13 Hall-of-Fame Worthy Jokes from Andy Kindler
There’s a particular type of comedian that pops into your head when you hear the term “a comedian’s comedian.” It’s the kind of comic with jokes and a style that cause their peers to pause in admiration from behind the curtain. One name that wholly embodies the term is Andy Kindler.
Since 1987, Kindler has showcased his skills in every bar, club and theater imaginable. It’s this consistent comedic body of work that’s led to him giving an annual “State of the Industry Address” at the Just for Laughs festival, and today has us diving into some of his funniest jokes and moments along his multi-decade career...
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On Sitcoms
“Also, my situation comedy idea, the situation is partly real. Some kind of reality sneaks into the show. Would it kill anybody...? Everybody I know is either married or lives alone, except on TV, an abandoned father meets his gay daughter, and they move in with their aunt who— every show! What is life really like? Life is really like a million things except for TV shows. ‘What’s your TV show?’ ‘It’s about a guy, he gets up, and he has to eat chicken EVERY DAY… and he’s… Uh, he’s always angry because the chicken’s never right for him… and he meets a woman… who… is a VEGAN! Who MOVES IN! With the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys guys who MOVE OUT and we… film the making of it at the same time.”
On Branding
On Being a Low-Drawing Comedian
“Wow, I never play a room like this, and when I say ‘like this,’ I mean ‘full of people.’ I’m currently on my ‘Half-A-House Tour.’ I refuse to sell more than half of the available tickets at any venue that I play. Thirty to 40 people can’t be wrong!”
On Tinder
On His Acid Trip
Kindler shared with Eugene Mirman a story about the time he and his buddy in college tripped on acid in a TRUE STORY DON’T DISPUTE IT.
As Chris Jericho’s Agent
Kindler played on-again, off-again wrestler Chris Jericho’s acting agent in a comedy series that poked fun at Jericho’s acting career in CBC’s But I’m Chris Jericho. Kindler is hilarious in parodying every agent he’s ever encountered.
On Apps
“They have an app now where if it’s the winter, and it snows, and you’re elderly, you can turn the app on, and within five minutes, someone will come to your house and shovel your walk. Or they will murder you with a shovel! They know you can’t shovel your walk, they know that you’re weak and they know where you live!”
On Jimmy Fallon
“They’re opening up the new Jimmy Fallon ride at Universal Studios. You have to be this (lifts hand) easily amused to ride it. And it starts out so great, so great, so great, and then it goes nowhere. It goes up, up, up, up, up, and then tousles your hair. Parents love it because it’s safe. No risks.”
On Slogans
On Small Town Murder
“How come on Dateline, people in small towns don’t think there’s murder? ‘We here in Youngstown, Ohio, we never locked our doors, and we like to leave our wallets on the lawn to air out at night.’”
Weekend at Mort’s!
One of Kindler’s recurring roles is playing neighbor and funeral home director Mort on Bob’s Burgers. Kindler shines as the good-natured yet macabre Belcher family friend.
King of Premises
Andy performed a metacommentary on stand-up by doing a stand-up set about his stand-up set as he was doing his stand-up set.
When He Performed as a Hologram
In a historical moment, Kindler was the first comedian to perform a stand-up set via hologram at the 2022 Just for Laughs festival in Montreal while he was actually performing in Los Angeles.
