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Leave Dane Cook alone!

30 Facts About the Folks Who Hover in Orbit Around Celebrities

December 21, 2023 Add Cracked to Google

Being a celebrity is tough. You’re either a Stan Lee, and you have flatterers and grifters digging into your pockets your entire life, or you’re a Scooter Braun, and your brother will do more good for the world than you ever will with all your hundreds of millions of dollars.

That’s it! Those are the only two types of celebrity. We couldn’t believe it either, but then we saw these facts. Read for yourself…

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30

Paul Reubens

Paul Reubens' dad was a founder of the Israeli Air Force. Milton Rubenfeld was a U.S. Army Air Force stunt pilot during WWII. When the Arab-Israeli War broke out in 1948, Rubenfeld (who was Jewish) aided the tiny Israeli force against five Arab army forces. Today, Rubenfeld and his fellow pilots are credited as the official founders of the Israeli Air Force. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

Paul Giamatti's dad was the commissioner of Major League Baseball. 7 6 Angelo Bartlett Giamatti gave up his academic profession as the president of Yale University to join the baseball big leagues, and in 1988 he became the seventh commissioner of Major League Baseball. Surprisingly, his son Paul doesn't share his love for sports: I'm not a big sports fan, but I like sports movies. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Leslie Nielsen's brother was a Canadian political legend. Erik Nielsen represented the Yukon for three decades as their longest-serving MP. Не went on to become Deputy Prime Minister, championing and defending the First Nations people he represented. Oh and he also earned a Distinguished Flying Cross in World War II. We'd say these are surely impressive accomplishments, but he prefers that we not call him Shirley. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

Kanye West

Kanye West's father was the first black photojournalist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. BLACK PANTHER PARTY Ray West was a Black Panther Party member during the '60s and '70s. A skilled urban photographer, he later worked for the AJC, where he photographed everyone from ordinary citizens to famous figures such as Ronald Reagan and Maya Angelou. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Nick Kroll

Nick Kroll's father recovers dictator plunder. MOFFLY MEDI WICH OIS Z E N E ENV LY MEDIA al Filr NWIC Jules Kroll runs a detective agency that tracks misappropriated money. With 35 offices across the world, he's recovered money from Saddam Hussein, Ferdinand Marcos, and Baby Doc Duvalier. But we're sure he was very impressed when his son told him he'd be playing Professor Poopypants in Captain Underpants. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

Glenn Close

Glenn Close's father helped contain the Ebola outbreak in Zaire. During the '70s, Dr. William T. Close was the personal physician of former DRC President of Mobutu Sese Seko. In 1976, the Ebola virus broke out in the village of Yambuku, and Dr. Close used his connections to round up helping hands and medical equipment, ensuring the containment of the deadly virus. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

Uma Thurman's dad is the first ordained Western Buddhist monk. Robert Thurman met the Dalai Lama in 1962. Years after being ordained, he offered up his robes to finish his studies and teach Indo-Tibetan Buddhism in America. Today he is president of Tibet House U.S. (one of his many positions in Western Buddhist organizations). CRACKED.COM — Source

23

22

Diana Ross' sister was the first African American woman to head a medical school. 1 Barbara Ross-Lee pursued medicine in the '60s, attending one of the few colleges that accepted African Americans. In 1993, she managed to become the first dean of a medical school who was also a woman of color. But sadly, she has yet to have an eccentric musician undergo plastic surgery to look like her. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Chris Hardwick's father was a champion bowler. At 22 years old, Billy Hardwick became the youngest Professional Bowling Association (PBA) Player of the Year. Не went on to win 18 PBA titles, and has been called one of the greatest to ever play the sport. That's a lot of POINTS! CRACKED.COM — Source

20

.... CRACKED COM Keith ... Moore, Sting's financial advisor of 15 years, swindled over $9 million out of him in 1995. 0274576B - ws. - Seoul 74527 В 8T4S ILLOS манаман NATURAL - WSnee D DOLLARS 100 74528 B SENAM ONE OR 00274527 B - Moore had set up 108 accounts for the SET DR 00274573 В singer and siphoned off his money to cater for his own risky investments and twice to settle his own debts. Не was sentenced to six years in prison. 100 F do بر — Source

19

Michael Nesmith

Monkee Michael Nesmith's mother invented Liquid Paper. UID Liq pa con Bette Nesmith Graham created the office staple after the advent of electric typewriters made correcting typos impossible with a simple eraser. Her inspiration? Watching holiday window artists paint over their own mistakes rather than wipe them off. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt's brother helped millions gain access to water. Doug Pitt is an expert in how to effectively drill for clean water, and has worked with a nonprofit organization to bring clean water to almost 2 million people in East Africa. Не was also named the first Goodwill Ambassador for Tanzania, which is objectively a much more important accomplishment than winning an Oscar for acting. Not that his brother would know what that's like, either. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

Brandon Boyd

Incubus frontman Brandon Boyd's father was once the Marlboro Man. Flavoris. Marlian Marbora Chuck Boyd was one of many actors to portray the iconic tobacco figure of the 20th century. Не later went on to star in films such as Predator 2 and Starsky & Hutch. His son's band started off in his garage, with Chuck being one of their biggest supporters. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

Wil Wheaton's troubles with his CRACKED COM manager began before he was even ten years old, since she was his mother, Debbie. Wheaton says he never wanted an acting career, but he wasn't given any choice, as his mother dragged him to auditions and photo shoots. Не believes his chronic depression is related to the anxiety he felt trying to please her. — Source

15

Steven Spielberg's father revolutionized computers. Arnold Spielberg designed the GE-225, a mainframe with unprecedented processing power that helped lead to the development of personal computers. And subsequently, his son's ability to make CGI- heavy movies like Jurassic Park. And presumably to insert a few velociraptors into his upcoming treatment of West Side Story. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

When Janis Joplin's manager learned about her drug problem, he took out a $200K life insurance policy on her. Janis Joplin & Albert Grossman It didn't take long for him to collect. Не took out the policy in June of 1969, and she died of a heroin overdose in October of 1970. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Bill Nye

Bill Nye's mother was a WWII codebreaker. Jacqueline Jenkins-Nye served in the Navy before she was recruited to work on the Enigma code. As Bill fondly recalls: She wasn't 'Rosie the Riveter.' She was 'Rosie the Top-Secret Codebreaker. CRACKED.COM — Source

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12

Lenny Kravitz

Lenny Kravitz's uncle was a war hero. Leonard Kravitz (the one who didn't marry Lisa Bonet) enlisted in the Korean War at just 20. When his unit was attacked, he kept firing at the enemy so they would focus on him. His sacrifice saved his entire platoon, and he was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor. Meanwhile, his namesake would serve his nation with a cover version of the Canadian antiwar song American Woman. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

Stewart Copeland

Stewart Copeland's dad helped found the CIA. THE POLICE Miles Copeland was an intelligence officer who, along with other notable spooks, assisted in setting up the CIA after World War II and was instrumental in bringing together the best officers from different agencies. As if that Every breath you take, I'll be watching you song didn't have enough creepy undertones. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

HF Uma Thurman F6 sued her HOUNT 55725898 HERE CON adidas former financial advisor the مملكة ... المملكة I E I 1 i г HF 4406174 ONE НА 05572 HUNDR DOLLAR I I : I24078663 A 3027 Any WHITE She lost over $2 million to Kenneth App ALL PORTA - Videl AND PRODUTO - TUMIDA I Starr's Ponzi scheme. Не scammed his B2 other colebrity clients for nearly $30 million before he HE was 846656 HENR NOTK 832 K caught and convicted. CRACKED COM — Source

9

Alanis Morissette

Alanis Morrisette's business manager stole $4.8 million from her. Не took it in small chunks over six years, hoping she wouldn't notice. To hide it, he encouraged her to blow money recklessly. When confronted, he tried to pass it off as investing in an (illegal) marijuana growing scheme, but she didn't buy that and successfully sued him. In court, she said the whole thing left her ability to trust shaken to the core. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Scooter Braun

Scooter Braun's brother has founded over 150 schools. MISE OMISE LS9 РЕ IS PR Adam Braun started out with just $25 and the dream of giving children an education. Thanks to his business acumen and social medial skills, he raised millions through his nonprofit, Pencils of Promise. He's now built more than 150 schools in Asia, Africa, and Latin America. Not that it compares to being on Time's 100 most influential people list for squabbling with Taylor Swift. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

During the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix, Formula One driver Nelson Piquet Jr. was ordered by his Renault racing team to deliberately crash so that fellow Renault driver Fernando Alonso could win the race. ING F N Piquet | Renault D ESTONE ING Renault was suspended from F1 for two years, and two of the team's directors were dealt even longer bans. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

Carly Simon

Carly Simon's father co-founded Simon & Schuster. Richard Simon first met Max Schuster when he was trying to sell him a piano, which led to them founding one of the world's biggest publishing companies together. Simon even came up with the idea of launching the first-ever book of crossword puzzles. Something to think about when you're penciling in Richard Gere as an 11-letter proper noun for the subject of the hit song 'You're so vain. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

Alyssa Milano alleges she and her husband lost $10 million because their managers were lazy grifters. ZER VH1 She says they kept the couple in the dark about their finances, didn't pay their taxes for two years, and forged Milano's signature many times before and after they got fired. In one case, they apparently scotch-taped a copy of Milano's signature on a $150,000 wire transfer. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

CHUCK PALAHNIUK ALMOST WENT BROKE after an accountant from his literary agency embezzled $3.4 million from their clients. وزارة CLUB CHUCK PALAHNIUK Club de lucha a... Having no income for years stopped Palahnluk from going to conventions and from having big shows in his book tours because he couldn't afford them anymore. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Keya Morgan, Stan Lee's former business manager, was arrested on elder abuse charges in 2019. Charges included false imprisonment and stealing over $262,000 from Lee's autographing sessions in 2018. ... MIDA KHEN ... I POLICE AWARE CAR TKE CONCRETA CRACKED VOLE COM U WH AS APPA us ad MAY — Source

2

Helena Bonham Carter

Helena Bonham Carter's grandfather made Schindler look like a chump. Eduardo Propper de Callejón worked at the Spanish Embassy in Paris in 1940 as the Nazis were approaching. Не issued thousands of visas to Jewish refugees without permission so they could escape, earning him special recognition by Yad Vashem, Israel's official Holocaust museum. Meanwhile, his granddaughter was recognized as Planet of the Apes' all-time sexiest chimp. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

CRACKED COM Dane Cook's half-brother, Darryl McCauley, was sentenced to 6 years in prison and ordered to pay $12 million in restitution for embezzling from Cook while managing his financial affairs. Among other charges, McCauley was found guilty of forging a $3 million check to transfer funds from Cook's business accounts to his own personal account. — Source

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