14 Child-Friendly Jokes That Will Have You Rolling Your Eyes Into the Back of Your Skull

We need one of those long-term nuclear waste warning plaques, but for this list
14 Child-Friendly Jokes That Will Have You Rolling Your Eyes Into the Back of Your Skull

Don’t blame me, you’re the one who clicked into this list! I laid it all out for you in the title. If you decided to open this page, and then read these jokes? That’s on you, brother.

If You Can Afford to Play Golf, You Can Afford a Good Tailor

Why did the golfer change his pants?

Because he got a hole in one!

El Baldiniho Is Excited About His New Tour

“I’m doing a tour of the U.K. teaching people how to do Moroccan cooking. I’ve just added a few dates.”

Children Love a Scalding Hot Baptism Font

How do you make holy water? You boil the Hell out of it.

Samantha Baines’ Exercise Routine

“When on the rink, I always take the shape of the number eight. Well, they do call it figure skating.”

A Fool and His Money, Etc. Etc.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Robert Thomas’ Scientific Study

“I did an experiment on the effects of alcohol. The results were staggering.”

Yeah, Great, Make Children Imagine a Snowman and a Vampire Mating

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Julian Lee’s Cruel Irony

“I read in the newspaper that the man who invented the needle-threading machine is in a coma. In a cruel twist of fate, he won’t pull through.”

Zombie Beauty Standards Are Getting Out of Hand

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?


Colin Leggo’s History Lesson

“The leader of the Roman Empire asked what they call frozen rain. Hail, Caesar.”

Children Love to Imagine the Horrors of the Deep

What’s at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck!

Adele Cliff Has One That’ll Freeze Their Little Brains in Their Little Skulls

“What happens when a French footballer breaks 100 eggs for a goal celebration? They get cent oeuf.”

It’s Never Too Early to Teach Children Fashion

What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?


Okay, This Is Only Child-Friendly Assuming Said Child Doesn’t Know About Princess Diana

“After they marry, Harry and Meghan are going to have a child. They’re going to call him Seatbelt. It’s what his mother would have wanted.”

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