24 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of January 1, 2024

She really doesn’t leave the lizard alone…
24 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of January 1, 2024

The first week of 2024 has been eventful to say the least: People are bursting at the seams to take a peek at one particular little black book, Jeremy Allen White stripped down to his bare essentials, and just mere days into the New Year, we already have our first Hollywood breakup. In a profile by VarietyBenny Safdie confirmed that he and his brother Josh have seen their “natural progression” play out, and the duo has officially dissolved. The Uncut Gems directors were set to reunite with Adam Sandler for a project also starring Megan Thee Stallion, which has since been indefinitely put on the back burner. 

As the penultimate episode of Benny’s Nathan Fielder and Emma Stone-led series The Curse fast approaches, he’s looking forward to exploring more of his creative “freedom” through his upcoming sports drama The Smashing Machine with A24 and Dwayne Johnson. Safdie has also spent some time in front of the camera recently with scene-stealing roles in Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret and Oppenheimer.  

As film bros everywhere process such devastating news, the timeline has supplied the laughs to lift their spirits. This week’s funniest tweets included those about a moviegoing experience straight out of It’s Always Sunny, the feminine urge to shelter 100 shampoo bottles and an ineffective anti-smoking campaign.

agapé! @agapethamar- 1d ... stopped watching a show 3 years ago because a beloved character died and i started watching it again. tell me why the person who died came back to life the next episode... C From heebie jeebies era 86 1,074 31.7K 1.3M
ariel @webbyheart. 1d everytime i talk about my birds age HES HORRIBLE HES LIKE A CHILD how old is heee 9:35 PM he's 43 this year! 9:36PM 1 new message come again? 9:36PM 286 5,507 130K 3.1M
josé @dotjjpg - 1d good morning 000 cool Im here on home depot 10:16 AM Nice Cruising? Lol jk jk 10:16 AM uff no jajajaja Im sell tamales wiht me cousin 10:17 AM 158 1,596 25.5K 1M
Jamie @jami0mckay 5h ... It is the 7 year anniversary of the most beautifully written paragraph in the history of the English language. looks ok 6 years ago I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone 56 ^ Reply 18 1,298 17.4K 498K
Kit Kat ((commissions open)) @kittischmitti • 12h Communism is when you are the biggest corporate monopoly on the planet Knights of Melvin @KnightsofMelvin - 1d Cancel @DisneyPlus COMMUNIST + Disney + PIXAR + MARVEL STAR + + NATIONAL WARS GEOGRAPHIC 103 3.6K 65K 1.1M
Zoë (microplastics enjoyer arc) @PunishedZoe • 1d ... Imao brought my innocent sibling to a New Year's party and they immediately texted me this Today 1:59 AM This isn't a party this is just people doing drugs Let's go home 59 2K 42K 995K
@halomancer1. 5d jenny_tightpants A everyone wants to shit talk things as being reddit until they need product recommendations from a community of people who's autistic hyperfixation is that particular product 61 1.6K 28K 740K
Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy 1d I am woman, watch me fit 94 bottles of shampoo and 15 different body washes on my shower ledge 13 143 1.4K 46K
@untilib1eedout. 1d ... Idgaf about typos I'm gonn press send and it's up to you to decode that 10 788 3.1K 108K
juniper @junibomber. 1d would YOU sniff the vintage Blockbuster poppers ? - - - were company - I KID I - any 4 - - - - UM - - are with MBC السود the was - BLOCKBUSTER® VHS HEAD CLEANER WET SYSTEM T I t I I I I I 316K 5.1K 596 38
The Black Supreme Kai @BlackSupremeKai. 1d ... Не got that SHIT ON Figen @TheFigen_ .2d A Kudu with its unique beauty. 161 13K 170K 8.1M
JoelCooz Cusumano @blameaspartame.22h ... me at the 20-something year olds' party last night 7 20 285 32K
body pillow enthusiast @dmndeyes 1d I don't smoke nor do I condone smoking cigarettes but these animals look undeniably badass It Looks Just As Stupid When You Do It Minnesota Department of Health 2.1K 121 27K 576K
JUST ALEX (e/acc) @testaccountoki - 1d ... wife wanted me to share this Do you sleep with your bedroom door closed? According to experts, you really shouldn't IH Ideal Home - 2d 83 5.1K 66K 1.6M
dean @deansartistry 1d Gypsy Rose after taking the D C 0:03 From reaction encyclopedia 228 1.7K 21K 852K
@lat3nlght. 1d ... first week living with gay non-binary roommate and i'm now seated in the ER at 4 AM because they took a drug i've never heard of and started passing out GIF 49 523 12K 758K
kristen (not crystal) yellowjackets shish-kabo... 15h ... gillian anderson and david duchovny VILL mariana @pastapilled.20h real 7 204 3.5K del 181K
horse dentist @equine_dentist. 1d ... a lot of you live here DUMB WOMAN'S LANE 24 992 12K 380K
girl dennis reynolds @paddysroyco. 1d charlie kelly bailey moon @Baileymoon15 - 3 3d bad night for my friend who tried to sneak spaghetti into the movies NEON bruh i forgot my fork in the car 2 seanbagel 7:57 PM 3 174 4.3K 185K
with elise! @moonagedemon 20h : studio an of off or the ght A on . pint safdies broke up text him NOWWWWW - es LA elise! @moonagedemon 1d letterboxd is down text him NOW 3 260 5.1K del 699K
mr. normal and calm @shoegays 21h just saw a guy wearing an online ceramic shirt fall to his knees in this natural wine bar 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .21h Benny Safdie confirms The Safdie Brothers have split. It's a natural progression of what we each want to explore. I will direct on my own, and I will explore things that I want to explore. I want that freedom right now in my life. (Source: variety.com/2024/tv/news/b...) movies 1 57 1.4K 65K
kelly @BoyYeetsWorld.1d uber driver asked me for my name and hobbies so he could do a freestyle rap about me while driving then played shark tank in the car when he was done. i've never given a higher tip in my life. 420be Rue - - - - 5:30 : Audio Volume de Shark Tunk 107 WLSDI AUDIO a SISEpa Ephode CAR Select Device RAND II SETUP 11 910 28.1K 468K
Cort @bonillacortne. 21h ... Me walking into Brandy Melville at 30 HOLLYWOO LOS ANGELE ALIFORNIA C/L FORNI 00 LOS AN ER the MARA will GOLDEN STAT L1 FOI R N GOLDEN STA VE H LLYWOOD 0.00 LISU JA IA 13 539 10.1K 319K
kelbin @pissboymcgee.2 23h we want to see you wrestle dinosaurs @Discu... 23h 4F DiscussingFilm Dwayne Johnson says with his new A24 film, he's at a point where I want to make films that matter, that explore humanity, struggle & pain I'm at this point where I want more. I don't mean I want more box office. I mean I want more humanity. (Source: variety.com/2024/tv/ news/b...) A24 141 3,227 81.7K 7.3M
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