The 14 Funniest Screw in a Light-Bulb Jokes Ever Told
The light-bulb joke can’t be more than 144 years old, but in that relatively brief time, it’s proven to be one of the most diverse burns in the known roasting universe. Here are a few of the best (and weirdest)…
Germans
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. We're very efficient but not funny.
A NYC Website Published This After the New York City Housing Authority Was Caught Charging Exorbitant Fees
How much does it cost NYCHA to change a light bulb?
In one case, more than $708 per bulb.
That’s the rate the housing authority paid one vendor, who submitted a total bill of $4,250 to replace six LED bulbs and covers at Throggs Neck Houses in the Bronx, according to records reviewed by THE CITY.
Drunk People
How many drunks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four: one to hold the light bulb and three to drink until the room spins.
Time Travelers
One.
How many time travelers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Stephen Fry’s Take
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the cock — father — ladder!
Marxists
How many Marxists does it take to screw in a proletariat light bulb?
None. The proletariat light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Psychiatrists
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb will change when it’s ready
Psychiatrists: Round Two
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really want to change.
Flies
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but don’t ask me how they got in there.
Goku
How many Saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?
Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!
Mancunians
How many Manchester United fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't. They just talk about how good the old one was.
‘The Village Voice’ Held a $200 Light-Bulb Joke Contest During the 1979 Iran Hostage Crisis. This Was the Winner:
How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb?
You send us the prize money, and we’ll tell you the answer.
Norm Macdonald Made Tom Green Deliver This Classic
Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. But I invented the light bulb up my ass.
And Finally, a Medley of Wikipedia Editor Jokes, Written by an Actual Wikipedia Editor
How many Wikipedians does it take to change a light bulb?
One to notice it went out, and slap a {{Light bulb is burned out}} tag on it.
One to patrol Category:Light bulbs that are burned out, and remove them all with an automated script.
One to finally replace the light bulb manually.
One to revert the replacement, with the message “Please gain consensus before removing any light bulbs.”
One to delete this page, never to be seen again.
(All told, this editor counts 623 Wikipedians.)
