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29 Remarkably Fun (or Awful) Toys From the Last Place You’d Expect

Nobody said that playtime had to be a good time

29 Remarkably Fun (or Awful) Toys From the Last Place You’d Expect

November 24, 2023

Ever since the first humans made dolls out of rocks and sticks, one of humankind’s many missions has been to build bigger and better play things. Sometimes we got it right, and sometimes we made a plush set of Passover plagues. Pretty recently, too. They’re still available on Amazon. Just… Wow.

29

In the 1980s, the struggling HASBRO toy company released a new action figure for its GIJOE line. The new character SNAKE EYES was clad completely in BLACK because Hasbro couldn't afford COLORED PAINT. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

The 1983 HE-MAN was syndicated AND THE developed cartoon MASTERS by Mattel OF THE UNIVERSE just to sell dolls (err... action figures). Reagan era deregulation paved the way for toy companies to create product based programming aimed at children, basically allowing Saturday morning cartoons to become half hour commericals. CRACKED.COM — Source

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CRACKED THE TRANSFORMERS CARTOON WAS MADE TO HAWK PRODUCT. In 1984, Hasbro bought a toy line from the Japanese company Takara, and rebranded them as Transformers. They created the Transformers series based on the toy line, and made $950 million in toy sales from 1984 to 1990 alone. — Source

26

The Super Soaker was invented by a Nasa Engineer. In addition to the Super Soaker, Dr. Lonnie Johnson also invented the Nerf Gun and holds over 100 patents. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

Frank Lloyd Wright's son, John Lloyd Wright, invented the Lincoln Logs. Не got the idea when he saw his dad employ a similar interlocking style in order to earthquake proof one of his buildings. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

Mr. Potato Head used to be a real potato... that you had to provide. TRY НЕ ВОЛ POTA E! BA Pie F J any poi Incla bod ma Originally MR the toy came with Lot to a stick into a had In 1964 potato you Mattel began providing the plastic potato body. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Silly String is used to find tripwires around bombs. Soldiers shoot the string into the air and if it falls to the ground they know there aren't any wires- if it hangs in the air they know otherwise. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

In 1991, The Little Tikes Cozy Coupe was America's best selling car. little likes For over 40 years, the company has sold 457,000 cars each year. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

CRACKED.COM THIS TRICYCLE WAS THE MOST OBVIOUS RECALL EVER. The Disney Princess Plastic Racing Trike brings a fantasy kingdom close to your children. So close, in fact, they risk getting it impaled in their little skulls. One sudden stop is all it takes. To no one's surprise, this murdercycle was recalled in 2011. — Source

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Horrible Toys

CRACKED COM WHAT'S CUDDLIER THAN A BABY? A PREMATURE BABY! In a misguided attempt at... well, something, Coleco released preemie Cabbage Patch Kids in the 1980s. The preemies were smaller and had less hair that the regular dolls. Not included were the incubator and tubes required to keep real prematures babies alive, as that could have made them less adorable. — Source

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НИ gerfa DON'T DENY IT. 20 Fahrt sun CRACKED COM elen YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY WITH THE PLAGUES OF EGYPT. on und PLAGUES Berfin Codes, fb befoble áußer ment, de eborgen anbend If anything is ripe to be captured in soft, cuddly animal form, it's surely the Lord's mighty wrath being visited upon Pharaoh and his people. Now your child can enjoy locusts, boils, dead firstborns, and other such fun! — Source

18

CRACKED.COM OREO BARBIE DIDN'T LAST LONG ON THE SHELVES. Oreo Barbie, born in 1997 from a cross-promotional partnership between Mattel and Nabisco, came in both white and black versions. You can tell every person involved was white because nobody knew that MA Oreo is a derogatory OREO term in the African American community for a black person who is ORE white on the inside. — Source

17

CRACKED.COM IT'S A STRIPPER POLE! FOR PRETEENS! peekabo Pole Date This toy stripper pole, complete with a garter and money to stuff into it, could be found in 2006 in the British grocery store chain Tesco. They denied the pole was marketed to children, despite the fact that it was exhibited in the - toy section and advertised boo I I as suitable for 11-year-olds. — Source

16

K'Nex Citadel Shadowman93 devoted an entire room to his K'Nex creation, Citadel V2. It's the culmination of over three years of work and constitutes more than 55 individual elements, five lifts, three motors, and innumerable jiggers which direct the balls down 17 separate paths. CRACKED.COM — Source

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29 Remarkably Fun (or Awful) Toys From the Last Place You’d Expect — Source

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Lego City

350,000-Piece LEGO City Brick engineer Gerry Burrows completed the 350,000-piece Garrison of Moriah in only 11 months. It includes a colosseum, hangar, bridge, waterfalls, and Gerry-Burrows-sized statuary. Thematically, it draws from The Lord of the Rings, the Bible, and classical architecture, and is peopled with Star Wars action figures. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

The World's Coolest Train Set VECTORR Max Schlienger's Vectorr Flight Rail isn't just a fancy backyard train set; he hopes it'll be the future of travel. The 1:6 scale model doesn't need a conventional motor. It uses air pressure to achieve up to 30 mph. A to-scale commuter version could hit 180 mph without the inconveniences of a noisy, polluting engine. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

TIE Silencer Replica Mad inventor Colin Furze and roboticist James Burton teamed up with eBay to create a replica of Kylo Ren's murked out TIE Silencer. Other than its 12-foot-high, 48-foot-long, 2-ton frame, everything used in the fighter's construction was purchased from eBay. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

CRACKED FRISBEES USED TO BE PIE TINS. The Frisbie Pie Company unwittingly ushered in a new era of lawn games when, in the grand tradition of broke student upcycling, Yale students figured out they could throw them really far. Fries PIES 46 — Source

10

CRACKED THE SLINKY WAS DEVELOPED FOR THE NAVY. The strong spring was supposed to secure objects on ships, but then its inventor dropped it and realized it was a lot more fun to play with. Slinky COLLECTOR'S EDITION EDITION COLLECTOR LA EDICIÓN DE COLECCIONISTA HECHE MADE - 5+ Slinky — Source

9

CRACKED SILLY PUTTY WAS DEVELOPED AS A RUBBER SUBSTITUTE. It was originally thought to be useless until the scientists examining it whipped it out at parties, which were really boring in the 1940s. — Source

8

7

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE ROBS A 7-ELEVEN WITH MEGATRON CRACKED.COM — Source

6

In 1992 we saw our fun loving pal Michelangelo turn into an angry mexican stereotype. In an effort to pack even more racism into the Wacky Wild West line, Playmates included Chief Leo. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

JOSE EAND UP BOOKS NEDRY Trang-Spray Gon & Dine-Damage Arm! JURASSIC PARK MOVIE COLLECTION - - CARD NEDRY ACTION FIGURE WARNING - - THE LIKENESS IS UNCANNY! GRAGKED.COM — Source

4

Well, GI Joe is We need an selling like idea for a hotcakes... new toy! GIJOE + FOOD FIGHTERS CRACKED.COM — Source

3

CRACKED.COM $10 RÉBATE Rollerblade Barbie had skates that light up... Barbie Rollerblade Skates flicker'a Bash! Because they were basically lighters. — Source

2

Collected Olé! Fun: Reinforcing Ethnic Stereotypes SPANISH While Glamorizing Barbie Animal Cruelty. 20 MADE DONOR or been CRACKED COM — Source

1

CRACKED.COM FORAGES 5 & OVER BOGLINS OUTRAGEOUS CREATURES THAT COME ALIVE IN YOUR HANDS! Flesh-like texture Eyes that move Looks like aborted troll fetus ONLY! DON'T POKE WARE: GERSTHROUGH BARS! 20 years of nightmares NDLE THROUGH BOTTO MATTEL DWORK — Source

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