26 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, January 12, 2024

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26 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, January 12, 2024

Q: This Oscar-winning actress has applied for Jeopardy! every June but has yet to appear on the show.
A: Who is Emma Stone?

Now entering the final stretch toward a potential second Oscar, the Poor Things actress spoke to Variety’s Awards Circuit podcast about her dream to play her way through the iconic game show. But she was very clear that she wants nothing to do with the Celebrity edition — Stone wants to “earn (her) stripes” in the classic version of the show. To prepare for her dream potentially becoming a reality, the actress watches the show daily and tracks her answer rate. If there’s any justice in this world, Stone will one day have the opportunity to share an absurd personal anecdote, clicker in hand, as a contestant. 

Meanwhile, there’s a show that Kevin Hart wants nothing to do with. The comedian doubled down on his anti-Oscars hosting stance and explained why he will never helm the ceremony. Hart told Sky News that award shows “just aren’t comedy-friendly environments” and that the job isn’t a “good gig” for comics like himself. He went on to say that the show should remain a “collaborative thing” with “a bunch of personalities acting as the hosts.” Ironically, Hart was the reason for the hostless Oscars in 2019 as the would-be host stepped down from the gig after a series of homophobic tweets resurfaced. 

Hart’s comments come in the wake of Jo Koy’s disastrous performance at the Golden Globes and joins a cadre of comedians coming out in support of Koy. But what Hart and these other comedians fail to realize is that there’s more than enough room for a comic on such stages — they just have to be funny.  

Speaking of which, given how funny it’s been lately, the timeline very well may contain the next Oscar host. Today’s most hilarious tweets include those about the rough side of town, an ode to “boss” women and a tax refund you won’t be able to spend in one place. 

good reddit @GoodReddit - 1d ... r/AskReddit u/sheerduckinghubris 18h what are the worst accents you've ever heard? 286 1,741 Comments UnrulySimian 17h In 5th and 6th grade (this was the 70s) my best friend had a Greek Father, a British mother - and spent the first 8 years of his life growing up in the Bronx. Never heard anything like it before or since. Reply 776 86 3,804 111K 3.7M

skin destroyer @gloomingly.16h Graduated from i did not finished scool. March 3, 1980 Share 2 272 3,303 75.8K

@storylinefever. dd ... is this normal Your neopet killed someone Inbox x from: admin@neopets.com to me After starvation. abandonment. and years of neglect. Your neopet killed someone. Reply Forward 19 2,248 21.7K 519K

the vibe formerly known as ju... 4 22h ... Went to the dispensary and asked for the weed that makes you feel like spongebob and not like youre in trouble at school and they actually had it 47 3,782 59.1K 2.6M

emilio @emilio_oilime 20h White Noise Baby Sleep to headline Coachella day 2 POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d Clean White Noise - Loopable with no fade by White Noise Baby Sleep has reached 1.5 BILLION streams on Spotify. 2 122 4.3K 145K

chels @criggarettes.1 14h idk how to flirt i done called this bitch big dog 37 3.1K 37K 1.2M

salah moustafa (Avaliable For Work) @SalahM... . 1d ... Im fighting demons Layer 699 Layer 693 Layer 705 fx 246 5.7K 67K 1.5M

GOJO FANS INTERNATIONAL @leefIrt . 23h gimme my shit. eos evolution of smooth® shea better 24H Moisture BODY LOTION 37 1.2K 15K 243K

sean @DilettanteryPodd the 420 sign attracts local thieving normies, but the 419.99 sign tempts the most passionate sign connoisseurs from around the globe Historic Vids @historyinmemes.1 1d Colorado's Interstate 70 has a mile marker 419.99 instead of 420 due to repeated thefts of the original 420 mile marker sign. MILE MILE OTN A1 .99 17 1.6K 38K 1M

ian @grlyteengrl. 1d are u one month old ... H @PISCESPRADA. 2d they raised me I JOHN . MIEL I STACEY BA PHILIP Jacob ELORDI Dagmara DOMINCZYK DANIELS POSTER NICOLE PRISCILLA TAMARA DEVERELL PRESLEY HENLEY RANDALL BRIGHT OCOOMS YOUREE CHRIS HATCHER I - PRESLEY ELVIS ROMAN COPPOLA I SANDRA MI E MUNCH PRODUCT DESA 1 COURTNEY I SOLA COPPOLA PHOENIX Prisci AND WINONA RYDER ANGELINA JOLIE GIRL, INTERRUPTED MARIA ANTON MARIA ANTONIETA 10 906 45K 1.2M

Hispanic Shaun King @okimstillhungry 1d You know what would impress your wife? If you cooked her a meal on a stove. r/pics + Posted by u/lilblacksmurf 14h i.redd.it 1 6 1 2 7 5 1 1 1 1 S 2 3 1 147 1 138 2 1 118 3 1 1 120 I need someone to appreciate this... My wife was unimpressed. Ziplec CONTAIN THE CLUTTER TU 20 BAR .OR Facts ZER 140 Calories callg MIC GoGo 40 it LLA Bag Unbeatable On-The-Go se - CHIPS Grip'n Seal E TRAIL MIX Ziploc 20 POUCH VALUE PACK adidas CLEAN the Little Bites .in

kivvvvvvv You fucking the worker don't lie. @oohthatsKivia•23h JP Chipotle never fails me @lostfilesjp.2 23h LEMBA JU BRO onounce Chipoties CHIPOTLE / WE LISTED THEM НЫ MEXICAN GRILL 22 PICK UP & DELIVERY 485 11K 154K 7.6M

frog friend @poophonkfart - 1 1d downtown is so scary!!! Downtown: AYSTATION LOBBY FIRST AVENUE EPSi STATION 10 STATION 3.7K 57K 1.6M 110

Jordan Freiman @JordanFreiman 22h ... Rebecca Fishbein @bfishbfish . 23h I got free stamps from Stamps dot com in the mail and it made my whole day. Not an ad for Stamps dot com, just an ad for depression!!! 2 58 1.1K 63K

@rm1ni 16h I just don't like them @rm1ni.20h 3 likes and l'll explain why i don't take care of my kids 368 2.1K 14K del 1.1M

@toxikfelloff. 14h scotty TOP ur in her dms i am too bro she's a tough one ain't she 93 3.1K 20K del 620K

m @geniepush 21h ... I just busted out laughing Amiya, congrats on your $0 refund Thanks for choosing us to help you get back every dollar you deserve. 115 1.1K 24K 476K

bruna @jjshules 23h ... guys there's nothing else i'm crying ^ Personal life She is bisexual.  69 4.2K 62K 1.7M

perfect angel @girl_virus 1d ... bitch what the fuck What are you feeling today? Calm Creamy Fatigue 75 3.1K 48K 1.3M

welp. @YSLONIKA 22h ICON Marily Araceli 14 hours ago I hate porn that starts off fucking I need to know why they fuckin 11 11 2 1 126 2.2K 17K 682K

personal anatomical @collnsmith. 17h ... Me staring at a low res Google image result for ten seconds on the off-chance it will become clearer 8 135 2.1K 50K

@CUNTCERBBY 22h I wanna be in a relationship but not everyday DAMN! 100 100 100 10 53 3.5K 22K 655K

Rob Humanick @rhumanick•1 1d ... When you name your theater the County, you have to be prepared for this to happen once in a while. FUNTY I THE BOYS IN THE BOAT 2POOR THINGS 3 HERON 4 HOLDOVERS 5 MAESTRO WE REACHED OUR FUNDRAISING GOAL THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING YOUR FAVORITE NONPROFIT THEATER 36 1,523 30.2K 1M

defleppardfan94 @lemonade... 22h ... i love when old dudes call their wife the boss. like thats so true 23 2,541 27.3K du 500K

kpg @notoriouskpg. dd Stephen A Smith @step... 1d Today is the day I finally speak my mind about that no good fat bastard. You know who I'm talking about. ... 25 2,564 28.6K 2.4M

D. @MissSneed 20h ... after you eat the food, it don't even taste that good, you $35-40 poorer, and you just be disgusted with yourself Micch @ESFMicch 1d that post doordash clarity is crazy 172 14.6K 116K del 5.4M

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