31 of the Funniest Tweets from November 29, 2023

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31 of the Funniest Tweets from November 29, 2023

Just who was Bonnie Tyler so passionately yearning for as she sang “Total Eclipse of the Heart”? In another lifetime, the answer could have been master of the night and the vampire of all vampires: Nosferatu. In honor of the chart-topping hit’s 40th anniversary, the Welsh singer sat down with The Guardian and shared the unlikely origins for the emotional ballad. She revealed that Jim Steinman, best known for his work with Meat Loaf, originally penned the song for “a perspective musical version of Nosferatu, but never finished it.” That is, until the hitmaker teamed up with Tyler to produce what would go on to become one of the most sung songs at karaoke bars around the world.

Despite not making it to the West End or Broadway stage, the dastardly vampire will hit the big screen in 2024 thanks to Robert Eggers. The Lighthouse director’s take on the German Expressionist classic starring Bill Skarsgård and Lily-Rose Depp is due out next Christmas and is part of an onslaught of films that have received official release dates for 2024. While Nosferatu goes nose-to-nose with Jordan Peele’s untitled third film, we can expect Ryan Gosling’s first post-Ken outing with The Fall Guy come May and Tom Hardy’s final bow as the cheeky symbiote Venom in November. 

As we eagerly await these highly anticipated releases, we’ve got the timeline to hold us over. Today’s funny tweets include those about Greta Gerwig’s new muse, someone who pushed their luck and a basket of chicken tenders and two unlikely literary icons who desperately need the Celebrity Deathmatch treatment.  

@7hsteIlium 1d ... i'm crying at the girl on tiktok that got on anti depressants and then stopped being polyamorous 364 11.7K 182K 8.4M

LJ @crotchner2.22h slur? i think i you'll find i pronounced it very clearly 27 3,945 43.1K 2M

Grovy @grovymango. 1d glass blocks! specifically clear and quadra patterns! Dream @ThaDream... 1d Y'all hate being parents, yall hate the idea of getting married, yall hate relationships, yall hate working to provide.. what do yall like?!?? 25 2,711 21.3K 568K

sandwich @SANDW1CHED· 1d ... you ever have mutuals who are definitely tweeting through some sort of manic episode and some of the tweets are bangers but you aren't sure if you should be encouraging them 351 14.3K 60.8K 2.4M

phage @clubmoss_ 23h If you're 20-30 and your circle isn't discussing favorite sandwich .pickled onions •mayo side pickle and chips whether to save half for later Then it's time to find a new circle because it's lunch time 48 3,602 38.2K 1.4M

Kristen Mulrooney @missmul... 23h ... My 4-year-old said she's scared to become a grown up because she doesn't know how to do the gas station. She has no idea how real she's being right now 204 8,212 114K 2.5M

michael @FilledwithUrine. 1 1d been thinking a lot Notes ... Done baby names girl: iPhone 4s adderal 200mg boy: tv dinner 56 3,840 39.2K 1.3M

hb @h3xenbrenner2. 1d ... If I am ever murdered please do not react to it with images from SpongeBob thunder cunt @bussdo... . 1d they found some girls body down the road from my house mutilated with a strange symbol carved into her chest and my coworker went to the bathroom at a gas station and found a picture of the logo drawn on the wall 217 10.8K 160K 71M

Derek Heckman @herekdeckm... 1d ... Me sending an email without exclamation points 4 492 6,318 del 264K

mar @itsmariannnna 1d got my spotify wrapped today You spent 525,600 minutes this year smoking weed 14 2,667 14.6K 649K

MEL @filmadlct.2 21h ... saoirse and timothee rn she's mad at the wrong person 25:10 how to be unbothered when someone's stealing your man ... Manifestelle 12K views 6 hours ago DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm . 22h Margot Robbie calls her & Greta Gerwig the next Scorsese & De Niro duo. ... 3 1.4K 24K 809K

... ara @aramatize.20h GHT .FRES. RE de GS. ADES. W ES. REPEAT.FRIE REPEA SIDES. WINGS. SIDESSIUMCA REPBA GIESP SAMPLE FIFES. R WINGS. 273 ISED INDESAVITINGS SIDES GS SIDES. WIN and 2p REPEAT. FRIE SPEAT.FRIES ES. WINGS PERS SID 1.1M ara @aramatize.20h 24K 1.7K ain't shit ruining my day today #blessed 146

'@HailEternal. 18h ... do you think they'll use the filter DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm 19h 'THE BOYS: MEXICO' spin-off is in the works. Diego Luna & Gael García Bernal will exec produce but not star in major capacity. Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer ('Blue Beetle') will write the series. 148 1.7K 43K 1.5M

good reddit @GoodReddit • 2h u/Levantiney 11h Never thought I'd own a $100 bill I'd never spend. Check out that serial number. Had to grade it $100 2009A Federal Reserve Note Atlanta 35 FAP PMG Fr#2187-F (LFB Block) Rios Geithner FW Choice Very Fine S/N LF69420800B pp G PAPER MONEY GUARANTY ONE TEN DHED DOLLARS 100 G UNITED THE STATES FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE OFAMERICA LF 69420800 B in TOTAL F6 JULY 2. 11.70 CT STATES LF694208008 F. la Sample Rio 100 100 141 912 16K 590K

Hermit Thrush M @Hermit_Thrush -1 15h It's famously very satisfying to hear your own voice played back to you. Famous for being a great thing that people love Hunter @NextGenPlayer. 1d ЕА new patent would allow players to voice characters in games themselves You would input speech and then the tech would replicate your voice for in-game characters Would you use this? See more: veryaligaming.com/ea-player-voic... 13 233 5.2K 145K

Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR. 16h it be the mfs wit no job sending u car accident reels at 2 am 35 933 13K 438K

jackie @fashionkillaaa 15h ... STIIIZY Dream @ThaDreamGirl13 1d Y'all hate being parents, yall hate the idea of getting married, yall hate relationships, yall hate working to provide.. what do yall like?!?? 12 301K 839 4.7K

Gundam Pumpkin Spice 0069 @bogv... 23h ... average skyrim tavern Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer. 1d Ideal house layout KITCHEN/DINING BATH BEDROOM LOUNGE LARGE UNVENTILATED FIRE PIT 33 5.4K 73K 2M

pb&jeremy (xmas flavored) @Pisces_Prince_. 17h Jay-Z rapping on Monster: Jameca т. @Jameca2011 - 1d Skin walkers.... cannibals... aliens... the ocean... space... different dimensions... evil... reptiles people... beyond Antarctica... butterfly effect... Mandela effect... Time loops... reincarnation... religions prespectives... heritage... image of God... magic...... Show more 268 8K 48K 3.4M

prozac & cody @kakicp 12h ... still thinking about this stantler Follow Nov 24 Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. Don't miss out on 30% off don't piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that's how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country 36 8.1K 94K 1.5M

chrissy chlapecka @chrissychlapp . 12h ... being in ur 20's is about learning that ur lactose intolerant, severely depressed and kinda gay 22 1.3K 8.3K 225K

Dr. Poopie Esq. @evilratperson 2h Spotify is trying to create a homosexual homeland in Berkeley California 48 1K 7.5K 173K

mahenoor @ajeebakwaas 1d he was concerned. 4:00 Baba home 10:20 AM what would you guys do if I turned into a worm? 3:41 PM Baba What? 3:49 PM 176 13.2K 185K 4M

marina @bloodmajicks. 1d doing coke off these 10 901 9,563 270K

madimoiselle @drivingmema... 1d ... (trying to make light conversation) did you know that one serving of gogurt is 3 tubes? a lot of people would think one tube, but you can actually have three. three tubes, if you want 17 1,725 21.7K 685K

Max @ImSmilingRn -1 1d my secretary over the intercom: sir your girlfriend just faxed you an instagram post from HippoLoversWorld me: thank you barb, leave it on my desk 1 348 5,054 del 159K

Microplastics Explorer @Diab... 17h ... If you put a new trash bag in the can *before* you take the trash to the dumpster, the chore is entirely done when you get back inside. Little tricks like this keep you from killing yourself in your 30's. 155 7,033 80.5K 2.2M

hannah strong @thethirdhan 1d ... в в C IR The world's first labradoodle Creator Wally Conron says it's his 'life's egret Sounds 13 913 17.4K 648K

expert bimbologist TM @bimb... . 21h ... Where do your balls go when you ride a bike? 743 3,673 32.2K 3.3M

jay @cybercanid - 1 14h cleaning up after my son's 5th birthday party N20 102 2,105 43.5K 1.7M

yolk @h0mmelette• 23h imagine you're three sheets to the wind in your local bar and within minutes find yourself being tag teamed by the two most famous english prose stylists alive @Amer... 6/5/23 Aaron Gwyn Shoutout to James Joyce who, in 1926, would start fights in Paris bars, then turn to a young Ernest Hemingway and say, Finish it, Hem! 72 3,809 38K 1.8M
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