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36 Bits of Trivia That Would Sound Like the Ravings of a Madman to Your Ancestors

January 12, 2024

How long do you think it would take to read every fact in the history of facts back-to-back? We started by reading these 36 out loud, but our roommate shut that down since apparently it’s interrupting game night with his friends. Look, Gary, it’s not our fault that you have an active social life! Now, back to the facts…

36

CHEVY CHASE DROVE SLOWASEN.DS-3HL-ONI-39 CHRIS COLUMBUS TO QUIT CHRISTMAS VACATION. GRACKED.COM After shooting a few second unit scenes, director Chris Columbus met with Chevy Chase, after which Columbus walked away from the project. Columbus remarked, To be completely honest, Chevy treated me like dirt. If the term being Chevy Chased away doesn't exist, it needs to. — Source

35

BEHIND-THE-SCENESPACTS THE MAIN CAST OF SEINFELD HATED WORKING WITH THE ACTRESS THAT PLAYED SUSAN, LEADING TO HER BEING KILLED OFF. GRACKED COM Heidi Swedberg was, by all accounts, a lovely person, but the cast had a hard time getting in sync with her on the show. After Julia Louis-Dreyfus shared some screentime with Swedberg, she remarked to Larry David, Don't you want to just kill her? — Source

34

Jason Segel wrote a DRACULA PUPPET MUSICAL in real life. In his early twenties, Segel wrote songs for the super serious musical. WHEN НЕ PLAYED SOME OF THE SONGS TO JUDD APATOW, НЕ WAS TOLD TO NEVER EVER PLAY IT FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING AGAIN. BEHIND THE SCENES | FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL CRACKED.COM — Source

33

This Is fininal Tap Ozzy Osbourne thought Spinal Tap was a real band. GRACKED GOM One of the many people who didn't catch that the whole thing was a joke was The Prince of Darkness himself. When he figured out what was going on, he said They seemed quite tame compared to what we got up to. — Source

32

The studio wanted Ron Livingston to be skinny as hell. CRACKED.COM Fox execs assigned him a 90's version of the Chris Pratt workout regimen leading up to his screen test. Не spent a weekend jumping rope, and got about halfway through the fast they recommended. — Source

31

BEHINO-THE-SCENES SFACTS That was a helluva throw from UNCLE RICO GRACKED.COM Не actually nailed bike-riding Napoleon in the face with Kip's steak. The impact gave Heder two black eyes that you can see in multiple scenes. The steak fling is especially impressive considering actor Jon Gries is a vegan. — Source

30

CRACKED NO ONE HAS EVER ACTUALLY DISCOVERED DARK MATTER. But we know it has to be there for the gravitational pull of the galaxies to exist. — Source

29

CRACKED SCIENCE SAYS MUSICIANS ACTUALLY ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN. A new study finds women were far more sexually attracted to musical talent, while men were only a little bit. — Source

28

CRACKED THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAS A LOT OF GROSS REMAINS OF HOLY PEOPLE. Including the head of St. Catherine of Siena, who was famous for treating the sick and encouraging peace within Italy. (Also, for suggesting a crusade against Muslim people.) — Source

27

CRACKED THE FRESHWATER SNAIL IS ONE OF THE DEADLIEST ANIMALS ON EARTH. Snaill carry a parasite that can give humans bilharzia, a deadly pee-blood disease that kills 200,000 people each year. — Source

26

CRACKED 1.5 MILLION FEET OF FILM WAS USED FOR STEP BROTHERS. It was so much that Kodak sent over champagne as a thank you. — Source

25

CRACKED 9/11 CAUSED 164 SONGS TO BE BANNED FROM THE RADIO. Including Walk Like An Egyptian by the Bangles, because it vaguely references the Middle East. — Source

24

Traffic

CRACKED TRAFFIC IS LITERALLY ROTTING YOUR BRAIN. New studies show a direct link between air pollution and general cognition. — Source

23

CRACKED SEINFELD WAS BRIEFED ON WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT AGAINST OBAMA. For Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, Seinfeld was only allowed to drive with the president on the White House grounds. To actually get the coffee, they had to be driven in Obama's bulletproof motorcade. — Source

22

Hugs not Drugs

LÓPEZ OBRADOR'S SOLUTION TO THE OPIOID CRISIS: MORE HUGS AND CUDDLES. Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador thinks that the opioid crisis in the U.S. is due to people not getting enough hugs and cuddles from their families. CRACKED — Source

21

SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE A LOT OF MONEY DOWN THE DRAIN. The UK government has put aside £900 million to build a super-powerful computer that can do more than a billion billion calculations every second, so they can get their own AI system called BritGPT. CRACKED — Source

20

AT LEAST НЕ TOOK TO HEART THE LESSON THAT HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. Marek Hecko, a 26-year-old British man, was given a life sentence after he went back to the place where he had committed a murder and told the police what had happened while he was really drunk. CRACKED — Source

19

CANADIAN SHOCKED BY BEING CALLED REDNECK HICK IN HIS WORKER'S COMP FILE. In March 2023, a Canadian a was shocked to find out that his physiotherapist had written really mean things about him in his worker's compensation file. They called him a redneck hick, and made other insulting comments about his injuries. CRACKED — Source

18

OCTOPUSES NEED LOVE TOO, BUT APPARENTLY THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH REGULATIONS. Scientists are worried about the well- being of octopuses due to the lack of regulations for the first ever octopus farm. These creatures are known for their intelligence, so it's important to make sure they're taken care of, they say. CRACKED — Source

17

75-YEAR-OLD CAUGHT RED-HANDED LOOKING AT CHILD PORN. A 75-year-old man in Gainesville, Georgia was taken into custody after deputies discovered he was looking at pictures of child pornography on his computer-while they were searching his house for child pornography. CRACKED — Source

16

SENATOR DRAZKOWSKI: HUNGRY? NEVER HEARD OF IT. Steve Drazkowski, a senator from Minnesota, voted against a plan to give students free lunch at school, saying he hasn't met anyone in the state who was hungry. CRACKED — Source

15

Silicon Valley Bank HIRING SENIOR MANAGERS OF FINANCIAL CRIMES ONE DAY, CLOSED DOWN THE NEXT. Silicon Valley Bank put up an ad for a Senior Manager of Financial Crimes on the same day that the government closed it down. CRACKED — Source

14

TALIBAN FIGHTERS: FROM FIGHTING TO FILING - AND NOW THEY'RE FED UP. Taliban fighters who have gone from fighting on the front lines to working in government offices in Kabul are getting tired of the boring office life, and are thinking about quitting. CRACKED — Source

13

JOE EXOTIC: FROM TIGER KING TO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE (IN PRISON). Joe Exotic, also known as the Tiger King, said he's running for president in 2024 while he's in prison for trying to hire someone to kill someone and for breaking wildlife laws. CRACKED — Source

12

The bicycle was invented because of a famine that killed many horses. In 1816, climate abnormalities led to food shortages, and horses died or were slaughtered for meat - which created demand for a new way to get around. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

The International Latex Corporation's seamstresses made the Apollo 11 spacesuits. NICE That company, AKA Playtex, had specialized in latex girdles and bras, but decided to branch out into pressurized space suits, thinking it'd be profitable. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Textbooks

Textbooks are now about 1,000% more expensive than they were in the '70s. As a result, The College Board now tells students they should budget a total of $1,200 per year for course materials including books. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

M*A*S*H actor Wayne Rogers just waltzed off the show, because he could. When he decided to leave, the studio tried to sue him for breach of contract - but then found out he'd never signed a contract anyway. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Michael Jordan really did wear UNC practice shorts under his jersey during games. It's not just a random bit from Space Jam - apparently, concealing those shorts was why he started wearing baggy shorts in the Chicago Bulls. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

There's a woman who pretty much lived the story of 50 First Dates in real life. Michelle Philpots, from the UK, is stuck in 1994 and can't form new memories, so she has to relearn everything every day (and sometimes, even more often). CRACKED.COM — Source

6

The famous Nickelodeon slime is actually made up of delicious ingredients. It's a mix of oatmeal, applesauce, vanilla pudding, and green food coloring - so, although it looks vile, it'd be totally safe to eat. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

Rob Lowe's Ancestor

CRACKED ROB LOWE'S ANCESTOR WAS HIRED TO KILL GEORGE WASHINGTON. His 5th great-grandfather Christoph Oste was a German soldier hired by the British, and in a direct battle with Washington, his regiment was captured. Не survived and later became a tax-paying American. — Source

4

CRACKED MATT LUCAS' CONNECTION TO ANNE FRANK. His grandmother's cousin Werner Goldschmidt lived with Anne Frank's family, and is even mentioned in her famous diary. Lucas read the diary years earlier, never realizing this Mr. Goldschmidt was his relative. — Source

3

CRACKED TIA AND TAMARA MOWRY'S ANCESTOR WAS AT THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. Their 13th great-grandparents William and Mary Bruster were on the Mayflower. William was the ruling elder, who led the prayer at the first Thanksgiving with the indigenous people. IMAGE AWA S НЕ 43RD NAACP MAGE AWARDS THE 43R MA NA — Source

2

CRACKED DAME JUDI DENCH'S CONNECTION TO SHAKESPEARE. As a Shakespearean actor, her first ever role was as Ophelia in Hamlet. The play is set in Denmark's Elsinore castle (where Ophelia lived), and Dench's 10x great-aunt was a lady-in-waiting to the Queen of Denmark in that very castle. BFI LON FESTIVA — Source

1

CRACKED OLYMPIC ROWER MATTHEW PINSENT IS A DIRECT DESCENDANT OF GOD. The 4x gold medalist traced his lineage to King Edward I. That medieval scroll showed that the royals linked themselves to the divine, because the lineage kept going back to Jesus, Adam & Eve, then God at the tippy top. 000S — Source

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