12 Trivia Tidbits for Wednesday, June 12, 2024
One puff of these factoids and you’ll be in another dimension, man.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
‘Longevity Vacationing’ Is the Hot New Trend for Rich Idiots
This insane new industry is projected to grift $1 trillion from rich bozos in 2024, with gentri-vacations to “Blue Zones” (i.e., “exotic” communities who live abnormally long), and $40,000 cell therapy packages at high-end resorts.
Would You Turn Down $40 Million to Stay in College?
Dan Hurley, head coach of the University of Connecticut’s back-to-back national champion basketball team, turned down an offer to coach the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA, opting to stay in college and go for the three-peat. His overall deal at UConn totals about $30 million, but he was offered $70 million to coach in the pros.
Cops and Cybertrucks: A Match Made in Ostentatious Masculinity Heaven
Tesla is having trouble offloading its fleet of asshole Gundams, but one California company figured out how to get local police stations across the country to shell out their money: “tactical response Cybertrucks.”
A Second Head of State Has Gone Missing
Less than a month after Iran’s president died in a freak helicopter crash, the vice president of Malawi has gone missing, after his military plane disappeared from radar and never landed. The president was supposed to fly to the Bahamas shortly after, but got cold feet and canceled his flight.
Which State Pays the Most Per Prisoner?
The prison-industrial complex is a cash cow, but not for the average taxpayer. Massachusetts has the lowest incarceration rate, but tops the list of cost per prisoner at $307k a year. Most of that goes to expenses like officer salaries, and then frivolities like health care and food vendors.
Caitlin Clark Is Already Having a Measurable Impact on the WNBA
The league has reported the best attendance numbers in 26 years, and the highest early-season television viewership of all time in Clark’s rookie season.
Zebrafish Can Heal Their Own Heart Attacks
First the bad news: Zebrafish get heart attacks, apparently. But scientists have pinpointed the mechanism they use to heal and remove scar tissue after such a heart injury, and they’re hopeful it can lead to significant treatments in human patients.
The American Restaurant Industry Has Recovered From the Pandemic, and Is Having Its Best Year Ever
The industry is on track to rake in $1.1 trillion, far higher than 2019’s $864 billion. Updated technology, and the takeout renaissance sparked by lockdown, seem to be behind the rally.
We’ve Found Water on Mars
Scientists believe they’ve discovered around 150,000 tons of water, in the form of frost, at the tops of Mars’ largest volcanoes. It’s unclear if we’d ever be able to harvest it, but it does rewrite the books on the planet’s climate history.
Martha’s Vineyard Is Critically Low on Weed
Federal law prohibits transportation of cannabis across the sea, which is broadly considered the only way onto get something to an island. And the one business that was actually growing weed on the island is shutting down, leaving dispensaries productless.
Wood and Corn Might Replace Steel
A new 3D-printable substance made of “corn residue and wood flour” is a promising, bizarrely strong and eco-friendly replacement for steel and concrete in construction.
Elephants Have Names
A new study shows that elephants call to each other with unique vocalizations, as we already know dolphins do. It took us so long to notice because it’s not in their high-range waling, but in their super-low rumbling.