25 of the Funniest or Coolest Times Parents Stuck Up for Their Kids

‘I’ll kill him, then I’ll come here and kill you’
25 of the Funniest or Coolest Times Parents Stuck Up for Their Kids

A mother’s love is a beautiful thing — especially when it comes with good aim. 

One Redditor recalled the exact moment he learned this lesson. He was eight-years-old, and managed to sink an incredible shot while playing basketball at the local rec center. When a bully twice his age attempted the same shot and missed, he yelled, “You think you’re pretty fuckin’ good, huh?” and choked the Redditor until he passed out. When he woke up a few minutes later to find the bully and his friends laughing at him, he made his way over to his mom’s job, where he burst into tears as he told her what happened.

His mom immediately left work, drove over to the rec center, hit the bully in the back of the head with a ball and screamed, “If you ever touch my child again, I’ll kick your ass, I’ll kick your mom’s ass, I’ll have my husband kick your dad’s ass, and when my son gets home, I’ll have him kick your ass every day in school until you fucking graduate.” 

The son she was referring to was a national champion wrestler, by the way.  

That, of course, is the correct way to threaten someone. It’s not enough to leave it between two people — you should be ready to enact generational terror. 

Other Redditors have shared the times their family members stuck up for them, including a grandfather who sounds like he’s straight out of a Clint Eastwood movie.

kzamagram 14y ago When I was about 8, I was playing soccer on a youth team (albeit not very well). The bully from my school class was on the same team and taunted me over and over again for what seemed like the whole season. One day I just snapped and ran at him, fists flying. I don't think I even landed a blow before he had me pinned down. Не was sitting on my chest just raining down punches on my face. As I was lying there getting pummeled, I heard my Dad yell That's my son!!! Suddenly he
Satros 14y ago This dirtbag kid who was older than me stole my Charizard card when I was 9. My mom went over to where he lived and bitched out his mom for awhile (she was like whats the big deal they are just cards derp derp at first, ITS MOTHER FUCKIN CHARIZARD THAT'S THE BIG DEAL) until she agreed to make her son give back the card. I was so heart broken when he stole it, but getting it back, I've never loved my mother more. 20 ...
wangston 14y ago When we took the standardized tests in grade school that decided who got into the accelerated, gifted programs, I fell short by 10% or so (from the 98th percentile requirement). My mom got a personal meeting with the principal to argue my case. The principal insisted that the criteria was non-waivable, so she demanded to see my test. Looking it over she pointed out a long string of incorrect answers, that if transposed down one were all correct. I had skipped a question accidentally and continued filling in the bubbles sequentially. If not for her doing this
MissingSix 14y ago When I was in grade one we had a Christmas play, it involved frosty the snow man. When frosty melted I yelled Oh no, frosty is dead!. I got a lot of laughs from all of the audience members, I thought I was the funniest kid ever. Unfortunately our teach was Mrs. Taylor, a mean old woman. There were a few more things after our spot for the other grades, so we all went back to the classroom to play for a bit. A friend of mine was making the train puzzle so I decided to come
grendel-khan 14y ago My lovely partner isn't a Redditor, but I told her about this thread, and she wrote me about an event from her childhood. Here it is: There was no massive insult and no balls-out bravado involved, but have a marvelous instance of a mother finding a creative solution to the slings and arrows of injustice. My fourth-grade teacher was an effective instructor, but was often excessively strict. She'd established a pattern of this sort of behavior by the time I was foolhardy enough to turn in a spelling test - which consisted entirely of correct answers - without my name on
azwethinkweizm 14y ago I was written up in middle school for kicking the shit out of a bully that picked on me for an entire year. I just had enough of the wet willys and purple nurples to the point that I knocked him out. The only family member in town was my great grandfather, who was in World War I, and he slowly walked into the office. Principal told him the story and I told him why I did it so he said in the most clint eastwood-like voice to the principal well, if I wasn't so old I'd
mappp 14y ago My story was really them sticking up for basic rights and does not match your own but still... About half way through my time at senior school (UK state school) all of the girls were called into an assembly about our 'inappropriate behaviour'. It turned out the Christian's who came in to do youth work with the school children had complained that we were too touchy with each other (too 'touchy' being hugging when meeting and holding hands to walk to class/cafeteria together) and that this may give the wrong 'impression' to visitors (i.e. that we were
alwayswithglee 14y ago Holy crap, what an awesome mom. My story is about my mom as well. I was 10 years old and everyday when a friend and I would walk home from school, two boys would chase us home and swear at us and call us names. They even threw things at us for some reason. Still have no clue why. I told my mom about it, and the next day my friend and I ran to my house, the boys following again, and to our surprise my mom had made a couple dozen water balloons and was waiting
 14y ago When I was about 16 or 17 I was trying to buy a used car from a dealership. They had this awesome deal in the paper that Sunday on a used Dodge Stratus so I went down prepared to dump all my savings into it and get the car. When got down there, they gave me the big song and dance about the price being a misprint and how they couldn't sell it to me at this price... but they had a nice, dilapidated station wagon I could buy from them! I refused. They were pretty much
ScarletF 14y ago My Mom kicked my stepdad out of the house because he said It's the kid, or me. 131 ...
biglou 14y ago OP, your very lucky to have such a great mom. When I was 10 one Halloween , a group of neighborhood teenagers trashed my baby sisters Playskool House, She was only 5 and was in shambles and I witnessed it and was angry....I knew three of the teenagers and decided to tail them, fully armed with eggs shaving cream and flour. The main perpetrator lived in the apartments two blocks over, so I followed them back. When they left the apartment , he left his window open. So I popped out the screen and proceed to eggs flour and
HK47meatbag 14y ago My tale definitely won't top yours, but when I was 5 or 6 I was over my older sister's house (20 years older than I). She had a bunch of friends over and naturally they were all drinking and having a good time. A few neighborhood kids and I were running around in our swim suits and jumping through sprinklers, tossing water balloons, and spraying each other with super soakers. I migrated away from the group to get some root beer when all the sudden this 25 plus year old guy yells over at me. Не leans
plattica 14y ago When I was 8 years old, this 14-15 year old kid came up to me (completely at random) while playing basketball. I made my shot, a VERY proud moment as could barely throw the ball that high. This kid shoots, and misses... Не runs up to me and says, You think you're pretty fucking good huh?, then proceeded to bare hand choke me until I pass out. I woke about two minutes later, while him and his friends are laughing at me. I left the rec. center crying, and walked over to where my Mom worked. Seeing
thugmonkey 14y ago When I was 6 or 7 a child a few years older than me gave me a bit of a pasting. My mother turned up at school to pick me up. Being this was over 20 years ago and things were some what different then my teacher asked if my mother wanted to speak to the ruffian that accosted me. My mother politely accepted the offer and the teacher wrongly presumed my mother would say tut tut and wag her finger at him but my mother being, well, my mother lent down and calmly said If you
 14y ago I was in 4th grade, riding in the back of my mom's van, which was full of kids carpooling to my sister's gymnastics class. Icy roads, snow blowing everywhere, my mom's doing about 15 miles an hour. 16 year old kid who just got his license comes hurtling around a corner going way too fast, hits us head- on. Most of the van walks away with relatively minor bumps, bruises, and a cracked rib or two. Not me. I had only a lap belt (no shoulder belts in the back of the van), and was sitting behind
souroctopus 14y ago This is my favorite story to tell about my mom, and dealing with racism in a small town. When I was in kindergarden, I lived in a small, predominantly white town, and my family were the only Chinese people in the neighborhood. During lunch one day, a boy cut me in line at the lunch line and said, Get out of the way, chink! I had no idea what that meant, so went home that day and asked my mom what the heck a chink was. She was shocked, and told me that it was a very,
 14y ago Your mom rocks :-) thumbs up to all the awesome mothers out there I actually suffer from a slight hearing loss, which was ten times worst when i was younger and in elementary school. My first grade teacher was an absolute bitch and didn't have a problem pretty much torturing her students. one day she was calling me to her desk, but ofcourse, i simply couldnt hear her, so she came to my desk and yanked at my ponytail. I went home and my mother asked me why my hair was lopsided and I explained to her
angelworks 14y ago In jr high was tormented daily, to the point where I was somewhat suicidal. (Hearing every day how the world would be better off without you and all the gruesome ways in which I should die can do that to a person.) Finally I broke down and told my parents what was going on. Well, my dad was furious, as was my mom. That night (I would later find out) they held a War Meeting with my brother (who was captain of his hockey team) and his friends (who were all big beefy guys). My dad, it
freiheitzeit 14y ago Wow, OPs Mom is basically my hero now. My story pales absolutely in comparison. In second grade we were assigned to write an essay on what our parents did for work. Since my mom was a housewife at the time (an admirable job) I chose my dad, the Test Pilot. I wrote about how my dad was a fighter pilot and shot missiles and flew jets and was super cool, etc. I got a D on the paper and a note from my teacher that my parents had to sign. The note read, While Freiheitzeit has a
 14y ago Haha I don't know if this counts as standing up for me, but I thought it was pretty cool... So early one morning I went out to my car (parked on the street outside our house), only to find a strange man in my car ruffling through my things. I screamed and the guy looked at me and started to bail. My dad (who was totally blind) came out and asked what was going on, and I told him some creepy guy was in my car. My dad then yells, HONEY GET THE GUN I'M GONNA SHOOT
pokie6 14y ago Along these lines, when I was 13 at a hospital with severe flu, this kid about 16 years old decided it would be fun to punch me in the head a few times and take away the sweets my parents brought me. I managed to sneak in a phone call to my folks when he wasn't around. From what my dad mentioned later, my folks came in, found the guy and my dad held him down and my mom, a freaking university professor, beat him up. Then they convinced the hospital to kick him out. Oh, this
jk013x 9mo ago This one is burned into my mimd. I grew up in the 80s-90s, when the rules were.. looser. was chased into my house by a violent bully a few times, just after school. The last time, my dad was home from work early... Не stopped the kid dead in his tracks by grabbing him by the throat and lifting him into the air (somehow not choking the kid at all). Не then walked like that half a block to the kid's house and pounded on the door with his other hand (my dad was huge). When the
dumbestgenius 14y ago I was about 7 or 8 years old at the time. My mom and I were driving down Knapp Street in Brooklyn in her tiny Nissan Sentra. A carload of young guys (late teens/early 20's) cuts my mom off and hits the brakes. Mom avoids rear-ending them, changes lanes, and goes about her business. However, carload of dicks decide they want to have some fun. So they are swerving near our car, speeding up and not letting us pass, cutting us off; just being dicks about it. Well, this sets off some kind of primal, maternal defense
Atalayac 14y ago This older boy who always bullied me got off at the same bus stop as me. It was getting to the point where he was becoming physically violent. When my dad found out, he hid in the woods right by the stop, and when the kid was about to shove me into the ditch, my dad stepped out full-Rambo and dragged the kid home by his ears. Не was afraid to speak to me for years after that. + 257 ...
Heyimtegan 14y ago My brother has A.L.L Leukimia. So, at five years old for his make a wish, he wanted to go to Disney World. Since this was a make a wish, he got special privileges, such as the ability to go to the front of any line. We went right at the time Animal Kingdom first opened, so we got to cut a line that was a 3 hour wait, in the humid Florida summer. Oh course, someone has to make a comment. This lady wonders out loud in the snottiest voice I've ever heard What makes him so

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