14 Pickup Lines That Are So Bad, They’re Funny

Want to embarrass yourself in a public setting? Try these pickup lines!
14 Pickup Lines That Are So Bad, They’re Funny

Everybody loves a good pickup line! What could be more appealing than a pun, dripping with desperation, wrapped in irony and whispered in your ear?

Grant Cotter on the Proverbial Butterflies in the Stomach

“If we went on a date, I’d eat mothballs before I picked you up, because I know you’d be giving me butterflies in my stomach.”

Colin Quinn on the Weightiness of Cunnilingus

“Hey miss, sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.”

Keith Robinson on a Different Kind of MapQuest

“What I used to say when I was driving was, when I was stopped at a light and I’d see a good looking lady, I’d beep and when they’d roll their window down I’d say, ‘I’m a little lost. Do you happen to have directions to your heart?’”

Brad Williams With a Very 1990s Reference

“You remind me of a bottle of Snapple, because you’re made from the best stuff on Earth.”

Jen Murphy With a Very 1980s Reference

“Can you make like baby Jessica and fall into my hole?”

Shaun Latham Likes to Get Very Saccharine

“I just drop a sugar packet and say, ‘Hey, you dropped your name tag.’ Then I pick up the sugar packet and give it to her.”

Matt Fulchiron Shoots for the Stars

“Is your father a thief? No? Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?”

Matt Iseman Brings the Straight Cheese

“Damn girl, I wish I were you so I could make love to me.”

Cory and Chad, aka The Smash Brothers, Like to Get Straight to the Point

“Hey, you want a shot of Fireball? We should totally fuck after this.”

Chris Millhouse, Also Getting Straight to the Point

“Relax, I’m not trying to hit on you. I’m trying to fuck you.”

Shawn Halpin on Trying to Find What He’s Lost

“I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?”

Lahna Turner on the Shape of Things

“I’m a little out of shape, but there’s still pleasure to be had from my body.”

Suli McCullough Finds a Way to Bring Action Movies into the Mix

“You must be a fan of martial arts because Jean-Claude Van Dammmmmn you’re fine!”

Mariya Alexander on Seeking Parental Approval

“Damn boy, are you my parents’ approval? Because I’m starving for you.”

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?