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November 07, 2023

Give the early 2000s a break, okay?! The digital age was in its infancy, social media was just a hot new trend and emo bands were running amok. We thought the new millennium would magically bring about flying cars and teleportation. But it turns out its early years still had that ‘90s stink all over them.

33

Crazy Town

CRACKED CRAZY TOWN'S BUTTERFLY WAS A TRUE ONE-HIT WONDER. This is their only song that ever appeared on the Billboard Hot 100, and it was #1 for 2 weeks in 2001. Other rap/rock nu-metal bands like Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Linkin Park never hit #1, but had much longer, more successful careers. — Source

32

Vanessa Carlton

CRACKED VANESSA CARLTON WAS THE QUEEN OF 2002. Her hit single A Thousand Miles and its music video made her world-famous. It remained in the Billboard Top Ten for 41 weeks, went double platinum and charted worldwide. No other song came close.

31

Nelly

CRACKED 2005 WAS LIKE THE EDGE OF A CLIFF FOR NELLY. From 2000 to 2004, Nelly was a mainstay in hip hop and pop music. His first 3 albums went multi platinum, and all hit #1 on Billboard. Then, because of experimental songs and oversaturation, his next 3 albums didn't even go gold, and he completely fell off. — Source

30

CRACKED JON HEDER WAS A POP CULTURE ICON FOR A COUPLE YEARS. Napoleon Dynamite became a household name in 2004, and after leading roles in School for Scoundrels and Blades of Glory in 2006, he left Hollywood for the Pacific Northwest, where he feels a lot more comfortable. — Source

29

Dane Cook

CRACKED REMEMBER WHEN DANE COOK WAS THE BIGGEST COMEDIAN ON THE PLANET? His 2005 album Retaliation went double platinum and hit top 5 on the Billboard. Не was a must for every comedy movie, but joke-theft accusations had everyone question his act's substance. His bro-y attitude was mainly for bro-y college kids who then grew up. — Source

28

Jimmy Fallon

CRACKED JIMMY FALLON apologized for doing blackface on SNL. In 2020, he said, In 2000, while on SNL, I made a terrible decision to do an impersonation of Chris Rock while in blackface. There is no excuse for this. I am very sorry for making this unquestionably offensive decision and thank all of you for holding me accountable. — Source

27

CRACKED SARAH SILVERMAN is horrified that she did blackface. About her show's 2007 episode: I don't stand by the blackface sketch. I'm horrified by it, and I can't erase it. I can only be changed by it and move on. That was such liberal-bubble stuff, where I actually thought it was dealing with racism by using racism... All I can say is that I'm not that person anymore. — Source

26

CRACKED JOSHUA COOKE THOUGHT НЕ LIVED IN THE MATRIX. In 2003, the 19-year-old murdered his adoptive parents with a shotgun while dressed like Neo. His defense involved psychologist testimony that Cooke truly believed he lived in a virtual reality. — Source

25

CRACKED MARK TWITCHELL THOUGHT НЕ WAS THE REAL-LIFE DEXTER. ON 3 4 - adidas Audio In 2008, the Canadian filmmaker lured Johnny Altinger to his garage and murdered him after being inspired by Dexter Morgan. Не set the scene with plastic sheeting, a table, and different kinds of weapons, then meticulously dismembered his victim. — Source

24

Madonna and Britney Spears’ VMA Kiss

MADONNA AND BRITNEY SPEARS' VMAS KISS. CRACKED At the 2003 VMAs, people were utterly shocked that Madonna sensually kissed Britney and Christina Aguilera on stage. Only 5 years later, Katy Perry's hit song about kissing girls and liking it hit #1 on Billboard. — Source

23

The Dixie Chicks

THE DIXIE CHICKS SLAM GEORGE W. BUSH. GRACKED In 2003, radio stations pulled their music and fans were outraged after they said We do not want this war, this violence, and we're ashamed that the president is from Texas. Much worse is said about the current and recent presidents daily.

22

CRACKED KATY PERRY As Katy Hudson, she played lead guitar and sang Christian rock on her 2001 self-titled album, and the lack of sales bankrupted her label. She signed with Capitol Records in 2007, changed her name to Katy Perry, and rebranded as the I Kissed A Girl pop star. — Source

21

CRACKED DRAKE From 2001 to 2009, Aubrey Graham played Jimmy on the Canadian teen drama Degrassi: The Next Generation. Не quit to pursue rap, became Drake (his middle name), and his first album Thank Me Later debuted at #1 on Billboard in 2010. — Source

20

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

CRACKED GOOGLE AS A VERB. Google existed before Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but the show was the first to use the word as a verb in 2002. Willow asks Xander, Have you googled her yet? Googling someone as a quick background check quickly caught on.

19

CRACKED BUCKET LIST In the 2007 film The Bucket List, two terminally ill strangers cross things off their list before they kick the bucket. They were the first two to use the expression, which was created by screenwriter Justin Zackham in 1999 when he created his own bucket list. — Source

18

Baby Bob

Disastrous Comedy 2002 Baby Bob Folded Turning an ad into a sitcom, this talking baby got his own CBS primetime show after a string of Freelnternet.com commercials. It's 14 episodes of Wait, that baby can talk? moments that got old right away. CRACKED — Source

17

Animal Planet

Disastrous Comedy 2002 Comedians Unleashed Not to be confused with Comics Unleashed, this was Animal Planet's attempt at a stand-up comedy show. Here's the kicker: It was only animal-themed jokes. They only aired one episode. CRACKED — Source

16

Dot Comedy

Disastrous Comedy 2000 Dot Comedy As the internet was still this new and exciting thing, ABC tried to capitalize by having a terribly unfunny host show off silly computer products, like a mouse that doubles as a deodorant stick. It aired one episode and was canceled two days later. CRACKED — Source

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15

Disastrous Comedy 2006 Emily's Reasons Why Not The ABC sitcom starring Heather Graham was canceled after one episode. Programming chief Steve McPherson said, It's not going to get better. Apparently ABC committed to the show without even seeing its pilot. CRACKED — Source

14

Cavemen

Disastrous Comedy 2007 Cavemen Geico's original so easy a caveman could do it ads were pretty funny, but did not warrant their own show. The ABC sitcom only lasted six episodes, and was dubbed one of the worst ever. CRACKED — Source

13

CRACKED JAY-Z- KINGDOM COME 2003's The Black Album marked his retirement, so fans were thrilled for his return with 2006's Kingdom Come. Commonly referred to as his worst album, it is remembered as a false start before 2007's American Gangster properly kicked off Hov's second coming. — Source

12

Becker

Sitcoms and real world events Becker acknowledged 9/11 poignantly. In 2004's Subway Story, Becker helps an older woman find Chambers Street, and she delivers a heartbreaking speech about losing her son on 9/11. CRACKED — Source

11

Sitcoms and real world events Rescue Me expertly captured a post-9/11 world. Created by Denis Leary in 2004, his veteran New York firefighter character Tommy Gavin deals with the loss of his best friend and other colleagues who died on 9/11. The show was praised for its portrayal. CRACKED — Source

10

South Park

Sitcoms and real world events South Park killed Osama Bin Laden way before America! Season 5's Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants aired on November 7, 2001, and in classic durka durka fashion, they revealed Bin Laden's microscopic penis and shot him, and blew him up Looney Tunes style. CRACKED — Source

9

Celebrities who tried something new Scarlett Johansson released an album (of mostly Tom Waits covers). Johansson released Anywhere I Lay My Head in 2008, and it got some pretty rough reviews. A Pitchfork critic said, The only thing we've learned is that she really, really likes Tom Waits. CRACKED — Source

8

CRACKED Your Languag facebook Home Port Me Me Hearties Bottle o' Messages MG Siegler Adju 2008 MG Siegler Michigan has tied its win total from last yea Afrikaans Blue. squawked from Twitter - 24 shoes of rum ago Swab Bahasa Indonesia Plank Cap'n's Log Portraits Bewitched Portra Bahasa Melayu Bosanski beta What be troublin' ye? Català Attach some loot & Bla Čestina Cymraeg Cap'n MG Siegler Michigan has tied its win total week 3. Go Blue. Dansk 24 shots o' rum ago squawked from Twitter - Weigh in A Deutsch Cap'n MG Siegler MG's Music - The Smiths - Ci Coma http://bit.ly/2SNuX0 Eesti taعظ 54 shots o' rum — Source

7

CRACKED 2008 THE PIRATE LOOK MADE ITS DEBUT AT PARIS FASHION WEEK. You know when someone as bougie as Jean Paul Gautier co-opts a subculture, it's the beginning of the end. — Source

6

CRACKED 2007 A PIRATE-THEMED SURVIVOR SPIN-OFF AIRED FOR ONE WHOLE SEASON. Pirate Master mostly involved contestants running around trying to find treasure that led to other treasure, so it was basically an extremely high-stakes escape room. — Source

5

Apple

CRACKED.COM The iPhone you almost had Two years before the launch of the iPhone, Apple launched an abortive iTunes phone produced by Motorola and called the ROKR (after the glitchy RAZR, get it?) cingular 2 6 5 WINNS It had a 100-song limit, it couldn't buy music over the internet, it was hated by carriers, and its candybar shape looked like yo momma's phone. It almost killed any future phone plans for Apple — Source

4

Sir Ian McKellen

CRACKED Sir lan McKellen was Gandalf and Magneto. Between 2000 and 2006, he starred in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the original X-Men trilogy. Between 2012 and 2014, he reprised his role as Gandalf in The Hobbit trilogy, and Magneto in X-Men: Days of Future Past.

3

CRACKED.COM Peek Home 10:37 am m Sep 30 SIVE twitter 2:46pm | - Con we meet earlier? 1:11pm Jennifer - Carls 00/00 wow Re Family Reunton 12:02pm Sarah Soccer practice time F 1:58am Thomas McN... Car service FREE be 8:38am A TWITTER-ONLY service Outo... Re: Julia's Wedding 7:40am Gillian Ra: PTA Meeting B/29 Jacqualine St... Coffee tomorrow? 9/20 Jesse Johnst... Club News PHONE. members@g... & x S % ت f 9 70 G e 5 ? 2 7 P ٥ R 7 E T W O 3 V 4 H F G D S A N M N B x e — Source

2

Blockbuster CFO Barry McCarthy

1

Brie Larson

Brie Larson had a short-lived singing career. 17 BRE Longon Edally CRACKED.COM Her album Finally out of P.E. released in 2005 focused on the ups and downs of being a teenager, and only sold 4,000 copies in the US. — Source

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