37 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, June 21, 2024

It’s a whole process
37 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, June 21, 2024

The next season of Only Murders in the Building is still a few months out, but we have some insight into why the podcasting trio is headed out West. The Hulu series took to its official Instagram account to post a picture of Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez in character alongside Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis and Eva Longoria in identical outfits. The latter three are set to play Charles, Oliver and Mabel respectively in an in-show film based on the podcast. The storyline is the next logical progression for the series’ meta-commentary on the true-crime podcasting industry and the world of entertainment. 

As Longoria dips her toe back into performing with Only Murders, she’s developed an itch that might be unscratchable. Longoria told Entertainment Tonight that she “misses Wisteria Lane,” referring to her time on ABC’s long-running dramedy Desperate Housewives, and that she’s approached show creator Marc Cherry “a hundred times” about rebooting the primetime soap, but with zero luck so far. 

Meanwhile, the timeline is ripe with new hilarious tweets to dig into. Today’s funniest include those about the best time to apply for jobs, a different name for beef jerky and computer karma.

GZ @GalaxyZeinz. 16h reach for officers gun... MATM POLICE 50 3,731 59.1K 992K
Jacob Gurley @JacobDGurley 18h ... Alright everyone this is the real deal, the moment we've practiced for. We need to get the Muppets back together to put on a show to save the studio ToughPigs: Muppet Fans... 20h After nearly a quarter century, The Jim Henson Company is selling off their historic lot in Hollywood. toughpigs.com/henson-lot/ 1416 126 10.9K 65.2K 1.7M
Punch Cat @PunchingCat : 1d ... 60 8,898 51.5K 1.9M
boo @boocanan 21h ... GIRL AT PARTY OBVIOUSLY VERY INTO ME: you have really really pretty hands, especially your nailbeds, they look incredible. can i touch them ME: *thinking of tweet idea i know when that elden ring! that can only mean one thing* thanks i grew them myself 17 1,264 17.5K del 268K
rae @raewolff_ . 21h ... these CAN NOT be the same paychecks my coworkers are using to provide for their 3 kids 30 3,001 41.8K 649K
Barbra Dook @missladysalad 15h ... As queer people, we never forget the first time we felt seen. I was 19 in a deep v, nervous inside one of my first big city gay bars. You're home, honey. Be proud, a strong, FDIC insured voice told me from behind. That's when I first met Bank of America. He's why I march 13 970 15.1K 323K
bails @baytato 1d ... This DoorDash pic I can't like I wanted that bagel BAD !!!!!! 148 2,575 90.8K 1.8M
doxie @doxie_gay.16h ... sandavidcito 9s ... X i wanna post fuck everyone so bad but no one did anything to me 15 1,297 8,058 153K
evan. @evanbytheway 1d on the clock applying for jobs 81 4,194 28K 838K
Owen @miseblock 17h ... Worst FOMO of my life 8:03 32 < D Dad в o В. Burritos On Board. That was for mom! 6 99 6,513 89.6K

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jetlag da game @jetlagdagame.1 1d ... enovi 5 Nous arrivons à WC Silly The Vibe I Bring To The Function 25 1,777 22.3K 763K
Sophie Vershbow @svershbow.14h ... Millennials really got a Daniel Radcliffe Tony win and a Justin Timberlake arrest in the same week. It almost makes up for the world we inherited. 10 591 8,730 200K
7/11 Truther @DaveMcNam... 22h ... this is how it feels to be 16 and your best friend just got their license and you are going to Taco Bell K 18 813 15.8K 537K
marioka @leamaric.20h ... A beautiful day watching me stay inside for 12 hours 8 596 4,351 106K
i like food @messedupfoods • 14h ... Beef Jerky is just a COW raisin. Change my mind. 30 413 6,753 168K
HP @amishestrogen 20h ... new jersey is so beautiful ONCE THE FOOD IS GIVE IT TO YOU IF A SEAGULL TAKE IT FROM YOU WILL BE NO REFUNDS THE SEAGULLS DON'T WORK FOR US SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE 192 8,904 148K del 2.7M
dom @multiwhirl. 16h shaking, crying, etc. baba ganoush translation All Images Videos Forums Shopping News pampered daddy baba ghanoush, relish with Middle Eastern origins that is made of eggplant (aubergine) blended with tahini, garlic, lemon juice, and salt. The Arabic term for the dish means pampered daddy, the person in question being, legend has it, a sultan spoiled with a concoction invented by a member of his harem. Apr 24, 2024 8 225 2,987 176K
gem @gwmmma 22h tested positive for needy clingy bitch disorder 63 11.8K 38.9K del 896K
madison (top 0.2% on sudoku) 1d ... - - Your bf/gf should be your 3rd priority your 1st and 2nd should be 1) committing to the bit 2) does your fit go hard 18 1,446 10.7K 396K
Guy Berger @EconBerger 18h Magnificent economist.com terms on dining out than in 2019. Bosses at Darden Restaurants, which runs chains including Olive Garden, a purveyor of pasta, recently noted that custom from people aged over 65 is still below pre-covid. In Italy, another place that serves pasta, retirees' spending on restaurants is falling fast. As you sip a 92 790 9,171 678K
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.23h un UNT Just got euthanized at Claire's r/tattooadvice T A u/CDFReditum 7h Why don't tattoo places just euthanize their clients? General Advice I drive around a lot for work and I recently saw some signs for a dentist that says they offer euthanasia for their clients who might be scared of going to the dentist. | was driving so I couldn't take a picture but I thought it was really cool since I never really like going to the dentist. It got me thinking as to why tattoo places don't just do the same? I have a
Orwell & Goode | $TREN @O.... 6h ... SILENCE, bank balance little treat is talkin 40 5,683 54.7K I 1.5M
mariana Z @mariana057.23h We DO NOT throw perfectly good food away in this house. We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad, THEN throw it out! 521 1,327 19.7K 544K
varg @mammalfriend-18h ... bro i'm scared (no subject) Inbox 9787613096 6:17PM to me V hello are you my son 34 1,224 31.2K 324K
audrey farnsworth @audipenny 10h ... jesus christ google yes you can have my location. i'm literally just checking the spelling of a word but by all means, sure, know exactly where I am. freak 13 425 6,254 del 86.9K
autopilot @grassandwine 19h ... I firmly believe as a professional computer toucher that there is a such thing as computer mana. if you haven't earned the computer's respect you'll end up with all sorts of weird issues which will disappear the second that someone with high computer mana tries fixing it 224 3,959 34K del 927K
Ryan, Perdido en TX @RyanLo... 16h ... The 16 year old kid bagging my groceries asked me how my day was going and I said can't complain and he responded probably wouldn't do any good if you did and honestly that kid is a straight shooter with upper management potential written all over him. 9 81 1,532 del 27.4K
cass @cassarolezz• 1d adding to the collection of people who voice acted in trolls to get arrested this week @PopBase. 1d Pop Base Travis Scott has been arrested for trespassing and disorderly intoxication in Miami. 64 2,689 49.9K 1.5M
mol @molfully· 1d ... this is fucking me up bc obviously dc was a swamp but like. i just assumed they developed that whole area at once ??? not just stuck the lincoln memorial in the middle of the swamp James Lucas @JamesLuc... 1d 23. Lincoln Memorial before the reflecting pool 143 4,515 100K 3.4M
Christina Grace @C_GraceT. 1d Not in my world. Not in the world I'm living in. cunt ruhi @cuntpraxis2 2d hating your friend's boyfriend is a lost art 21 4,251 44.8K 2M
Mike Townsend @townsendye... 19h ... Bought those Loop earplugs. Noise cancelling apparently. But they can not cancel the loudest noise of all, the human mind. If anything they make that shit louder. I long for the sounds of traffic, the guttural screams of my neighbour having a bit of a hard time. Send these back 5 18 578 19.7K
megan @chismosavirus.2 22h ... love to buy food when i i just got paid like you know what... $18 is a perfectly reasonable price to pay for a sandwich. so i will have 3. with chips and an artisanal lemonade 29 6,200 54.5K del 1.1M
AARON !: serge daney mcbride @abs_s... 15h ... My ex-wife and I are currently in what one might term a diva-off in regard to the custody of our son. 2 246 4,160 del 99.1K
H TGIRL @mainbitchclique - 1d ... When my friend say she single, I got 2 hours to turn her up before she go back 187 3,983 18.2K del 1.1M
holden seidlitz @jock_derr... 1d ... My worst trait is I love to put people in group chats. sometimes I just sort of like to observe how people will interact with each other in a cage-like environment 28 1,007 12.5K 300K
lexi featherston stan updates 19h ... 5:02 LTE 73 Instagram 11 Today 5:01 PM HOLY FUUUUCK you can't put spoons in the microwave?!!! it almost fucking exploded i have been blasting ashley tisdale all day 19 733 17.6K 532K
1022 @D2BDVay 19h ... Yes that's why I sneak and eat by myself tayv @aunababyy 1d food really $200 when you in a relationship 511 3,639 18K 1.5M

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