Lennon. Mark David Chapman begged to differ. In either case, Jodie Foster was not impressed. — Source

28

STANLEY KUBRICK did not fake the moon landing CRAGKED.COM Filmmaker т. Patrick Murray claimed to interview Kubrick three days before his death, with Stan admitting to perpetuating a huge fraud on the American public. A few problems: Kubrick didn't look or sound like Kubrick. And his widow says the whole thing is made-up jibba jabba. — Source

27

MARILYN MANSON did not play Paul on Wonder Years CRACKED.COM As all Wonder-heads know, Paul was played by the incomparable Josh Saviano. Marilyn Manson's real name was Brian Warner. For the record, Manson did not play Kevin on Mr. Belvedere either. — Source

26

PAM ANDERSON did not have a rib removed for Baywatch GRACKED.COM While Pam may have had other cosmetic procedures, removing a rib wasn't one of them. Others falsely accused of rib removal: Cher, Liz Taylor, Jane Fonda, Racquel Welch, Tori Spelling, Gina Lollobrigida, Stephanie Seymour, Kate Moss, Janet Jackson, and Britney Spears. — Source

25

Jennifer Lopez

JENNIFER LOPEZ did not insure her butt for $27 million CRACKED.COM Not true, Lopez told James Corden on an episode of Carpool Karaoke. And what would butt insurance cover exactly? Something happens to it? Lopez asked. It disappears? Somebody steals it? — Source

24

Gene Simmons

GENE SIMMONS does not have a grafted cow tongue GRACKED.COM The urban legend goes that the KISS rocker had a cow tongue grafted onto his own, creating a super- bovine devil appendage. Not true, says Simmons, though he admits that this is his favorite KISS rumor. — Source

23

Megan Fox

MEGAN FOX is not a Megan Fox clone GRACKED.COM During the height of her Transformers fame, rumors speculated that Fox was being duplicated into several clones that the studios would trade back and forth. For better or worse, Megan Fox technology has not yet reached that level of sophistication. — Source

22

Marisa Tomei

MARISA TOMEI legit won that Oscar CRACKED.COM The rumor: Addled Jack Palance read the wrong name off a teleprompter, giving Tomei an undeserved Academy Award. The story was persistent enough that the Academy and Price Waterhouse have gone on the record that the right gal got the Oscar. — Source

21

Halle Berry

HALLE BERRY does not have six toes CRACKED.COM I want to set straight, Berry told Extra. So many people think I have six toes. I do not have six toes. (Note that she does not deny having seven toes.) — Source

20

THE CONSPIRACY: J.K. Rowling doesn't exist. THE THEORY: The story of Harry Potter, and her own story of redemption, are just too good to be true. She's an actor fronting for a team of writers. — Source

19

THE CONSPIRACY: Britney was a paid Bush operative. CRACKED. .COM THE THEORY: She broke up with к Fed right before a midterm election; she was paid to distract the American people! — Source

18

THE CONSPIRACY: Khloé is O.J.'s daughter. SHOTOR SYCLES PLAY MOY CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: Kris Jenner, famously the wife of Simpson's lawyer, claims she had an affair with O.J. in the '80s. — Source

17

THE CONSPIRACY: Britney and Justin are clones. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: The couple were in a car accident just before ...Baby One More Time dropped. Brit was killed, and Justin was left in a coma, so they brought in the clones. — Source

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16

Eminem

THE CONSPIRACY: The Illuminati killed Eminem (because he wouldn't join their club) CRACKED COM THE THEORY: Не took 5 years to follow up Encore because he was busy getting murdered and recreated by a slighted secret society. — Source

15

THE CONSPIRACY: Kurt Cobain was killed by his own guitar. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: Не learned to play on a left-handed guitar, which exacerbated his scoliosis, causing the chronic pain that led him down his dark path. — Source

14

THE CONSPIRACY: Hitler was Hitler because of bad potty training. CRACKED COM THE THEORY: Hitler's mother poop shamed him, causing an anal fixation, which made him become obsessed with cleansing. — Source

13

Avril Lavigne

THE CONSPIRACY: Avril Lavigne's body double took over her life. Naturally 4 CRACKED COM THE THEORY: When we saw Lavigne go from a goth phase to a... slightly different goth phase, she had actually died, her body double swooping in to pick up where Avril left off. — Source

12

THE CONSPIRACY: JFK is still alive (and consulting for other presidents). CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: The assassination attempt was real, but he survived, with a few mental hiccups. He's living out his days giving advice to other U.S. presidents and hanging out with an also-alive Marilyn Monroe. — Source

11

Jay-Z

THE CONSPIRACY: Jay-Z's Roc-A-Fella diamond is Illuminati imagery. GRAGKED.COM THE THEORY: Okay, sure, everybody's in the Illuminati. But Jay-Z has gone so far as to trademark the hand signal. Cui bono?? — Source

10

The Katy Perry Conspiracy

THE CONSPIRACY: Katy Perry is JonBenet. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: Perry is a mere 6 years older than JonBenet, and their parents look kinda similar. You connect the dots. — Source

9

THE CONSPIRACY: Tom Cruise holds wife auditions. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: Не was so powerful by the time of his third marriage that he auditioned Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba before giving the part to Katie Holmes. — Source

8

THE CONSPIRACY: Michael Jackson's death was a distraction orchestrated by Iran. GRACKED GOM THE THEORY: How better to keep Americans from meddling in Ahmadinejad's dubious reelection, than by killing their biggest pop star? — Source

7

THE CONSPIRACY: Bob Marley was killed as a warning to other reggae artists. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: The CIA was working to take out the Jamaican prime minister, and the reggae community knew too much. — Source

6

THE CONSPIRACY: Bill Hicks didn't die; he just became Alex Jones. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: The CIA kidnapped him and turned him into a right-wing propaganda machine. — Source

5

THE CONSPIRACY: Michael Jackson was chemically castrated. GRACKED COM THE THEORY: Не was prescribed a powerful acne drug at the age of 12 that caused his body to fend off puberty. — Source

4

THE CONSPIRACY: Steve Jobs is hanging out in Egypt. Mike Sington @MikeSington Steve Jobs is discovered alive and living in Egypt! CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: This 2018 picture is of Steve Jobs kickin' it in a plastic lawn chair. Case closed! — Source

3

Miley Cyrus

THE CONSPIRACY: Disney assassinated Miley Cyrus. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: Miley wanted a childhood, but Disney wanted money. So they offed her and readied the next clone. — Source

2

THE CONSPIRACY: Biggie and Tupac are hanging in New Zealand. CRACKED.COM THE THEORY: The rivals put their differences aside, faked their own deaths, and moved to a resort town together. — Source

1

THE CONSPIRACY: Stevie Wonder can see. GRAGKED.COM THE THEORY: Не likes basketball, and once caught a falling mic stand: two things typical of the sighted! — Source

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