13 Criminal Masterminds Who Accidentally Confessed

One of the most infamous accidental confessions ever, disgraced real estate heir Robert Durst took a toilet break filming the documentary The Jinx and muttered to himself, “What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course.” Robert! Ssshhhh! 

In 2009, James Brewer, dying from a stroke, wanted to have his cake and eat it, too: By confessing to a 1977 murder he’d die a free man with a clear conscience. However, he survived, and was arrested upon leaving hospital.

Cannibalistic serial killer Ladislav Hojer accidentally confessed in a one-step-removed way — he told a friend the details of his crimes, and that friend got confused and confessed to them himself, ultimately leading the police to Hojer, who fucking sucked. 

When Nancy Crampton Brophy’s husband was murdered, prosecutors pointed to a blog post she had written with the title “How to Murder Your Husband,” a pre-confession that lined up strikingly with how she, yes, murdered her husband. 

In 2008, California gang member Robert Garcia was photographed shirtless. A police officer later saw the picture showcasing Garcia’s tattoo and connected it with an unsolved murder — there were key details and in-jokes that seemed, you know, suspicious.

A gamer who couldn’t keep his ass still accidentally told police he was a killer. The teen, known only as “Elijah,” butt-dialed 911 while playing Rainbow Six and shouting about killing people. He was arrested for being a fucking idiot.

While it remains an open case, the murder of Paddy Moriarty (seen in Netflix documentary Last Stop Larrimah) seems fairly clear, with one suspect drunkenly singing about “killing fucking Paddy up the bum.” Not a great look. Or song, actually. 

A Kansas City octogenarian who had been recording the audio of a court case forgot to turn his recorder off, so he captured himself muttering about shooting a lawyer dead months before. Old people and technology, right?

In 2015, a defendant accused of killing two sheriff’s deputies was so crippled with anxiety that he blurted out “I killed them cops.” Luis Bracamontes — who later featured in a controversial anti-immigration Trump ad — is now on death row. 

In 1978, John Lanahan of Albany prompted an ongoing legal debate after frantically confessing to a gas station robbery, but then attempting to un-confess. It went to the Court of Appeals, and his confession was thrown out, although he subsequently pleaded guilty. 

An Illinois man who murdered a 17-year-old greeted police by panicking and telling them, “There’s a girl inside, and I strangled her.” Arthur Jensen, who planned and committed the murder, unsuccessfully tried to have his confession stricken from the record. 

The 1995 murder of Pennsylvania chef Jim Webb became easier to solve when his business partner accidentally revealed he knew too much. Webb was killed in a restaurant — famously filled with knives — but Guy Sileo asked, “Who would shoot Jim?”

Neo-Nazis aren’t bright. After murdering one of their own, an Aryan Brotherhood gang member opened a call to 911 —  intended to cover up the killing — with the fairly damning line, “We are going to tell them he got robbed, okay?”