15 Viral Jokes From the Front Lines of Our Capitalist Hellscape
This list is a salute to those brave politicians, media figures and other powerful folks who boldly stand up in front of the suffering masses and declare: “I’m a capitalist!” Cool man, glad that’s working out for you. Meanwhile, here’s how the drones who provide that capital feel about the brilliant economic experiment that’s commodifying their humanity and torching the planet…
Mycorporatebestie Doesn’t Remember This Chapter in Math Class
Corporate math: record profits! + billions in revenue! = 0% raises
Zachsilberberg Says the Best Boss is a Quiet Boss
told my boss i was going on a date next week. she asked if i was taking my date “to the halloween store.” i asked what she meant. she refused to elaborate.
lenubienne Reminds Us to Always Act Our Wage
Telling my boss “yes,” when they asked if I speak Spanish fluently and following it up with, “but not for free,” has been the highlight of my day, so far.
EmployeeTears ’ Fearless HR Lady Sadly Proves That HR Is Not Your Friend
On her last day, my HR lady printed out an excel list with everyone’s salary on it and left it in the printer tray. Absolute legend…
Calebsaysthings Says We Need to Get Back in Tune with Our Circadian Rhythms
last week somebody suggested 9 am to me as a meeting time and i laughed out loud. this is not the NAVY bitch. 9 am is still snug as a bug in a rug hours. please be serious.
_dealjr Loves When a Corporation Declares Ownership Over a Human’s Time on This Precious Earth
once I left work at 5:29pm and came into an email the next day from my boss telling me I needed to take it off my lunch or stay til 5:31pm and that’s the moment my villain origin story began
Ginnyhogan_ Isn’t Psyched About the Whole Return-to-Office Thing
If you work from home, you might go multiple days without speaking to another human being, but there are downsides too
YuckyTom Is Being Smothered!
omfg my boss is obsessed with me
- Are you coming to work today?
- umm i was literally just there yesterday??
Sylveeya01 Is Grateful for a Compassionate Manager
My coworker started crying because her boyfriend broke up with her through a text and my manager said “that’s why we stay off our phones at work”
What _RobertSchultz Doesn’t Realize Is That Workers Operate at Peak Performance When They Have to Make Small Talk with the C-Suite in Exchange for the Occasional Pizza Party
my boss was like “people working from home are just pretending to work” and it’s like, dude, what do you think i’m doing in the office?
_layaah Has Proof That We’re All Playing the Same Game Here
My manager sharing her screen and she’s looking for jobs
NXHLVS Hit the Nail on the Head
Anyone else stuck in this weird cycle where work is so exhausting that your hobbies feel like too much work so you don’t do them then you go back to work upset that you didn’t take time to do the things you like and rinse and repeat?
Stevethesage Pinpointed the Worst Part of Changing Jobs
being new at a job is so embarrassing for no reason
Robpertray Has the Remedy to Capitalism All Mapped Out
can you imagine being a human during the paleolithic age just eating salmon and berries and storytelling around campfires and star gazing … no jobs no traffic no ads no poverty no capitalism-caused traumas just pure vibes
And Dickvanyikes Has Identified an Effective, Temporary Analgesic for the Symptoms of Capitalism
I’ve got 99 problems and basically all of them could be solved by a salary increase