14 Scathing Quips That Knocked Someone Down a Peg
Keep these in your back pocket in case you run into one of these wildly successful entertainers, athletes or assholes at a bar or something.
Kat Williams on Carrot Top
He said he looks like “if Ronald McDonald fucked Wendy’s.”
Seth MacFarlane Called Out Donald Trump for Being a Nepo Baby Failson
“For all of his self-starter bullshit, he’s basically Jaden Smith with a combover.”
Lisa Lampanelli Called Out Trump for Being a Sex Pest, Five Years Before the ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape Dropped
“You’ve ruined more models’ lives than bulimia. You’ve disappointed more women than Sex and the City 2.”
Joan Rivers Liked to Roast Herself, So No One Could Get One Over on Her. That Didn’t Stop Greg Giraldo from Trying
“What have you done to your upper lip, did you blow a beehive? Holy shit, you look like Stephen Tyler fucked a life raft.”
Whitney Cummings’ Lisa Lampanelli Diss Is Pretty ‘90s Specific
“Your vagina is like a bad movie — it’s opened wide and all the Wayans brothers have been in it.”
Jeff Ross to a Scrawny-Looking Flava Flav
“Starving children send you 50 cents a day.”
Greg Giraldo to Hulk Hogan
“I can’t imagine why your wife left you — you’re an old man who dresses like a Hooters waitress.”
Seth MacFarlane After Seeing Hogan’s Reactions
“Hulk, later on, when these jokes are explained to you, you’re gonna be so pissed.”
That Same Roast, Jeff Ross Put MacFarlane in His Place
“South Park called… they want their everything back.”
And Gilbert Gottfried Piled On
“Come on everyone, take it easy on Seth. It’s gotta be hard for him to do a roast, especially if The Simpsons haven’t done it yet.”
Greg Giraldo Aimed at MacFarlane Too, But Actually Hit Lindsay Lohan
“I do love that Stewie character on your show. He’s great. You made all your money ‘cause you created a fucked-up criminal baby. You’re like Michael Lohan.”
Jeff Ross Put Filthy Father Figure Bob Saget on Blast
“Full House should've been called Blackjack ‘cause you hit on the Olsens when they were eight, you didn't stop ‘til they were 21.”
John Stamos Said That Saget at Least Had Some Consistency in His Career
Specifically on hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos: “Your entire job consisted of saying, ‘Take a look at this.’ Which is what he used to say to Mary-Kate Olsen in her dressing room.”
After Enduring a Night of Roasting, Saget Put Everyone in Their Place in His Signature Style
“Fuck you all, and suck my hundred million dollar cock.”
