28 of the Funniest Tweets from December 14, 2023

The bell no longer tolls for him
28 of the Funniest Tweets from December 14, 2023

Looks like the enthusiasm is actually getting curbed this time around after all. After 24 years, with a pair of hiatuses peppered in, Larry David’s groundbreaking series Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming to an end with its upcoming 12th season. In classic David fashion, the show’s co-creator released a statement expressing his gratitude for the chance to “finally shed this ‘Larry David’ persona” and become the “thoughtful, kind, caring, considerate human being” God intended him to be. The 10-episode final season will air in February and features a finale that’s been described as a “homecoming” of sorts. Once the Emmy-winning comedy concludes, David says you can reach him at Doctors Without Borders.  

That said, when one queen falls, another rises. Or, in the case of one former Peacock show, four do. After being dropped by its previous streamer, Girls5Eva is starting a new era on Netflix, and as if by fate, the third season of the Meredith Scardino comedy will see the beloved girl group planning a comeback tour. Sara Bareilles, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Paula Pell and Busy Philipps return to the stage (and small screen) in March with all six episodes being immediately available to stream. 

Thankfully, the funny tweets on the timeline aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Today’s funniest include those about a loud-ass suitcase, the most dangerous place on Earth and the age-old question — pilot boyfriend or cult-escaping girlfriend?

7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee... 19h ... Me (30) at my work holiday party with my coworker (26) it KIND E IND Fi nt+ DVIE aramount IGIN AL MOVII KIND ar ORIGI FINESTKI 1 363 10.3K 698K
macklin @saintmacklin - 20h 4 months clean today Order it again Quickly add items from your past orders Crunchwrap Supreme® $7.31 Last ordered 8/13 Add 78 2,960 76.3K 2.4M
Kiera @kezzysioux. 1d People who can just sit at home chilling in jeans unnerve me. Why are you in denim under a blankie on the sofa? Why aren't you in sweats or jimmyjams like a normal person? Get cosy you silly goose, you deserve to be cosy 96 2,716 31.6K del 832K
Jamya @jsopretty_ - 1d you might wanna go buy a gun DCJB @DanyChristophe3.2d Rate my uppercut from 1-10 CG 270 4,697 57.6K 3.3M
coffee minus one @eventualforever - 1 17h wtf is George Clooney doing directing these fake movies instead of being a star. we need the return of George Clooney the movie star 14 79 1.9K 63K
jolly ol' joe bro @jbromovies. 13h ... Too late for a movie too early for bed is probably the worst time in history to exist 68 2.8K 27K 685K
Graham Kritzer @GrahamKritzer • 1d ... Guy inventing Accordion: I'm gonna make this suitcase so fucking loud 6 779 8K 215K
kendrick lobstar @KLobstar 16h taking 700mg of melatonin so I can meet the Hat Man's less popular brother the Jacket Guy 12 444 6K 274K
Daniel @dadogeking 18h linherited my dads anger and its all being directed right back at him right now 2 435 2.4K 124K
Chris @ThisIsCreation 20h ... This is how work friendships feel mount+ KIND NAL MOVIE STKIND FI ramount+ GINAL MOVIE ramount+ IGINAL MOVIE ESTKIND Par ORIG INESTKIN 26 1.7K 28K 970K
zou bisou bisou where are you @lilgrapefruits . 18h ... The woman/gay person version of this is thinking you could probably join a cult and then just kinda leave whenever THE The Hill HILL @thehill. 5d Nearly half of men think they can safely land a plane in an emergency, survey finds trib.al/8t4HTx2 37 2.2K 33K del 1.7M
samantha @milkygoddess.1 17h a girl without a drunk cigarette is like an angel without its wings 15 2.2K 15K 669K
The Drunk Jake @TheDrunkJake 1d ... behind every beautiful woman there is a curb that she just drove over 36 2.7K 21K 946K
pat++ @patsatweetin 23h Marriot: We charge about $400 a night The Ritz: We charge about $1100 a night Any American Hospital: You fools. You absolute peasants 8 439 6.2K 157K
Maureen Langloss @MaureenLangloss 2 21h Did you happen to lose a gigantic bag of carrots on the streets of NYC? Because I found it. 169 1.7K 32K 1.2M
garashir fujo @opheliamoding 20h ... i went to the diocese of gaylord and they said you were a parishioner in excellent standing Tetrahedron @greenTetra_ 5/15/22 learning about catholicism Diocese of Gaylord Diœcesis Gaylordensis St. Mary, Our Lady of Mount Carmel Cathedral 5 583 3.7K 130K
Sam Jeske @Sam_Jeske. 1d do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost. 1d Doritos rolls out $65 bottle of nacho cheese-flavored liquor that 'tastes like the real thing' trib.al/sakZBoy EMPIRICAL Doritos NACHO CHEESE EMPIRICAL BISTELLET ESESTED SEEES Doritos Doritas 145-ML THE VACUUM DISTILLED KARE ATO DONITOR NACHO CHEERI RELEARE ALLIANCE - aceires 21 1.1K 17K 2.2M
maddie, hot dog enthusiast @damnitmadeline. 21h ... Did an egg write this Extras Optional Rice +$3.00 Egg +$1.00 Double eggs (2 more eggs!) +$2.00 +$3.00 Triple eggs (3 more eggs!!) Chicken +$3.00 Pork +$3.00 Beef +$3.00 Shrimp +$3.00 67 1.6K 44K 1.3M
Vincent Martella @vince_martella 22h ... the trader joe's parking lot? you mean the most dangerous place on earth? 80 4.9K 45K 1.7M
Sarah Hollowell @sarahhollowell - 1 1d I found a YouTube channel entirely dedicated to covering drama in the knitting and crocheting communities and this is the exact kind of weirdly specific that I crave, yes 82 481 11K 372K
delia @delia_cai 15h girls night conversation agenda en.m.wikipedia.org Life Psychological issues See also Ancestry 65 8.8K 76K 1.9M
@YSLONIKA 1d welp. ICON how did the person who invented the clock know what time it was ? CC AROSA 147 1K 13K 348K
kale @leafyvegetabl. 1d people don't know that broccoli, cauliflower, kale, brussel sprouts, & cabbage originate from the same plant, selectively bred to emphasize respective characteristics dreamstime® 95 3.2K 36K 951K
Adam @adamgreattweet. dd ... FAIRY GOD PARENTS PRO INTERIOR DO I Expanded assortment of our bestselling standard elze Interior Doors at every day 48 low prices Rewards Valume Savings Discount aligible orders of $1,500 / offer mais through - days - delivery albe B estable Garap Suere I B Lour's PRO - M / '808 .د #5183703 the 332 QTY:1 KOBALT KOBALI OX RANS PINK Box KOBALY #518 704 QTY ROBALT PINK Box 1 147 3.8K 16 106K
Batty @BattyMclain 18h ... I called my wife 4x from the store to see if we needed a Santa riding a T-Rex inflatable and she never answered so I played it safe 135 3.1K 65K 1.8M
hotdog water @saltysauerkraut. 1d the grinch would not fucking say this The Right Can't Meme @TheRightCant - 1d a Grinch E aM I SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS GOD BLESS AMERICA I SALUTE OUR FLAG and give THANKS TO OUR TROOPS IF THIS OFFENDS YOU I DON'T CARE 874 16K 30 355K
bigestaban @bigestaban 1d hang in there fellas, only a few more weeks until Christmas 306 8.2K 110K 4.9M
nxili bunny @c0ckbiter7 . 1d His mom is somewhere accusing the maid of theft Galacta Girl @GiftedAsia.1 1d my niece's 11th birthday was yesterday. She told me a boy in her grade gave her some perfume and scented lotions. Look what he gave her C DAISY DREAM MARC JACOBS I WANT CHOO JIMMY CHOO LAIT PARFUMÉ POUR LE CORPS PERFUMED BODY LOTION 00 ml e 3.3 Fl.Oz. GUCCI BLOOM LUMINOUS BODY LOTION LAIT LUMINEUX POUR LE 42 6.3K 73K 2M
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