15 Viral Insults to Add to Your Repertoire
Twitter is a nearly two-decade-long, public access roast battle. If you’re looking for a highly specific burn or a powerful dunk, it’s like the Library of Alexandria. We’ve compiled some of the most brutal viral insults that have ever crawled out of that cesspool.
Emonormie ’s Lethal Snipe at Lin Manuel-Miranda
“I can’t explain it, but Lin-Manuel Miranda and Scrappy-Doo exude the same insidious energy.”
Succzession ’s Brutal Takedown of Pop-Rock Prince Jack Antonoff
“Why does Jack Antonoff wear the same glasses babies wear when they’re born with astigmatism?”
Zackfox Saw Trouble Coming a Mile Away Back in 2018
“Highly recommend getting off the Kanye train before it inevitably reaches the ‘Hitler was a good guy’ stop.”
Legallyisisane Is No Fun at Parties, or Anywhere Else, Really
“Don’t ask me to smoke. When I get high, I start acting like Kamala Harris.”
Meghan Trainor Catching Strays from Some Guy Named Jordanboodie
“I love how music can take you to another place. For example, Meghan Trainor is playing in this cafe so now I’m going to a different cafe.”
NancyDurrant Shared an IRL Roast She Once Received
“Seated next to an elderly male American artist at a dinner. Chatting for maybe 15 minutes. Pause. He leans back slightly, looks appraisingly at me and says: ‘You know, you’re actually very attractive. It’s not obvious at first.’”
FillWerrell Dunking on Justin Bieber’s Wispy Blond Dreadlocks
“Bieber’s hair looks like the Grinch’s Fingers.”
A Rare Effective Corporate Burn
JayFeliipe fired off a solid diss: “Immediate turnoff if a girl’s mobile network is Tesco Mobile.”
Then the official Tesco Mobile account resorted to mutually assured destruction: “Are you really in a position to be turning girls away?”
Tesco Mobile Double Feature!
A Twitter user (who will not be named, as getting dunked on by a corporate account is punishment enough) tweeted, “When you call someone, and it goes through to their Tesco Mobile Voicemail… LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.”
Again, Tesco Mobile hit ‘em right back with: “When you realise your mates are ignoring you… LOOOOOOOOOL.”
DanaSchwartzzz Has Distilled Taylor Swift Down to Her Purest Essence
“If Taylor Swift weren’t famous, she’d be the most passive-aggressive mom at preschool.”
This Isn’t the Most Detestable Thing About Johnny Depp, But Robfee ’s Point Stands Nonetheless
“Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn’t even have all his thumb rings off yet.”
Rainn Wilson Parodied His Fellow Celebs Who Announce Their Despondent Exodus and Triumphant Return to Twitter, By Tweeting These Just Minutes Apart
“I have decided to quit Twitter. It’s just too toxic and a time-suck. Degrading to my self-esteem. I will miss all my friends! Goodbye forever.”
“I’ve decided to return to Twitter. I will not let my voice be silenced by the toxic bullies. So good to be back! It’s a whole new chapter!”
Zackfox Saw a Viral Video About a Gilded Hamburger Bun and Couldn’t Remain Silent
Now, white people consume more than their fair share of sodium, but Fox’s broader point about spiceless meals remains valid: “White people will eat everything on the periodic table except salt.”
Mara Wilson Points Out a Rarely-Cited But Glaring Character Flaw in a Beloved Disney Princess
“Belle could have easily set up some kind of literacy program in her town instead of being a pretentious snit about it.”
Before Neil deGrasse Tyson Was An Absolute Dunk Magnet Himself, He Had Some Pretty Solid Roasting Chops (For a Smarmy Know-It-All)
“Just saw Balls of Fury. If I can ever manipulate time, the first thing I will do is restore the two hours I spent watching it.”
