12 Weird Candies Handed to You By Well-Meaning Elderly Couples

What is this, a nun’s cheat day?

This feels like a relic from the day they invented both wax and food coloring. Even better, they leak!

The color combo is fitting, but there’s Halloween versions of every candy now, so no need. Not to mention, these are a slap in the face when you know Reese’s were right next to them.

Imagine the look of disappointment on your orthodontist’s face when you told them you broke your braces on one of these.

It’s like biting into a dusty copy of The Grapes of Wrath.

I never even unwrapped one of these because the density terrified me. They’d hit the side of your Halloween bucket and sound like a gunshot. For all I know, they’re just cubes of pure tungsten.

First of all, they took up entirely too much space that could have been afforded to other candies. Secondly, massive fake peanuts that are banana-flavored? Are you trying to cause a psychotic break?

Oh, good. Eight kernels of something I don’t really want, and two sticky peanuts that’ll end up attached to my couch.

Was Cracker Jack too sinful? My mom’s throwing anything self-serve out anyways because of the Dateline episode she just watched.

Half of this name is a lie.

I don’t know why, but the whole vibe of these things makes them seem like something you’d keep under the sink and use to clear a drain.

Oh, no… they’re very confused, and they think you’re their son.