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33 Famous Authors Hiding Dark Secrets and Deep Regrets

Hemingway, what the heck, man?

33 Famous Authors Hiding Dark Secrets and Deep Regrets

June 23, 2024

These freaks are always writing something down. You’d think at a certain point they’d run out of secrets. But not so!

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33

Agatha Christie Pulled a Gone Girl CRACKED.COM In 1926, the mystery titan went for a drive and then abandoned her car on the side of the road, drawing thousands of people into an 11-day search and casting suspicion on her philandering husband, who had recently asked her for a divorce. She was later found at a health spa under a fake name, insisting she had no memory of her disappearance. She may have truly had a psychological breakdown, but she may have also just wanted to scare the bejesus out of her jerk husband. — Source

32

Norman Mailer

Norman Mailer Stabbed His Wife CRACKED.COM In 1960, after a kickoff party for his mayoral campaign, Norman Mailer stabbed his wife in the heart after she said he wasn't as good as Dosto- evsky, which is just true. She survived, but amazingly, he did not win the election. — Source

31

David Foster Wallace Tried to Kill a Guy CRACKED.COM It's no secret that every verbose misogynist's favorite writer had a problem with women, specifically one woman who he famously stalked and abused, but he went so far as to hook up with an ex-con who, it turned out, was absolutely not willing to sell him a gun to kill her husband. The prospective arms dealer actually reported him, so you know he was scared. — Source

30

Anne Perry Actually Murdered Her Mom CRACKED.COM Anne Perry, bestselling author of the Thomas Pitt and William Monk detective series, bludgeoned her mother to death with the help of her best friend in 1954, when she was 15 years old. After serving five years in prison, she changed her name and started writing books, which were wildly successful with readers who had no idea who she was until Peter Jackson made a movie about her. She was played by Kate Winslet, though, so every potentially ca- reer-killing unmasking has a silver lining. — Source

29

William Golding Tried to Rape a Teenage Girl GRACKED.COM The Lord of the Flies author admitted in his unpublished memoirs that while he was in college, he tried to rape a high school girl who he called depraved by nature and whose pert, ripe, and de- sirable mouth he had mistaken for an invitation, which is one of the grosser ways to say she asked for it. She fought him off, and he ended up teach- ing high school a few years later, so that's fun. — Source

28

Enid Blyton

Enid Blyton Was Awful to Her Own Children CRACKED.COM The creator of the Noddy series of books may have created fanciful worlds for other children, but her own daughter described her as lacking even a trace of maternal instinct, keeping her and her sister shut away in a nursery that she rarely visited except to yell at them. Oh, and her books were also deeply racist. — Source

27

Allen Ginsberg Was a Member of NAMBLA CRACKED.COM The famous Beat poet joined the ре- dophile organization in the early '80s in defense of free speech, in- sisting that he had no intention to apologize for rape and mental or physical violation of children and did not personally make carnal love to hairless boys and girls, but not before implying that we all want to, right? Right? — Source

26

David Eddings Went to Prison For Child Abuse CRACKED.COM The bestselling fantasy author served a year in prison for beat- ing his children and enjoyed his entire career without that little tidbit ever coming to light until after his death. Не actually wrote his first published novel while he was locked up. — Source

25

Roald Dahl Victim-Blamed Jews CRACKED.COM Meanwhile, Roald Dahl had a lot to say specifically about Jews, implying that their lack of generosity toward non-Jews naturally provoke ani- mosity and calling them submis- sive because he would have a go at taking one of the guards with me to the gas chambers. Yes, Roald Dahl and Mark Wahlberg have something in common. — Source

24

Dr. Seuss Wanted to Kill Japanese People CRACKED.COM Dr. Seuss chose a slightly less common target for his racist rage, commenting during World War II, If we want to win, we've got to kill, whether it depresses John Haynes Holmes or not. We can get palsy-walsy afterward with those that are left, unable to resist squeezing in a whimsical made-up word. Не also drew anti-Japanese propaganda that looks startlingly like, well, a Dr. Seuss book. — Source

23

Jack London Was a Full-On Genocide Enthusiast GRACKED.COM Plenty of writers have shown their whole racism in their stories, and London definitely did, but he also wrote an essay for Anglo-American Magazine explicitly hailing the An- glo-Saxon race as the one of mas- tery and achievement and dismiss- ing genocide as natural selection. Apparently, his beef with white stuff ended at snow. — Source

22

Gertrude Stein: Nazi Lover? CRACKED COM Let us begin our parade of racists with Gertrude Stein, who supported the head of France's Nazi puppet govern- ment to the point of translating his speeches with the hope of bringing them to an American audience and speaking out in his defense even after he was sentenced to death for trea- son, which is all pretty weird because she was also Jewish. — Source

21

George Orwell Snitched On Suspected Communists CRACKED.COM It doesn't take a scholar to figure out that George Orwell wasn't a fan of Communism, but he had such a rage boner for it that he kept a list of suspected Communists in the literary community for the U.K. Informa- tion Research Department (basically the propaganda wing of the Foreign Office). Не even admitted to a department official, who he was dating, that the list was poten- tially libelous, containing the names of writers who were possibly just gay or Jew- ish. — Source

20

Hemingway Was a KGB Spy CRACKED.COM On the flip side, Hemingway was all too eager to offer his ser- vices to the Soviets in 1941 be- fore a trip to China. Не was giv- en the code name Argo, and the fact that he kind of sucked at being a spy and the KGB soon dropped him doesn't make that less weird. — Source

19

Delia Owens is Wanted For Questioning About a Poacher Murder CRACKED.COM Delia Owens, writer of the best- selling book and upcoming Swift-soundtracked movie Where the Crawdads Sing, can't go back to Zambia, where she once worked for a wildlife conservation, because police would like to talk to her about her husband's and/or stepson's possible involvement in the murder of a poacher there in 1995. — Source

18

American Psycho

American Psycho AMERI- CAN PSYCHO BRET EASTON ELLIS CRACKED.COM Author Bret Easton Ellis thought having a female director doomed the film from the start, because film requires the male gaze. — Source

17

I Know What You Did Last Summer LOIS DUNCAN I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER CRACKED.COM Author Lois Duncan had zero input on the production, and was horrified to see her beloved characters immediately murdered by some insane fisherman she'd never met. — Source

16

A Wrinkle In Time A WRINKLE IN TIME Madeleine L'Engle CRACKED.COM Author Madeleine L'Engle said she'd glimpsed the 2003 film. When asked if it met her expectations, she said she expected it to be bad, and it is. — Source

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15

My Foolish Heart the CATCHER in the RYE CRACKED.COM a novel by J. D. SALINGER J. D. Salinger hated this (critically successful) adaptation so much that he refused to sell the rights to The Catcher In The Rye. — Source

14

Watchmen WATCHMEN - CRACKED.COM Comic writer Alan Moore says DC execs exploited a family tragedy to sneak out merchandise he hadn't authorized, among other scummy tactics. Moore came to curse this wretched film and everything connected with it. — Source

13

A Clockwork Orange A CLOCKWORK ORAnGE ANTHONY BURGESS - great - Thes - CRACKED.COM Author Anthony Burgess thinks Stanley Kubrick's fundamental misunderstanding of the story ruined his creative integrity. Не said Kubrick's sexy, violent interpretation will pursue me till I die. — Source

12

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory CHARLiE ANDTHE CHOCOL TE FACTORY BY Roald Dahl Remand by Joseph Companing - four - and Che - with the TO The and to plan CRACKED COM Roald Dahl wrote the original script, but was so miffed about the rewrites that he wrote in his will that the sequel, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, couldn't be adapted for film. — Source

11

Midnight Express

Midnight Express The story of Bily Hayes unbelevable courage happen THE dd A SPORTOR THAM Midnight Express CRACKED.COM Author Billy Hayes says the film completely changed the ending to his real-life story about spending years in a Turkish prison. It probably didn't help that Oliver Stone was reportedly high on coke, weed, and booze while Hayes was recounting his daring escape. — Source

10

Sahara CLIVE CUSSLER SAHARA CRACKED.COM Author Clive Cussler was given near complete creative control. But when he didn't get his way one time, he publicly trashed the movie so badly that the film tanked and the producers sued him.

9

The Cat In The Hat THE CAT IN THE HAT By Dr. Seuss CRACKED.COM Dr. Seuss' widow, Audrey Geisel, was so scandalized that she refused to allow any more live-action adaptations of her husband's work. — Source

8

Charlotte's Web Charlotte's Web by E.B.WHITE Author of STUART LITTLE Pictures by GARTH WILLIAMS CRACKED.COM Author Е. В. White quite simply hates fun: The story is interrupted every few minutes so that somebody can sing a jolly song. I don't care much for jolly songs. — Source

7

I Am Legend This may be the most femilying - and you will EYES me 25 H -Williom Campbell Goult Police Vining المتوسط I I AM LEGEND Richard Mathesan CRACKED.COM Author Richard Matheson hated every adaptation of his book, especially the 2007 film: I don't know why Hollywood is fascinated by my book when they never care to film it as I wrote it. — Source

6

The Neverending Story Michael Ende Deverending Story to SALTY CRACKED.COM Fantasy author Michael Ende hated the rewrites on his original script so much that he tried to buy back the rights, and eventualy just had his name removed from the credits. — Source

5

Percy Jackson PORCY THE OLYMPIANS NOW JACKSON THE LIGHTNING THIEF RICK RIORDAN CRACKED.COM 'A al and Author Rick Riordan was nonplussed with the films based off of his work: to you guys, it's a couple hours entertainment. To me, it's my life's work going through a meat grinder when I pleaded with them not to do it — Source

4

Breakfast At Tiffany's Breakfast at Tiffany's A short nord and three stories by Truman Capote CRACKED.COM Truman Capote thought that, instead of Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard, the film should have starred Marilyn Monroe and himself. — Source

3

Mary Poppins Mary Poppins Mary in the Poppins Park Opens the Door P.L Travers Mary P.L. TRAVERS P.L. Poppins TRAVERE Travers Mary Poppins Comes Back RETRAL - KITCHCOC - Calline CRACKED.COM Author P.L. Travers so deeply regretted selling the movie rights to Disney that she cried throughout the world premiere. — Source

2

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST A NOVEL BY Ken Kesey CRACKED COM Author Ken Kesey was so mad that they made the movie about Randle McMurphy instead of Chief Bromden that he quit working on the production and would change the channel any time the movie was on TV. — Source

1

Stephen King

The Shining The Shiping by Stephen King A new novel by the author of CARRIE and SALEMSLOT CRACKED.COM Ticked off that Stanley Kubrick gave up the supernatural for the psychological, Stephen King says it's a film by a man who thinks too much and feels too little. — Source

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