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34 Ridiculous Myths Some Absolute Buffoons Might Go an Entire Lifetime Believing

Here! Learn these real fast, then immediately judge the people who didn’t!

34 Ridiculous Myths Some Absolute Buffoons Might Go an Entire Lifetime Believing

November 01, 2023

Hey, everybody! This guy still believes that only 300 Spartans defended the pass of the Thermopylae! We just learned that that wasn’t the case about 10 seconds ago, so ha! It’s just that 300 is a much better movie title than 7,000. And in this guy’s defense, there were 300 Spartans. They just happened to be joined by a bunch of other groups which, all tallied up, amounted to about 7,000 Greeks.

Whew! That was a close one. You can see how myths and misconceptions get perpetuated, right? Well, perpetuate no more! The buck stops here!

34

Camels' Humps Store Water CRACKED.COM Unfortunately, no, camels aren't built like some sort of weird living Super Soaker. Their humps are filled with regular old fat. It's their unique blood cells that let them store more water than other animals. Also, Joe Camel isn't real, and they HATE cigarettes. — Source

33

YOU WOULD USE CPR, NOT PADDLES, IF SOMEONE FLATLINED Defibrillation is used when someone is experiencing rapid heart contractions. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

DON'T SUCK VENOM OUT OF A BITE Sucking out poison can contaminate the wound and damage nerves or blood vessels. You may also harm yourself. CRACKED.COM — Source

31

A SILENCER DOESN'T WORK LIKE IN THE MOVIES A silencer muffles the sound of gunshot, only comparitively. It's much louder than the noise that is used for movies. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

MYTH Hyenas are only scavengers who rely on lions to kill for them. TRUTH Hyenas are great hunters who are more likely to have their hunt stolen from them by a lion. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

CHLOROFORM TAKES 5 MINUTES TO TAKE EFFECT. Unlike in action movies, you can't just use a towel over someone's face to knock them unconscious. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

NEANDERTHALS WERE NOT DIM-WITTED. They were capable of complex thought, communication, and sophisticated technology. And they bred with modern humans. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

CRACKED Lactic acid makes your muscles-sore after a workout. Lactic acid build-up is actually a natural defense mechanism. The soreness is caused by damage to the muscle cells and an increase in the release of different metabolites into the tissue around the muscle cells. — Source

26

CRACKED Milk is good for your bones. It's a myth that drinking milk can stop you from getting bone fractures or osteoporosis. In fact, if you drink a lot of dairy products when you're a teenager, you might be more likely to get bone fractures when you're older. — Source

25

CRACKED Sugar makes you-hyper. It's been a long-held belief that eating too much sugar can make kids hyperactive, but science has found no clear proof of this. That said, it's possible sugar can still affect behavior in other ways, like changing how certain brain chemicals are made. — Source

24

Taste Myths

Taste receptors are neatly grouped. We often think that the taste receptors for salty, sweet, bitter and sour are only located in certain parts of the tongue, but that's not true. Actually, these receptors are spread out all over the tongue. CRACKED — Source

23

A bunch of pee snowflakes out there

Urine is sterile. It's a myth that pee is totally clean. In reality, even healthy people have some bacteria in their urine. CRACKED — Source

22

You Use 10% Of Your Brain CRACKED.COM This fact, a favorite of blacklight poster owners everywhere, isn't true. Though the neurons that actually do the thinking make up only 10% of your brain, the other 90% of white matter is very much active... and required. If you don't believe us, try removing it!* *please don't. — Source

21

Being Cold Causes Colds GRACKED.COM Your parents would have you think a puffer jacket is your last line of defense against the common cold. The common cold is a virus, and a lack of mittens has nothing to do with getting infected. Licking frozen telephone poles? Still not recommended. — Source

20

Diamonds From Coal CRACKED.COM If you compress coal for a very long time under high pressure, eventually, you will waste an incredible amount of time. Diamonds form from a separate process that has nothing to do with coal, much deeper below ground. — Source

19

Ancient Flat Earth Beliefs CRACKED.COM We like to think that people have only known the earth was round since Columbus didn't fall off. But the Greeks not only knew it, they even calculated its circumference. Which means flat-earthers could travel to 500 BC and still be considered dumb. — Source

18

Goldfish Memories i i saw everything officer CRACKED.COM You'll hear that someone has the memory of a goldfish, the most common number being 3 seconds. But studies found that goldfish could learn and identify two different songs, which a 3-second memory would make impossible. Keep that in mind, crime bosses installing huge fish tanks. — Source

17

Gum Takes Years To Digest GRACKED.COM According to your mom, that stick of Big Red you swallowed during your AP test might still be in your stomach come college graduation. But the human body is a highly evolved system that has failsafes in place: namely, you'll just @#$# it out. — Source

16

MYTH: CONDOMS ARe 98% eFFeCTIve. FACT: THeY'Re JUST 82% eFFeCTIve OVERALL. They're 98% effective at preventing pregnancy when used perfectly. That means examining condoms for faults, squeezing the tip, using the right lube, and removing it while still erect. Factor in errors, and the failure rate jumps from 2% to 18%. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

Crime Myths

MYTH: Want to get away with murder? Plead insanity. FACT: That's not a Get Out of Jail Free card. The Insanity Defense is attempted in less than one percent of all legal cases, and the defense is successful less than 25 percent of the time. Three states in the US don't even allow insanity as a defense. If the plea succeeds, you don't get to just go home. You get sent to a mental institution where you don't have a set sentence at all. They keep you as long as they see fit, which may be forever. CRACKED.COM http://www.pbs.arg/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/crime/trial/faqs.html — Source

14

Opossums

MYTH Opossums sleep upside down and hanging by their tails. TRUTH Only baby opossums can support their weight with their tail...and only for a few seconds. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Medieval Lifespan i'm fine CRACKED.COM No, medieval people didn't all die before the age of 40. The average lifespan from that time is just that: an average. One that's heavily skewed by high child mortality rates. Plenty of people lived well past 30, allowing them to fully appreciate Steely Dan. — Source

12

MYTH: DOGS BE DON'T SWEAT. CRACKED.COM Dogs primarily use panting to cool down, by letting water evaporate from their tongue and nasal passageways, but they do have sweat glands. Although dispersed across a dog's body, the sweat glands in their feet are the only ones that are known to actively sweat. — Source

11

Lobster Monogamy

MYTH Lobsters are monogamous. TRUTH Female lobsters spend up to two weeks with a mate. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Death By Penny Drop agh GRACKED.COM No, dropping a penny off the Empire State Building won't kill someone, 6th grade bully on a field trip. Thanks to drag, that penny would top out at 25 miles per hour. Real New Yorkers know it's the lazily installed window A/C units you have to look out for. — Source

9

MYTH: YOUNG SINGLES ARE CONSTANTLY GETTING LAID. FACT: HALF OF YOUNG SINGLES HAD no sex in THE PAST YEAR. Meanwhile, 50 percent of young married couples report having sex two or three times per week. And over 75 percent of senior citizens report being sexually active, and a current epidemic of STDs among the elderly seems to back this up. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

MYTH: MICROWAVE COOKING DESTROYS THE nuTRIenTS in FOOD. 8 8:8 8 - - Start UNA FACT: ACTUALLY, IT PRESERVES THem. Because microwave cooking often consists of less heat and shorter cooking times than more conventional cooking methods, it actually does the least amount of damage to the nutrients in your foods. CRACKED.COM http //www.health.harvard. edu/staying-healthy/microwave-cooking-and-nutrition — Source

7

MYTH: TWINKIES WILL LAST FOREVER, GUYS! EXPIRATION DATE: NEVER FACT: THEY ACTUALLY LAST ABOUT A monTH. The urban legend goes that Twinkies aren't made of real ingredients, and because of that they will last for over 20 years. The truth is that they contain flour, sugar, corn syrup, water, shortening, and eggs. Just like a regular cake. On top of that, they contain additives to make them moister and extend their shelf life-to about 25 days. CRACKED.COM http://www.snopes com/food/ingredient/twinkies.asp — Source

6

MYTH: BROWN EGGS ARe BeTTeR FOR YOU. FACT: ALL SHeLL COLORS ARe eQUALLY HEALTHY. There's no difference in the nutritional value of eggs based on whether their shells are white or brown. The color is based on the breed of the chicken that laid it. Not only are they equally nutritious, they taste the same. CRACKED.COM http://content time com/time/health/article/0, 8599, ,2002334, 00.html — Source

5

MYTH: FRESH PRODUCE IS HEALTHIER THAN CANNED OR FROZEN. FACT: PRESERVED FOODS HAVE moRe NUTRIENTS. Unless you're harvesting your fruit and vegetables from your own garden, that fresh produce has likely traveled over a distance before landing on your table. During that time, it has lost vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Freezing and canning stops that loss, because it locks the nutrients in. CRACKED.COM http://abcnews.go.com/Health/reasons-buy-frozen-fruits-veggies/story?id=20683879#1 — Source

4

MYTH: DIETING? YOU SHOULD eAT CALORIE- BURNING FOODS. 80 Pd 100 FACT: THERE'S no SUCH THING. So-called negative calorie foods tend to be some sort of fruit or vegetable that supposedly contains fewer calories than it takes to digest it. But the calories your body burns in fueling the digestive cycle are minuscule compared with the calories in the food itself. Even chewing, and even celery. CRACKED.COM content ime.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804 1896439_1896359_1896346,00.html — Source

3

MYTH: TURKEY MAKES YOU SLEEPY. FACT: IT'S THE BIG meAL THAT Does IT. Science-y types will claim that turkey makes you sleepy because it contains tryptophan, which eventually becomes seratonin and melatonin, the sleep neurochemicals. But turkey doesn't contain enough to affect your tiredness level. The reason you're sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner is because your very full body needs to focus on digestion. https://www.washingtonpost.com t.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2014/11/ CRACKED.COM 24/no-turkey-doesnt-make-you-sleepy-the-science-of-thanksgiving-feasts/ — Source

2

MYTH: conception HAPPENS WHen YOU HAVE sex. FACT: IT COULD HAPPEN A week LATER. Sperm survive longer than a week in the reproductive tract. If you have sex at all in the seven days leading up to ovulation, some of that sperm could be making its way up the Fallopian tubes just in time for a new egg to pop in. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

Shaving

MYTH: SHAVING MAKES HAIR GROW B BACK THICKER. CRACKED.COM If shaving made your hair grow back faster and thicker, every teenage boy would look like Paul Bunyan. The reason this myth persists is because hair tapers as it grows, and when you cut it back you see the wider bottom portion. — Source

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