28 of the Funniest Tweets from November 30, 2023

Those taters are going for a ride
28 of the Funniest Tweets from November 30, 2023

It’s officially the greatest time of year: Variety has announced their newest Actors on Actors episodes. With their 19th iteration of award contenders in conversation, the publication wasn’t too subtle about hinting at one pairing: Margot Robbie and Cillian Murphy. Between the black-and-pink pillows in the announcement photo and the official Variety account tweeting the famous black-and-pink houses just off the Santa Monica Pier, it became clear as day that the dream of an Oppenheimer-Barbie crossover event was finally going to be realized. A few other pairings joining the Barbenheimer duo include Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo, Natalie Portman and Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott and Greta Lee. The 12 conversations will air daily starting December 4th. 

Next year’s Actors on Actors may see Sebastian Stan back in the fray. The actor, who previously appeared on the series across from Morning Show star Jennifer Aniston, has signed on for a role that already has people talking. He will portray a younger version of the funniest Twitter user to ever become president: Donald Trump. Ali Abbasi’s aptly titled biopic The Apprentice charts the embattled mogul’s immoral and meteoric rise in the 1970s and 1980s, featuring Succession’s Jeremy Strong as Red Scare lawyer Roy Cohn and Borat’s Maria Bakalova as Trump’s first wife Ivana. 

On the timeline, these users prove that it wouldn’t be shocking to see some of them on a comedian’s roundtable one day. Today’s funny tweets include those about a beautiful way to tell someone you hate them, an Irishman’s favorite train and wise wisdom from Werner Herzog. 

off-brand pepto bismol's bes... 16h ... just noticed this on the bottom of my soap? 2216 SDB7 11:41 I JUST WANT TO SAY HI 15 239 8,021 122K
gordon @gordonramashray 14h listening to songs for 30k+ minutes per year? afraid to hear your own thoughts beautiful? 282 46.3K 11K del 1.5M
Anton Chigurh Updates @miku... 1h ... he think everything a fuckin game... FILM UPOATES Film Updates @FilmUpd.... 1h Emma Stone and Bradley Cooper have been paired up for Variety's Actors On Actors 13 157 4,364 143K
no context memes @weird... 20h ... i hear a funny phrase make it my personality trait for 3 months 197 7,277 59.4K 1.8M
mama ka Dokati @UzuKanY.... 8h ... My little brother refused to cut and share his birthday cake at school today because his best friend was absent. Не took the whole cake back home 279 4,485 34.7K del 1.2M
zach silberberg @zachsilberb... 21h ... havent seen anyone share their Sisyphus Wrapped this year! who else got higher than expected? You pushed the rock up the mountain 1,830 times! You never made it to the top though... maybe next year! 23 3,294 20.9K 497K
youngest known hag @glamde... 1h ... Being an ipad baby must be soo exciting imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing candy crush 1 92 1,822 41.7K
Singto Conley DISTANT FUTURE OUT NOW 1d ... redemption arc EST/992 TADMAN Bubblicious Sharetea BALLS RESTORED Sharetea EST.1992 TAIWAN Bubblicious ALT x_c4tb0yTHOTi3_x @vampiric_shirin - 4d seeing boba milk tea neutered is so scary GIVE HER BALLS BACK twitter.com/singtoconley/s... 1.7K 6 18K 620K
Dildo Baggins @EmmaTolkin 13h Someone take my fucking queer card away just googled how many minutes are in a year aims IS SEEING TAYLOR SWIFT @shimm... 1d This is my greatest achievement of all time #SpotifyWrapped2023 Top 0.001% Listener of Taylor Swift Minutes Listened 290,403 108 984 24K 2.6M
bald ann dowd @ali_sivi • 15h this is how the crowd felt when hannah montana took off her wig G. L. @gldivittorio - 1 15h It has been the honor of a lifetime Edit profile Is Henry Kissinger Dead Yet? @DidKissingerD1e Live updates on if Henry Kissinger is finally dead or not. Joined December 2021 7 Following 30.4K Followers Media Likes Posts Replies Highlights Is Henry Kissinger Dead Yet? @DidK... .1h ... YES 2.3K 66K 154K 5M Is Henry Kissinger Dead Yet? @DidK... .1d ... No and despite everyone's thoughts and prayers, this account will be two years old next week 194 595
Tim Popp, Six, Squish, Uh uh... @popphits. 15h Has any character ever demonstrated a greater sense of urgency than the woman who needed six eggs? I was 4 without the concept of strife yet in me when I first saw the film and yet I understood that consequences of her failure would be dire. 118K 23 180 2.7K
$lap @slvppy 19h Y'ALL WEARING DAT $40 BUTTON OUT $ 40 $ 80 $ 200 Exit CARD SUNG 94 1.6K 35K 1.8M
AI Jairo I Fúnez-Flores @Jairo_I_Funez 15h ... You know damn well they're about to organize a coup against the devil. 157 6.6K 46K 1.3M
industry plant @offthewallsteph - 13h me when im peeing and realize im drunk 2 0:01 From Damnz (fan.) 64 9.8K 64K 2.5M
Definitely not the WOAT @ArlingtonBro.23h ... Ladies who want me? Spotify X You jacked off for 81,501 minutes. That's 56 days nonstop. 7 311 4.2K 360K
$3 PBR tallboy @tallboy_pbr.1d bro wtf You had sex o times this year You absolute fucking loser... Minutes had sex Top Genre Indie pop 0 18 1.3K 9.5K 329K
1989 Annie WuTS (all socials: @annie_wu_22) @Anni... 15h ... this is how i be reading everyone's joyous tweets about a man dying 7 110 1.3K 28K
Joey Hannum @joeyhannum 16h ... Henry Kissinger entering his dead era LATINOS LATINOS for Cá SELINA SE AN INOS - LAT AMERICAN INA JOURNEY 0:00 From veep reactions 8 179 1.8K 151K
Hurt CoPain @SaeedDiCaprio . 4h ... all it took them was 8 minutes of googling to hate kissinger LMFAOOO What did kissinger do to burn in hell? 10:21 PM Nevermind 10:29 PM Accept Block or report Delete 189 4.9K 870K 59K
All Watched Over By Machines of Drum and В... . 16h ... Texting a hot girl: Kissinger's dead let's fuck. Texting my buddies: Kissinger's dead let's fuck. Texting my boss: Kissinger's dead I'm not coming in tomorrow also let's fuck. 16 2K 15K 408K
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley 16h  JIMMY CARTER WINS 16 1.1K 7.5K 176K
NM @KingSeanSwae.8h Goodnight @1sm4444.2d girls will cry over guys who look like this 597 2,516 27.2K 1.2M
Tweets of Cats @Tweets... 20h ... jim time @urvillageidiot he has it all but it cost him everything SWEE EAT] SPOILED jump LOVE 69 5,588 87.3K del 2.3M
michael @FilledwithUrine-17h ... *tucks your hair behind your ear* i fucking hate you 63 6,852 29.7K del 1M
squid @NatsSquid 14h ... my friend texted me rip bozo and so i was trying to figure out who died and i thought he was clowning the world's saddest elephant ogle died x Images News Videos Shopping Maps Books Flights Finance Top stories Philippines' lone elephant Mali has died New York Daily News World's saddest elephant dies at Manila Zoo after decades alone in captivity 26 mins ago New York Post Mali, 'world's saddest CBS News elephant, dies after 33 Mali, dubbed the world's saddest elephant, solitary years at ZOO has died after decades in captivity at the... 10 hours
TurkessaAli @TurkessaAli - 1 14h ... something wrong with my sister fr Today 9:51 PM yk dad in the hospital fr? Read 9:52 PM no but can u do my hair 505 2,635 44.1K 1.3M

Image provided by Cracked

The author, Séamas O'Reilly @... 1h ... what's the best email you've ever received? i'll go first Do you think that horses used in films know that they are in a film? Séamas O'Reilly Herzog Werner D H to me Dear Seamas O'Reilly, my answer to your question is: no. Best, Werner Herzog 30 492 5,333 186K
Pia Fantastic @Pia_Fantast... 19h noon a few days ago I was on BART late at night, and there was just like four seats full of unattended potatoes ALT 341 2,421 23K 750K

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