26 of the Funniest Tweets from December 1, 2023

Diva down! In a historic 311-114 vote, Representative George Santos has been expelled from the House of Representatives for his crimes of slaying too close to the sun. Of course, the actual crimes as investigated by the House Ethics Committee included allegations of misappropriation of campaign funds for personal use by soliciting dick ratings on OnlyFans and a Vegas honeymoon fit for a queen, amongst many other extravagant purchases. In one final stunt, the disgraced freshman representative grabbed his coat and stormed off the floor prior to the vote’s conclusion. If Santos can manage to avoid jail time, his court-mandated community service will likely be an appearance in the Dancing with the Stars ballroom. 

Where one butt of the joke falters, another rises. Over at Amazon, Jury Duty breakout star Ronald Gladden signed a two-year deal with Amazon MGM Studios to produce, develop and star in productions across their portfolio of platforms. It’s unclear what type of content Gladden will create under the deal, as he was a humble solar contractor with no entertainment background prior to unwittingly appearing on the Freevee show. Perhaps he’ll find a way to get back at James Marsden, who nabbed an Emmy nomination for playing a fictionalized version of himself on the show. 

The timeline is ringing in the end of the work week with a new batch of hilarious tweets to keep us laughing until closing time. Today’s include those about maternal poetry, the modern power of Google and sugar-baby Reaganomics.