34 Things That Sure Do Not Hit the Same in 2023
These things aged like pre-made guacamole
![34 Things That Sure Do Not Hit the Same in 2023](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/3/5/995435_320x180.jpg)
Whiskey, blue jeans, leather boots, wine and cheese are a handful of things that do indeed get better with age. Cowboys and snooty Frenchmen have all the luck! But for those of us who try to look back fondly on the pop culture of our day… not so much.
![COMEDY NERD Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy wouldn't do the JFK Pez Dispenser joke today. Here's the joke: A kid gets the head of his new John F. Kennedy Pez Dispenser blown off, then says Good thing I still have my Bobby Kennedy Pez Dispenser. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/6/0/990660.jpg)
![CRACKED DISCUSSING DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY The gross-out humor is actually really good. They pull off a ton of memorable raunchy bits, but Matt Dillon using the R word, referring to a kid as Mongo, and discussing his cage, and his leash has never sat well with decent viewers.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/9/990659.jpg)
![CRACKED TINA FEY pulled 30 Rock' S blackface episodes from circulation. About the four episodes, she said, I understand now that 'intent' is not a free pass for white people to use these images. I apologize for the pain they have caused. Going forward, no comedy-loving kid needs to stumble on these tropes and be stung by their ugliness.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/8/990658.jpg)
![CRACKED SARAH SILVERMAN is horrified that she did blackface. About her show's 2007 episode: I don't stand by the blackface sketch. I'm horrified by it, and I can't erase it. I can only be changed by it and move on. That was such liberal-bubble stuff, where I actually thought it was dealing with racism by using racism... All I can say is that I'm not that person anymore.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/7/990657.jpg)
![KEVIN COSTNER DANCES CRACKED.COM WITH WOLVES This movie set the bar for White Savior tropes in Hollywood. It won Best Picture over Goodfellas. WINNER OF SEVEN ACADEMY AWARDS INCLUDING BEST PICTURE 1990 OAMPAS](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/6/990656.jpg)
![MANHATTAN al A won the BAFTA Award for best film in 1980. SH MEXUAL - - - In retrospect, it's unseemly to praise Woody Allen for making a film about his romance with a teenage girl. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/5/990655.jpg)
![SpongeBob SquarePants takes college pranks too far. CRACKED COM Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and SpongeBob go on a panty raid, actually breaking into a woman's house to steal her underwear.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/4/990654.jpg)
![Ariana Grande demeans mental health. VICTORIOUS CRACKED.COM On Victorious, Cat (Ariana Grande) jokingly states, Doctors don't even know what's wrong with me, and, My brother's going back to the clinic tonight. Не could be there for a while.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/2/990652.jpg)
![iCarly referenced that BDSM movie. Shade Nifty Stade Shades of Beg of Beige CRACKED.COM A Season 5 episode shows Guppy (an 8 year old boy) staring wide eyed at the novel, Nifty Shades of Beige - a direct spoof of the BDSM laden Fifty Shades of Grey.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/3/990653.jpg)
![Rugrats spoofed a highly sexualized psychological thriller. CRACKED COM In Season 3, Episode 25, Cradle Attraction, a new girl stalks Chuckie in the same manner as Alex (Glenn Close) with Dan (Michael Douglas) in Fatal Attraction. They even replicate a shot from the film.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/1/990651.jpg)
![CRACKED YOUR ENTIRE PLOT CAN'T INVOLVE RIGID GENDER NORMS. MR. MOM A laid-off man becomes a stay-at-home dad while his wife returns to work. Jokes about a man changing diapers and ironing shirts couldn't be seen as ridiculous today. Don't worry, in the happy ending, he returns to work and his wife gets back to the homestead.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/1/990641.jpg)
![CRACKED YOUR ENTIRE PLOT CAN'T BE ONE BIG TRANS JOKE ANYMORE. ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE The Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn plot has one big reveal of Einhorn's bulge tucked between her legs. This would never be played up as a joke today, and we wonder why it was even needed to tell a stolen dolphin story.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/3/990643.jpg)
![CRACKED YOU CAN'T HARASS AND HOSPITALIZE ACTORS (OR KILL BIRDS) ANYMORE. THE BIRDS Alfred Hitchcock pelted actress Tippi Hedren with live birds (injuring and killing them), and force-fed whisky to seagulls to get them to stay still. Hedren was hospitalized, and he ruined her career when she refused his sexual advances.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/7/990647.jpg)
![CRACKED YOU CAN'T MAKE $100 MILLION ROM-COMS ANYMORE. In the 2000s, movies like As Good as It Gets and Spanglish were made for over $80 million. 2010's How Do You Know cost $120 million, but studios today are much more risk-averse, with recent rom-coms costing between $10 - $30 million.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/8/990638.jpg)
![CRACKED YOU CAN'T MAKE DARK, DISTURBING MOVIES FOR KIDS ANYMORE. In the '80s, we had The Dark Crystal, The NeverEnding Story, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and Gremlins before everything brightened up in the '90s. Back then, a ghost gave Ray oral in Ghostbusters and Batman was made by Tim Burton.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/6/990646.jpg)
![CRACKED BLACK FACE CAN'T BE YOUR ENTIRE PLOT ANYMORE. SOUL MAN In the 1986 movie, a spoiled white kid pretends to be black to nab a Harvard scholarship exclusive to black students. It does raise awareness of prejudice and racism, but all the blackface made it wildly offensive, even for 1986 standards.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/0/990640.jpg)
![CRACKED YOUR VILLAIN'S PLOT CAN'T BE EASILY THWARTED BY GOOGLE. TOMORROW NEVER DIES ILL BACK ST This Bond villain is a media mogul who plans to manipulate the news to incite war between China and the UK. Today, social media and a quick googling of countless news sources would label this fake news within a few minutes.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/5/0/990650.jpg)
![Nu METAL The perfect genre of music for any rebellious teen. Listening now, you feel like a brat with bad taste. MUSKA CRACKED.COM CIRCAFDUTWEAR](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/9/990649.jpg)
![SUPER TRENDY HAIRDOS (FROM ANY DECADE) PON SON SOYA www.f TOLK LOOK RIDICULOUS NOW GRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/5/990645.jpg)
![CRACKED.COM LUCKY KINGS Round Up CANDY VICTORY CANDY TARGET CANDY CANDY Feeling totally badass pretending to smoke your candy cigarettes.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/6/990636.jpg)
![The Cosby Show is hard to watch. صد: JAPA The allegations against Cosby make all the heartfelt fathering feel insincere and sometimes disturbing, Eden Lili Tirl Bernard but especially because two of the women that have accused Cosby of sexual assault were on the show. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/7/990637.jpg)
![Jeffrey Jones, who played Principal Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, was convicted of owning child porn and asking a 14-year old to pose in a sexually explicit manner. Principal Rooney's obsession towards Ferris Bueller in the film now seems much creepier. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/8/990648.jpg)
![On HOUSE OF CARDS, Kevin Spacey portrayed Frank Underwood - a calculating sociopath with a fake charming persona for the public. After all the revelations about his sexual, CRACKED.COM and all around disturbing, behavior came out, it became apparent that he wasn't just playing a character, he was living it.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/4/990634.jpg)
![CRACKED.COM In Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Casey Ryback (Steven Seagal) travels with his niece, Sarah Ryback (Katherine Heigl) to attend her father's funeral. Since then, Seagal has been accused of sexual harassment and being inappropriate with many women, including the then 16-year-old actress.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/5/990635.jpg)
![Cringey Cameos The Man Who Drew God Kevin Spacey This is actually a coming appearance that travels back in time and makes us go yikes right now. Spacey will appear as a police detective investigating (get this) a man wrongly accused of molesting a child. Classy. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/2/990642.jpg)
![Cringey Cameos The О.С. Chris Brown Brown appeared as a well-mannered A-student back in 2007, before becoming a synonym for violent, toxic masculinity. The stint lasted 3 episodes, but his legendary douchebaggery lives on. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/9/990639.jpg)
![Cringey Cameos My Scene Goes Hollywood: The Movie Harvey Weinstein Seeing Weinstein act all cool and aloof while teenage girls swoon over him is the very definition of creepy. In fact, we could call it The Very Definition of Creepy: The Movie, which would make for a less clunky title. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/4/4/990644.jpg)
![Cringey Cameos Dodgeball Lance Armstrong Armstrong drops by to give Vince Vaughn some encouraging words about not quitting, so as to not regret it forever. Не didn't hook Vaughn up with his dope dealers, though. That was kinda rude, Lance. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/3/990633.jpg)
![Cringey lyrics from the '80s Poison I Want Action I can't wait to get my hands on them. I won't give up until they give in. If I can't have her, I'll take her and make her. You're gonna make her, Bret Michaels? Well, no means no, Bret Michaels! We'd say this didn't age well, but it wasn't acceptable back then (or ever!). CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/1/990631.jpg)
![Cringey lyrics from the '80s Band Aid Do They Know It's Christmas? The entire concept of the song! It was meant to fight famine in Ethiopia, but Ethiopia has a majority Christian population, who definitely know about Christmas. Even if they didn't, not everyone celebrates Christmas, and that's okay! CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/0/990630.jpg)
![Cringey lyrics from the '80s The Beastie Boys Girls I asked her out, she said 'No way.' I should of probably guessed her gay. If a girl isn't into you, she must be gay! Lyrics for the fragile ego of the rejected bro. And it's have, Beastie Boys. You should have probably guessed that she is gay. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/3/2/990632.jpg)
![Cringey lyrics from the '80s AC/DC Let Me Put My Love Into You Don't you struggle. Don' 't you fight. Don't you worry. 'Cause it's your turn tonight. If the title of the song wasn't cringey enough, they really doubled down with a good ol' take on consent in the '80s. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/2/9/990629.jpg)
![Cringey lyrics from the '80s Guns N' Roses One in a Million Racial and homophobic slurs that we'd care to not repeat. EXCLUSIVE - . - - N - DRUGA Sort frees shet of by WITH gong THE SHOCKII Serving - - - - GTO USED TO Elephant giv LOVE HER HE - - - One In A - - - - - - - - Controversial even at the time, many questioned why Slash (who is half black) played on a song where Axl drops the worst possible word that begins with an N. CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/2/8/990628.jpg)
![Cringey lyrics from the '80s DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince Parents Just Don't Understand And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh. She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far. I almost had a heart attack that day. Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway. Will Smith was 20 when this was released, and even if the song was about his younger self, he picks up this girl while driving his car. Do we need to keep listing reasons this is problematic?! CRACKED](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/2/7/990627.jpg)