28 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, June 20, 2024

A portion size for ants
28 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, June 20, 2024

While she hasn’t graced the big screen since 2017’s SnatchedGoldie Hawn wouldn’t mind giving it another go — as long as the cast is full of familiar faces. The Oscar-winning actress known for her roles in Death Becomes Her and The First Wives Club is also known for her very famous family, which includes her partner Kurt Russell, their son Wyatt and her children Oliver and Kate Hudson from a previous relationship. Hawn made an appearance on Let’s Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa and told the daytime host that it “would be so great” for them all to do a movie together before they “get too old.” 

From one gay icon to another, Nathan Lane is getting the Golden Girls treatment with a new Hulu sitcom. The Broadway legend is set to star in Mid-Century Modern alongside Matt Bomer as the two take on Dorothy and Rose-like characters in a Palm Springs condo complex. The multi-cam comedy was developed by the team behind Will & Grace and will be executive produced by Glee creator Ryan Murphy.

Over on the timeline, everyone is back at it today with gem after gem after gem. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the reality of a long-distance relationship, an artform that’s still going strong and the true definition of third base.

funny fish @sphecidwasp 1d ... My brother just handed me the scariest beer I've ever seen. Nothing on the label. Was at the very back of the cooler. Guy at the shop didn't know anything about it. 12% abv. This is a creepypasta beverage ACCIDENT IN HUBBARD'S CAVE 73 2,728 30.9K 789K
Heisjayy X @Jayysen_ 1d I don't. I shove them in the cupboard and close the doors quickly so it doesn't fall out. KACHI @Kachidey4y....1d How do you fold your plastic bags? 170 7,825 72.9K 1.7M
Punch Cat @PunchingCat : 12h ... long distance relationship 368 10.1K 78K del 3.3M
Francisco Garcia @Ffranciscodgf - 1 1d ... Strolled past a young couple having a minor row in Soho. Girl turns to the bloke in exasperation. 'I'm so sick of you talking about Young Sheldon'. A chilling glimpse into the abyss... 56 1,365 29.1K del 1.1M
my wheelhouse @mywheelhou... . dd ... Lucama GLOBAL METHODIST CHURCH THOSE WHO EAT THE DEVIL'S CORN WILL CHOKE ON HIS COB! 27 1,112 12.7K 556K
Mike Townsend @townsendyes... 1d ... Horrible being the first one to sign a group birthday card at work. Its on me to set the tone, do we go funny, sincere & affectionate, clinical & professional perhaps. No privacy at all either, everyone is gonna read my message when they write theirs. Im fucking panicking here. 94 1,405 37.6K 1M
chelsaya @chelsaya 21h I'm eating pizza on the roof in a bikini because it's summer so obviously, and in the thickest yinzer accent I hear my neighbor go joyce she's up 'ere again. half naked eatin a freakin pizza come look you're gonna die 41 726 20.9K del 797K
ben (unintelligible) flores @limi... 1d ... ordering ravioli at a restaurant is great for when you want to spend $19 to eat three of something you expected to be eating 12 of 60 1,880 50.5K del 1.4M
le junkie @yrs 22h librabutch god grant me the serenity to do it to em librabutch and the courage to accept that i had to 1 861 6,126 108K
monkey d. ise @louisedotonline 1d ... why do parks even have closing times. they're open spaces with no doors or gates. this is fascism 316 7,470 149K 2.6M
anna @moonbeeaam 22h ischedule my emails to send at 9:17 or 8:34 or whatever so it seems more authentic. everyone knows what's up with a 9:00 email 52 1,835 46.7K 1.2M
Average Dad @Average_Dad1 18h Heard another dad at the park refer to the approaching ice cream truck as the music truck. His kid didn't make one mention of ice cream, just said oh cool, I love the music truck! I was stunned. Absolutely brilliant. 126 1,715 51.7K 1.3M
henry (#1 worst behavior stan) 20h ... new straight male friend read me the house down uh regardless that's more bc i don't like my body and gay culture is very body conscious lol Not all tho right Wdym They not all that way Maybe join book club instead of night club 119 1,501 35.8K 1M
Rat Mic @sliccmic• 1d i i was just running up the stairs to catch the train and this guy goes youre not gonna make it. and his gf was like WHATS WRONG WITH YOU and they started arguing omfggg 281 11.6K 334K 5.3M
Kristen Mulrooney @missmulro... - 1d ... Me and my son are the only ones home tonight and he talked to me for 2 straight hours until I said Hey bud I just need a half an hour to do a little bit of work, and he said sympathetically I bet, then continued talking to me for another 2 hours. 208 3,619 125K 3.2M
Shafeeq @Y2SHAF.1d this cannot be the same brain that earned a bachelor's degree 60 15.7K 54.6K del 1.9M
abrish @cxrnerrstone. 1d proud of being a woman in a male dominated field (weaponised incompetence) 12 2,578 13.2K 242K
Naz @nazzobetweeting.id 04 open the schools !!!!! zuzu TS << tortured poet» 3d doctor: you have 249 minutes to live me: Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour > Running time 2h 49m 126 19.9K 344K . 6.9M
Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo - 1d ... I like to imagine Justin Timberlake's one phone call was to Jimmy Fallon 63 1,199 26.4K del 991K
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.18h ... Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can't do shit with your neighbor 11 143 1,638 37.6K
Sarah York @thesarahyork.1 1d Got catcalled** at Walgreens today **some guy said CEREAL TIME as I walked by with a huge box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch 154 5,445 del 165K
orbeez god @orbeezgod 1d 3rd base is actually when they help you clean your room 52 3,404 33.6K del 1M
azul @happyluckygirl_ 23h ... We would've been good divorced parents 12 1,135 7,907 del 187K
kelli @LagunaBiotchIG .20h Some of us still practice cunt ruhi @cuntpraxis 1d hating your friend's boyfriend is a lost art 65 6,400 44.7K 1.8M
anne @lildovzz 6h Moments before my plane doors closed this guy rushes on and goes I MADE IT BOYS and like 10 dudes scattered around the plane started cheering and he high fived them all as he went to his seat. Their boys weekend in Bozeman is about to be a feature film 11 397 17.3K 548K
ash @tripnf4ll 18h ... Redownloading hinge is like opening the fridge again after u just looked in it like two hours ago 11 779 9,328 208K
Rock @TheCensoredRock-19h ... guys...GUYS! 1,076 8,005 74.4K del 2.6M


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