Roasting 12 Innocent Woodland Creatures Into Oblivion

The real picture of agility there, pal. This looks like when you’re leaning on the bar, fading into a blackout and trying to convince a bouncer you’re fine.

If someone took a picture of me picking something up while nude and soaking wet it would be sufficient blackmail material to make me commit crimes against the state. You can practically hear him quietly going “hurgh” like an old dad moving a lawn chair into the sun.

This is the face of someone who’s sort of just standing in a conversation, but hasn’t said anything in 20 minutes and hopes no one notices and asks him to leave.

You’re standing totally normal, dude. Legs looking the right length and everything. This is what I think I look like high looking at the candy in CVS.

Caught you pretending to be human, idiot. Why does it look like you spotted him waddling across the bathroom to get more toilet paper from under the sink?

Oh no, did mom forget to pick you up from school because she’s on a hot streak at the bingo hall again? Looks like another long car ride home with the janitor.

Little overdressed, aren’t we? It's like one of the guys who shows up for his first camping trip with a $3k technical climbing jacket that still smells like a Macy’s.

You can tell just by looking at him that he’s an absolute doormat. The amount of wrong DoorDash orders this thing has eaten to avoid confrontation is in the hundreds.

You know there’s four other deer sending this picture to each other three times a day in a group chat.

This is the kind of picture you see in your girlfriend’s Instagram Message Requests folder. Open it up, and it’s 14 versions of “hey,” an unsolicited dick pic, and then he blocked her.

The face of a neighbor you’ve never spoken to, answering the door after his latex bodysuit is accidentally delivered to your house instead.

What a fat little dumbass.