23 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of November 27, 2023

One poor chap isn’t too pleased with Tim Cook and the graphic designers behind Apple’s expansive emoji catalog. Teddy Cottle, a glasses-wearing 10-year-old from Oxfordshire, started a “No Nerd Emoji” petition in response to Apple’s toothy grinning, glasses-wearing emoji, which he finds “offensive.” Cottle also wrote that he thinks “people who wear glasses are cool” and expressed worry that first-time glasses-wearers would think they’ll look like “rabbits or rats.” Not only is he upset with the design of the emoji, but the nomenclature as well, and suggests calling it the “Genius” emoji as opposed to its current name. 

Taking on the tech giant at such a young age is admirable and could perhaps cement a legacy for the little genius if he’s successful. But at the moment, his legacy is the fact that he’s a spitting image of the emoji — like frighteningly so.

The young emoji hater isn’t the only one feeling the heat lately either. This week’s burns — whether about the world’s most noxious gas, or the harrowing thought of seeing a Step Brothers actor in the battlefield — are hotter than where Henry Kissinger resides right now.