12 Bits of Trivia We Found Tattooed All Over Our Body When We Woke Up This Morning
The First Known Shitposter in History
Onomacritus, a Greek from the 5th century B.C., wasn’t an oracle himself, but his job was to catalogue decrees given by oracles. After a while, he started writing up his own little prophecies, and slipping them into the “real” ones, making him the first forger in recorded history.
The Worst Year in History for Video-Game Marketing
In 2007, Acclaim Entertainment offered $10,000 to anyone who would name their baby “Turok,” and 500 pounds to any Brit who legally changed their own name to the same. That year, they also pulled an “early April Fools joke” by offering to buy ad space on gravestones to promote their horror game ShadowMan 2.
SeaWorld’s Hamfisted Attempt at PR
After the 2013 documentary Blackfish shattered SeaWorld’s wholesome image, the Orlando Business Journal polled its readers and found that most people’s opinion of the brand hadn’t changed. But a reporter for the paper dug into the responses and immediately saw a huge chunk had come from one IP address, hosted by seaworld.com. SeaWorld said they had no clue how that happened, but when the poll was redone with that address blocked, they found that most respondents had lost faith in the park.
The BBC’s Mean-Spirited Prequel to War of the Worlds
While the 1938 broadcast of War of the Worlds was more of a misunderstanding than a prank, one BBC commentator made up a bunch of random crimes and called it a “joke.” In 1926, Father Ronald Knox took to the airwaves and described a mob of unemployed people rioting, destroying Big Ben and murdering a priest. It was a snowy day, which caused lots of people’s newspaper delivery to be delayed, so more people than usual were tuned in to hear the news.
The ‘Wizard of Oz’ Guy’s First Book Was Unimaginably Boring
Author L. Frank Baum wrote The Wonderful Wizard of Oz in 1900. But in the 1880s, he wrote a series of articles for The Poultry World, which were later compiled and published as The Book of the Hamburgs: A Brief Treatise Upon the Mating, Rearing and Management of the Different Varieties of Hamburgs. Hamburgs are rare, fancy chickens.
President Obama Gave a Speech to a Robert E. Lee Fan Club
The Alfalfa Club is a JV cult of ultra-wealthy, powerful people (Black people were allowed in 1974, and women were allowed in 1994). It’s customary for presidents to deliver an address at their yearly banquet, and when it was Obama’s turn, he said, “This dinner began almost 100 years ago as a way to celebrate the birthday of General Robert E. Lee. If he were here with us tonight, the general would be 202 years old — and very confused.”
5,500-Year-Old Tattoos
The oldest intact human body ever discovered is Otzi the Iceman, a man who lived around 3,500 B.C. and whose body was found reasonably well-preserved in the Alps. Scientists have been able to detect 61 tattoos on his body, mainly a series of X-shaped cuts that had charcoal rubbed in. It’s speculated that they were for pain relief rather than being strictly aesthetic.
A Guatemalan Twist on Spring Cleaning
The Burning of the Devil is a Guatemalan tradition where people pile all their garbage and unwanted personal items in front of their house, top it with an effigy of the devil — either homemade or store bought — and light it all on fire. It occurs on December 7th, to clear out the devil and make room for Jesus.
King Edward VII’s Libido Drove a Woman Crazy (Legally Speaking)
A British parliamentarian filed for divorce when his wife admitted to having an affair with none other than Edward VII (while he was still Prince of Wales). Edward testified in court that the two hadn’t had an affair, even though his love letter was presented as evidence. The court believed him (or at least pretended to), agreeing that the woman must be suffering from postpartum mania to believe she’d fucked the prince, and sent her to an asylum.
The Volcano With Blue Lava
Kawah Ijen is an Indonesian volcano that has an active sulfur mine built into it. Cooled sulfur is bright yellow, but molten sulfur is fluorescent blue, and the miners use the light of the blue lava-like substance to help harvest the portions that have cooled.
A Cult Founded on Spell Checking
The Urantia Book, according to its adherents in the Urantia Foundation, was dictated by aliens (via a sleeping human) and details the real version of Christianity — God is at the centermost of seven concentric celestial rings, and Jesus’ real name is Michael. Chicago doctor W.S. Sadler recruited a few people to help him spell-check this book, and flipped his little book club into a full-blown cult.
The First Intentional Clinical Trial Was Done on Seasick Sailors
Dr. James Lind was presented with 12 sailors suffering from “distemper at sea,” and decided to section them off and try a few different remedies. Most got real garbage treatments like vinegar and sea water, but one lucky pair was given citrus fruits, which proved to almost immediately cure them.