39 Random Bits of Trivia We’ve Trained to Eat Out of Our Palm and Roll Over When Instructed

A show about a fact whisperer probably wouldn’t be as popular as that one about the dog whisperer. What was that show called again? We forget. 

It’s too bad, because we’re top-notch fact whisperers. Ugh! Why are none of our talents financially fruitful? We’re great at shadow puppets, and we can do a spot-on impression of the dad from Shelbyville on The Simpsons. We’re told that these would make for a terrible live show, so maybe we’ll stick with fact-whispering. It keeps us intellectually rich, and it feels good to offer you this charitable donation right here.