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28 Fast-Food Items That Were a Mistake to Eat, Let Alone Create

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

December 11, 2023

28 Fast-Food Items That Were a Mistake to Eat, Let Alone Create

When we're in need of a quick, cheap and hot meal (and/or we’ve had a lot to drink) we’re not necessarily worried about the culinary quality. A simple ball of grease in the shape of a hamburger is usually enough to get us from point A to point B. Still, every now and again, fast-food companies get a wild hair up their collective butts and decide to try something a little more creative. And that’s how items like the McSpaghetti or the KFC Double Down end up on a list like this one.

Are we saying that fast-food restaurants should just stick to what they’re good at (cheap drunk food) and never get ambitious or creative ever again? Well, if the alternative is more things like a bacon sundae from Burger King, yes. Yes, that is what we’re saying.

28 Mac n' Cheetos

Mac 'n' Cheetos BURGER KING Mac Cheetos CRACKED.COM These were cheese puff-shaped tubules of macaroni and cheese, coated in a skin of Cheetos crumbs -- regular, or Flamin' Hot, for the Cheetoisseur. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

27 Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt

Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt FRIENDLY'S CRACKED.COM Friendly's rested on their laurels after inventing the clown-shaped ice cream sundae - until 2010, when they decided to bookend their, frankly, already generous hamburgers with two grilled cheese sandwiches. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

26 The Angriest Whopper

Angriest Whopper BURGER KING CRACKED.COM This burger was supposed to be super spicy--to the extent that it warned off predators with its vibrant colors, like a poisonous frog. They even made a big deal about cooking the first batch with fire from a volcano, which is... honestly pretty rad. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

25 Cheeseburger Stuffed Crust

Cheeseburger- Stuffed Crust PIZZA HUT CRACKED.COM This was simply a pizza surrounded by sliders. It's the most American food innovation since American cheese, and yet it's only ever been available in the Middle East and the UK. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

24 Onion Nuggets

McDonald's Onion Nuggets Onion Nuggets Before the Chicken McNugget, there was the Onion Nugget. Introduced in the 1970s, they were clumps of onions deep-breaded and fried. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

23 Hot Dog Bites Pizza

Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Bites Pizza Sure, hot dogs and pizza are good on their own, but Pizza Hut made sure to prove you can have too much of a good thing. The hot dog crust pizza came with a side of mustard and pretzel version. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

22 Bell Beefer

Taco Bell's Bell Beefer In the 1970s, Taco Bell introduced its chili burger. Basically a taco but with a bun instead of a shell. As if there weren't enough fast-food burger options, who thought we needed a harder-to-eat attempt? CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

21 McSalad Shakers

McDonald's McSalad Shakers Grilled Chef Chicken Caesar Garden Props to McDonald's for attempting to make salads fun, but there's a reason we don't normally eat salads out of cups. This stayed on the menu for three years, not bad for a healthier option. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

20 The Double Down

KFC's Double Down Calling the Double Down discontinued may be a lie as they keep retiring it and bringing it back when they want publicity, but what terrible food menu would be complete without this meat monstrosity? CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

19 Whopperito

Burger King's Whopperito CLAME Most people look at a Whopper and go, You know what would make this better? If it were a burrito, too. Not all foods need to be a mash-up, but don't tell Burger King, who sold the novelty item to compete with Chipotle. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

18 Burger Pizza

Burger King's Burger Pizza In a clear publicity stunt (that we are continuing to help hype, so it's effective), a 2,500 calorie pizza-sized burger was only available in New York because New Yorkers aren't snobs about their pizza or anything. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

17 Lobster Roll

McDonald's Lobster Roll Lobster Roll made with 100% Real North Atlantic Lobster Aside from Filet-O-Fish (which was a Lent godsend), there's something so unsettlingly (in my digestive system) about McDonald's carrying seafood. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

16 Red Ramen Burger

Red Ramen Burger RED ROBIN CRAGKED.COM The ramen burger became a big deal around 2013. And - not a lot of people know this, but -- ramen sounds a lot like robin. Red Robin swiftly capitalized on this synchronicity by releasing their Red Ramen Burger a full 3 years later. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

15 Ninja Burger

Ninja Burger BURGER KING NIN BURGE CRACKED.COM BK has tried several different black burgs in different parts of the world, with various ingredients dyed black with bamboo charcoal and squid ink. One version includes an oversized, floppy strip of meat to simulate the tongue of a popular anime ninja. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

14 Dry Pork and Seaweed Donut

Dry Pork and Seaweed Donut DUNKIN' DONUTS Dry Pork and Seaweed Donut CRACKED.COM On paper, this looks like a lazy corporate April Fools Day joke. But in practice, it's actually a pretty daring savory experience from a company that specializes in sugar water. It's made with a special yeast dough, which kind of brings the whole thing together. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

13 The McAfrika

The McAfrika MCDONALD'S McAfrika CRACKED.COM In 2002, McDonald's Norway took some heat for dropping their unfortunately named, pita-based BLT right smack dab in the middle of a massive famine in Africa. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

12 McSpaghetti

McDonald's McSpaghetti СС on ald's Spaghetti was introduced in the 1970s, when no one was begging the burger company to attempt Italian. However, it did take off in the Philippines where it's still available. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

11 Cheetos Burrito

Taco Bell's Cheetos Burrito After their Doritos taco success, maybe this wasn't the dumbest idea. However, it didn't make it past their Cincinnati test market. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

10 Seafood Salad

Taco Bell's Seafood Salad To compete with the Filet-O-Fish, Taco Bell introduced a seafood salad in the 1980s. Unsurprisingly, it was a complete flop. Salad AND seafood? From Taco Bell? Hard pass. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

9 Hula Burger

McDonald's Hula Burger The hula burger was a cheeseburger minus the burger, plus grilled pineapple. Made to appeal to Catholics abstainning during Lent, it failed miserably where Filet-O-Fish succeeded. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

8 Kit Kat Chocodilla

Kit Kat Chocodilla TACO BELL CRACKED.COM This dessert item is just... Kit Kats melted in a tortilla. It seems entirely possible that Taco Bell's r&d team is just two roommates who haven't been grocery shopping in a while and are too high to go now. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

7 Double Down Dog

Double Down Dog KFC KFC DOUBLE DOWN WARNING OUTRAGEOUS Y DE DOG CRACKED.COM KFC shook us to our very core in 2010 when they first announced the Double Down as an April Fools joke, then sold it for real less than two weeks later. Then, in 2015, while the meat-eating public was still reeling from whiplash, they unleashed this hot dog version upon the good people of the Phillipines. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

6 Mashed Potato Beef Burger

Mashed Potato Beef Burger MCDONALD'S 100% Manly Man CRACKED.COM For a while, McDonald's China was on a big masculinity kick. Lots of their commercials highlighted the manliness of meat eaters - none moreso than this burger that dared to include a layer of potato salad. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

5 Bacon Sundae

Burger King's Bacon Sundae Burger King has not earned our trust with ice cream, let alone experimental ice cream. It was only available for the summer of 2012, a simpler time when bacon was trendy. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 16 Grossest Fast-Food Products (That Were Discontinued For Good Reason)

4 Doritos Pizza

Doritos Pizza PIZZA HUT CRACKED.COM They nearly out-pizza'd their own hut by placing Dorito shards around the perimeter of their 'za, like a crown of thorns. Lest you think they didn't go big enough, they also stuffed the crust with that boldest of cheeses: mozzarella. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

3 Waffle Taco

Waffle Taco TACO BELL CRACKED.COM In 2014, Taco Bell disrupted the wet hot American breakfast scene with a waffle, your choice of sausage or bacon, and a haphazard ice cream scoop of egg. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

2 KFC Nail Polish

Edible nail polish KFC TS PINGER LICKIN SENGER GOOD TCKIN GOOD CRACKED.COM In 2016, KFC dropped two flavors of edible nail polish in Hong Kong. The BBC did a taste test, and found Hot t & Spicy to be more translucent than advertised, and Original Recipe to be straight-up green. Both bottles recommended not saving their goop for multiple uses. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

1 Gracoro Burger

Gracoro Burger MCDONALD'S CRACKED.COM McDonald's Japan once offered this deep-fried dollop of macaroni, shrimp, and white sauce. — Source: 15 Big Swings From The Titans Of The Fast Food Industry

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