23 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of December 25, 2023

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23 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of December 25, 2023

It was another short week for many of us, but that didn’t stop it from being packed with all sorts of news. Mascots were eaten, the woman at the center of one of the buzziest murder trials in recent history was released from prison and tucked away in the announcement about a production company’s acquisition was the notion that we might be buying and trading Park Place properties on the big screen in the near future. 

On that latter point, Lionsgate announced its acquisition of Entertainment One from Hasbro on Thursday. For the low price of $375 million, it added 6,500 film and television shows to its catalog, including the Nathan Fillion-led procedural The Rookie and New Jersey’s hungriest soccer team in Yellowjackets. The purchase also involved the film and TV rights to the Monopoly brand, which is likely to see some movement given Barbie’s billion-dollar success. The mustachioed man would join the likes of JumanjiClue and Battleship as games that made the jump from board to the screen. 

Per usual, there’s also been no shortage of great tweets this week. The funniest included those about sisterly Christmas love, the White Elephant gift that would taste so good steamed with butter and the myth of the cilantro gene.

dravidian snoopy @styloshka 21h ... after two days of using a chromebooki can confidently say this is the most dystopian piece of technology i've ever used in my life. google needs to be destroyed by the force of the state. demolish their HQ and salt the earth so no such beast can grow again. 153 3,580 49.7K del 1.8M

adderall @thepartyb1tch -2 22h ... CUNT ERA my dads side of the family does a white elephant gift exchange every year and this year someone brought a live fucking lobster PEP PL PCP PSP UZT 32 824 21.2K 682K

zach silberberg @zachsilberberg 1d ... foreverial Follow ... guy at urinal: AHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHUGGGGHHH! guy next to him wearing wraparound shades talking into his Bluetooth: Yeah i'm peeing at a urinal right now. Yeah. The noise is the guy next to me. Yeah, he's peeing too. Yeah. Peeing so hard he's screaming 6 1,578 24K 556K

Lucavi X @lookabee83. 1d he's been sliced 47 3,807 49.8K 1.3M

matt @IraqWarLiker-19h ... There should be an advanced version of Blue's Clues with more complicated clues and darker storylines 82 1,354 18.6K 741K

blue oyster clit @mcdonaldsk....1 18h ... getting wasted and commenting nightmare blunt rotation on everyone's facebook family christmas photos 49 11.6K 118K 3.5M

WedgeBuster @WedgeB... 11h ... Daughter #4 really wrapped this up for daughter #2 to open. 496 13K 154K 5.7M

Kayla Ancrum @KaylaAncr... 1d ... People who are obsessed with Garfield are the Wario of people who are obsessed with Hello Kitty 24 738 7,410 223K

@uncle_unchained-21h ... come on 27 28 29 30 P U S S D H L 31 32 33 E M 34 в A RKON 35 36 37 38 39 40 A L 41 42 43 44 T o P 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 R E N A L 52 53 54 55 D o L E 56 57 58 Y o U R E I T 59 60 61 62 T o Y В o X E S 63 64 65 E N G 66 67 68 N E E R T S o What Santa doesn't

Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp 1d ... me to my mom's tiny dog DUND I like you, but you need to access your uncrazy side. DUNDER adidas 3 445 16.9K 713K

GEPRO stoned cold fox @roastmalone_. 21h ... I'm not making any resolutions, I think it's time for the years to be better, not me. 44 9,907 39.8K du 1.3M

doomer @uncledoomer 1 1d ... no, you do not have a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap. cilantro tastes like soap to everybody. the difference is that you have an underdeveloped palette and that everyone else is cultured enough to have learned to enjoy cilantro's complex, soapy taste 188 1,353 19.5K del 965K

(in)correct star trek @correctrek. 1d ... Tweet Spock @sts_science If we are drinking and I start talking about my father just take me back to my quarters. 9:15 AM 12/26/23 4,970 Retweets 29.2K Likes 2 1,053 10.5K 237K

Invis @invis4yo 14h ... me after 1 margarita 68 3,430 32.8K 1.2M

OBEY @cryst6l . 23h i forget. BUT I DO NOT FORGIVE! i walk around hating bitches can't even remember why 68 11.2K 49.1K 1.6M

Jillian needs a living wage @no_.... 1d ... I give my 11 y/o nephew pastels and within 3 hours of receiving them he's like I call this one 'Imprisoned ?????? Is this from a YouTube tutorial or something or is this kid literally Picasso including the mood disorder 592 11.9K 207K 5.1M

jake @jakebrodes 1d ... last night my fiancé and all her friends watched eras tour movie and sang all the songs and cried while me and the other husbands sat in a cold garage drinking beer and staring at each other listening to black metal and talking about how much an orangutan could deadlift 85 930 26K del 991K

isabella @scarykneegirl - 1 1d hate going home it's always all bella remember when you put diesel in your car remember when you ruined the gas lines of the car you put diesel in remember how the pump isn't made for your car so you stood back and sprayed the diesel in your car at a distance 25 594 20.8K del 606K

Miller Lite Warlord @sabatonf... 21h ... Vapes are kinda like cursed amulets for teens. If you don't believe me just take away your little siblings vape and see how they start to act. Growling and prowling around, throwing couch cushions and shit 37 1,441 22.6K du 599K

lesbian mothman @verysmallri.... 1d ... fell into fitful rest on plane and woke up to this note December 26, 2023 at 9:23AM drag king names lawrence of the labia clit romney tony soprano ALT 39 1,437 22.6K 642K

powerbook g4 @slaymaiden.1 1d Mercari is the wild west Last updated 1d ago 5 comments Last updated 1d ago 5 comments Random calico critter baby Random calico critter baby chosen by my hamster 66 Likes chosen by my hamster 66 Likes $10.00 +$.30 delivery fee $10.00 $4.30 delivery fee 132 8,323 83.5K 2M

John Halo @EpicMasterChief-18h ... reading r/smalldickproblems and r/ bigdickproblems to get both sides of the story 79 3,224 61.6K 2.5M

20h yeaaa @yrs ... charlottan Follow dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think oh a nice drink of water i was parched just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior 21 4,666 57.9K 1.2M
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