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36 Celebrities Who Need to Have Their Entire Brains Washed Out With Soap

By:: Jay L'Ecuyer; Cracked Writers

March 18, 2024

36 Celebrities Who Need to Have Their Entire Brains Washed Out With Soap

A celebrity’s entourage usually includes a bouncer or two for their protection. After this list, we’re all wondering, “Where’s our protection?” Now we’re on the horn with Hollywood’s HR department, requesting that all celebrity entourages include one bodyguard to keep said celebrity in check. We’ll letcha know what they say.

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36

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now ARMIE HAMMER rocks in Call Me by Your Name. THINGS FELL APART WHEN ALLEGATIONS OF HARASSMENT (AND LATER ABUSE) emerged around 2021. What makes them different, however, was the explicit, insisting, and systematic fantasies of sexual torture and even cannibalism. CRACKED.COM — Source

35

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now CHARLIE ROSE hosted his eponymous talk show from 1991 to 2017. НЕ WAS FIRED FROM PBS AND CBS due to allegations of sexual harassment dating from 1991 to 2011. Не tried a comeback in 2022 by interviewing a billionaire. Sheesh, holding water to climate-collapsing obscene wealth sure is a great look, Charlie. CRACKED.COM — Source

34

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now CHRIS BROWN had a very successful R&B career. HE'S ALSO A NOTORIOUS COLLECTOR OF ABUSE ALLEGATIONS. In the years after the Rihanna fiasco, accusations of violence just keep popping up. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now JEFFREY JONES acted in a bunch of awesome movies НЕ WAS ALSO ARRESTED FOR POSSESSION OF, ERM, CHEESE PIZZA, and had to register as a sex offender. Не has since resumed acting, mainly on the stage and stuff like 2019's Deadwood: The Movie. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now DGIRO GROU ESTRONG.ORG LANCE ARMSTRONG won the Tour de France seven friggin' times, which is amazing. LIVESTRONG EXCEPT WHEN YOU FACTOR IN THAT НЕ RAN A HIGHLY SOPHISTICATED DOPING RING, and took performance-enhancing drugs for most of his career. Не was stripped of his wins and banned from the sport, but hey, what would Dodgeball trivia be without him? CRACKED.COM — Source

31

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now MATT LAUER was the face of NBC's Today for 20 years. НЕ ALSO REPORTEDLY HARASSED A LOT OF WOMEN, abused his power, and had a button to close the door of his office automatically, as normal people do. Не was fired from NBC, and nobody has seen him since. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now RANDY QUAID is an Oscar- nominated actor. НЕ THEN WENT FULL MAGA, and started supporting networks too extreme RIN even for Fox News. And this without even mentioning his star whacker conspiracy theory about movie star assassins he claims killed Heath Ledger. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now JUSSIE SMOLLETT had a somewhat solid career for around 30 years, THEN НЕ MADE UP A HATE CRIME FOR ATTENTION, spent less than a week in jail, and dared to appear in 2022's BET Awards like nothing happened. Truly a champion of black liberation. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now R. KELLY was an R&B superstar with a string of worldwide hits. ABUSE ALLEGATIONS AGAINST HIM, THOUGH, GO BACK TO THE '90s. In 2022 he was sentenced to 30 years in jail for running a literal sex ring -which means crimes we won't even mention. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now KEVIN SPACEY was a respected character actor for over two decades. SINCE 2017, HOWEVER, HIS CAREER HAS PRETTY MUCH DIED after a bunch of abuse and harassment allegations came out- including four charges of sexual assault in the UK just in May 2022. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Fallen Celebrities Then vs. Now For almost two decades, HARVEY WEINSTEIN was a respected figure in the indie movie industry. НЕ WAS ALSO ABUSING ACTRESSES. He'd harass them and threaten them with career death-and he indeed boycotted the careers of amazing actresses such as Mira Sorvino and Ashley Judd. He's currently serving a 23- year sentence for sexual assault and rape. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

CRACKED MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ'S MULTIPLE DUIS. In 2007, she was sentenced to 6 months in jail for failing to complete her community service obligations, stemming from a string of 3 drunk driving offenses in 2004. — Source

24

CRACKED VANILLA ICE THREATENED A HOMELESS MAN. In 1991, he was arrested and charged with battery after threatening a homeless man with a gun. — Source

23

CRACKED SNOOP DOGG'S MURDER TRIAL BOOSTED HIS STREET CRED. In 1993, Snoop was on trial for first degree murder after his associate shot a rival gang member while in Snoop's car. The publicity helped his 1993 debut album Doggystyle debut at #1 on Billboard. — Source

22

CRACKED MARK WAHLBERG WAS CHARGED WITH RACIALLY MOTIVATED ATTEMPTED MURDER. At 16, he knocked out a middle-aged Vietnamese man in the street. Later that day, he attacked another Asian man with a metal hook, leaving him blind in one eye. Не was charged with attempted murder, was sentenced to 2 years in prison, and only served 45 days. — Source

21

CRACKED A DRUNK REESE WITHERSPOON PULLED THE I'M FAMOUS CARD. Her arrest was caught on film in 2013, and she drunkenly yelled to officers, Do you know my name? You better not arrest me. They did arrest her... for disorderly conduct. H — Source

20

You used to be cool ALEC BALDWIN verbally assaults his 11-year-old daughter. Basically the '90s John Hamm, he was a hot movie star who was legitimately funny. At that point, he had hosted SNL 13 times. In 2007, we heard a leaked voicemail of him screaming you're a rude, thoughtless little pig to his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland. CRACKED — Source

19

You used to be cool ZACH BRAFF beat up a kid on Punk'd. Friend and Scrubs costar Donald Braison helped punk the lovable Zach Braff by having kids fake-spray paint his new car. Zach got a hold of a 12-year- old boy and (in his words) just started pummeling him. The segment was cut from the episode. CRACKED — Source

18

You used to be cool SEAN CONNERY promoted hitting women. In 1987, he told Barbara Walters that slapping women isn't that bad, if the situation merits it. On what situation would merit hitting a woman, he said it should only come after a man has tried everything else. Not cool, James Bond. Not cool. CRACKED — Source

17

You used to be cool JAMES CORDEN's lovability is all an act. Known for his cutesy teddy bear-like demeanor, he was once so rude to staff at a New York restaurant that he was banned. Dozens of stories of his rude, terrible behavior (on and off set) began surfacing, forever tarnishing his reputation. CRACKED — Source

16

You used to be cool MEL GIBSON was once a Hollywood darling. It's near-impossible to imagine now, but Gibson was once the go-to movie star for the blockbusters, the rom coms, and the funny, lovable Lethal Weapon movies. Now, he's primarily known for drunken, explosive, anti-Semitic rants and general awfulness. CRACKED — Source

15

You used to be cool CEELO GREEN took a page out of Bill Cosby's playbook. Green had a cool, likable persona, but he pleaded no contest to drugging and raping a woman. Then tweeted, If someone is passed out they're not even WITH you consciously! So WITH implies consent. CRACKED — Source

14

You used to be cool DANNY MASTERSON was charged with raping three women. We knew him as possibly the chillest character of all time, but he now faces 45 years to life in prison. Watching him as Hyde is hard knowing that, at the time, he was filming Seasons 3 to 5 of That '70s Show. CRACKED — Source

13

You used to be cool ELLEN DeGENERES' shattered reputation. After BuzzFeed detailed allegations of racial insensitivity, sexual harassment and bullying, Ellen's 30 years of likability were shattered. A Twitter thread asked people to share stories of Ellen being mean, and it quickly received over 2,600 replies. CRACKED — Source

12

You used to be cool WILL SMITH's Oscar slap. A heart breaker. Не was the Fresh Prince, Hollywood royalty, and a rapper known for not even cursing. Accosting Chris Rock over a joke at the 2022 Oscars got him banned from attending the ceremonies for 10 years, and caused the world to think a lot less of him. CRACKED — Source

11

Chevy Chase got SO mad at Dan Harmon, he left him a long, ranty voicemail. Не went into detail about why Community doesn't work, according to him, and said It's just a mediocre f-king sitcom. I want people to laugh, and this isn't funny. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong had a total meltdown on stage at a festival. When the band's time was about to end, he cried, I've been around since 19-f--ing-88! And you're gonna give me one minute? I'm not f---ing Justin Bieber, you mother---er! CRACKED.COM — Source

9

A frozen peas commercial kind of drove Orson Welles into a total meltdown. Не was reading an ad for Findus, a Swedish frozen food company, and it just became too much for him. By the end, he was saying No money is worth this S**t. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Just before Kanye went on SNL, he had an explosive meltdown backstage. February 13 Не had asked for a shiny floor, but they tore it down because it was too bright, so he ranted Look at that sh-, they took my f-in' stage off of 'SNL' without asking me. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

Rapper Tyler, the Creator trashed a Los Angeles club in December 2011. Apparently, he destroyed some sound equipment at L.A.'s Roxbury Theater and got his fans to start rioting - he ended up having to pay $8,000 in damages. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

CRACKED BILL GATES WAS ARRESTED TWICE. The Microsoft co-founder was arrested once in 1975 for driving without a license and speeding. Не was then arrested in 1977 for again driving without a license, and failing to stop at a stop sign. — Source

5

CRACKED VINCE NEIL OF MÖTLEY CRÜE WAS CHARGED WITH VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER. Vince Neil and Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle drove out to grab more beer for Neil's party while both were heavily intoxicated. Neil struck a car, severely injuring 2 people, and killing Razzle. Не spent less than 20 days in prison. Politica — Source

4

CRACKED ALLISON МАСК RECRUITED GIRLS FOR HER CULT LEADER. The Smallville actor recruited women who would be severely mistreated by NXIVM cult leader Keith Raniere. She faced sex trafficking charges but negotiated a plea deal for the lesser charge of racketeering. She served 2 years in prison, and Raniere got 120 years. — Source

3

CRACKED SEAN PENN ASSAULTED A PHOTOGRAPHER. In 2010, Sean Penn was sentenced to three years of probation and 300 hours of community service for battery against photographer Jordan Dawes. Dawes needed knee surgery after the attack. — Source

2

CRACKED FELICITY HUFFMAN'S SAT FRAUD SCANDAL. She pleaded guilty to mail fraud, and admitted to paying $15,000 to a service that guaranteed to boost her daughter's SAT scores. She spent 14 days in prison, got 250 hours of community service, and paid a $30,000 fine. — Source

1

CRACKED THE RED RANGER KILLED HIS ROOMMATE WITH A SWORD. Ricardo Medina Jr., best known for his role as the Red Ranger in the Power Rangers Wild Force series, pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter of his roommate Joshua Sutter in 2015. ER RANGERS BA POWER MORPHIC DAI 20 N POWER MO POWER ريج MIIA- — Source

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