26 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, February 13, 2024

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26 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Mere months after they announced ads for all Prime Video viewers, Amazon is finding themselves in hot water with consumers. A Washington customer filed a class-action lawsuit against the streamer, attesting that the media giant breached its contract with “false advertising” by charging an additional $2.99 to circumvent ads on top of the annual Prime subscription cost of $139 that already promises ad-free viewing — a subscription benefit that has been the platform’s standard since 2011. 

Meanwhile, another streamer is keeping its $250 million promise of more Adam Sandler. The Sandman and Uncut Gems co-director Josh Safdie are reuniting for a new stand-up special at Netflix. The not-yet-titled special will be Sandler’s second for the streamer after his 2018 Emmy-nominated 100% Fresh. It, of course, will join the bevvy of Sandman Netflix originals, including his upcoming sports memorabilia film with the Safdie Brothers, the sci-fi drama Spaceman and recent releases like Leo and You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

The streamers might be doing everything in their power to keep you from being entertained, but the timeline is picking up the slack with a new batch of hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest ones include those about a FedEx truck that doesn’t know it’s for ground delivery, an office building built by Count Olaf and Natasha Bedingfield’s hot dog.

depths of wikipedia @depths... 12h ... said that the mass-produced gyro was first WIKIPEDIA conceptualized by John and Margaret Garlic; John Garlic was a Jewish car salesman who later ran a restaurant featuring live dolphins.  ENIT 32 221 3,159 134K

RKK @rkktweets- 19h ... Going to start telling people I'm being self-referential when they see me in the same outfit for the third time. o @keaaaaley 1d gaga is like the most self referential person ever. she's like oh superbowl? reminds me of mine 21 7,085 89.1K 2.5M

Ricky Knuckles @TheRickDoo... . 12h ... THE REST is STILL UMWRITTEN 53 4,667 38.5K 1.1M

Daniel Litt @littmath. 21h they installed a Lemony Snicket elevator in the building where my office is CAUTION This elevator does not stop on every floor. It is best to take the other elevator to avoid stairs and arrive at your destination in an uneventful way. 4 122 2,261 66.6K

SB Slimeskii @Chriseansrock 13h ... 448 FedEx just fired me.. I asked what I do, AA why they send this to my phone like bra I tried to slow down. FedEx 1 3,897 34.7K 1.3M

Pop Base @PopBase.9h ... Rod Stewart says Ed Sheeran's music will not stand the test of time: I don't know any of his songs, old ginger bollocks. 629 2,614 14.8K 1.2M

в @isabellayonce- 23h ... when twins arent identical i'm like ok then what was the point of all that Neyo @BigNeyogems-2(2/24 Tell us a funny opinion on something 247 12.4K 102K 4.2M

andrea @bongiobaddie 20h ... andrea @bongiobaddie.20h anybody remember those fat uncircumcised tele tubbys 193 5,582 55.7K 3M

kelci? @kelciiiiiii - 1d ... that's just tom wambsgans FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 1d Matthew Macfadyen in the 'DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE' teaser. #SuperBowl 1 368 4.8K 111K

Cosmonaut sucraM (evil) @CosmonautMarcus 19h ... This is so sexually charged 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm - 21h Godzilla and Kong will have a buddy-cop dysfunctional relationship in 'GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE'. (Source: empireonline.com/movies/news/go...) 95 2K 31K 1.3M

7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000 . 21h Me watching Aquaman 2 on mute through the gaps in the airplane seats 36 1.5K 37K 1.3M

king law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg 1d gas station getting intense this morning inserting your CREDIT CARD into the card reader at the dispenser safeguard against fraud you may be prompted to See Attendant* to plete your transaction may be prompted to enter your five-digit BILLING ZIP CODE if paying h a credit card, only as C safeguard against fraud. hen using a DEBIT CARD your financial institution may place D hold on our account that may exceed the purchase amount Shell is not responsible placing or removing these holds. you are using LOYALTY/REWARDS CARD and anticipate your fuel urchase may

lyosias @iloveiyosias.23h elon musk is geblokkeerd exactly he's so fucking geblokkeerd NigGaara2.0 @OneRandomNigga.2d Loser needs to stay away from my tl Elon Musk X @elonmusk 536 Volgend 172.281.578 Volgers 144 Abonnementen @elonmusk is geblokkeerd Weet je zeker dat je deze posts wil bekijken? @elonmusk wordt niet gedeblokkeerd door posts te bekijken. Bekijk posts 9.7K 116K 112 4.4M

carl marks @lethalrejection 1d when you see one of these signs you know you're about to drink the best oat milk cappuccino of your life OUR STAFF USES TEA LIST A VARIETY OF masala Chai PRONOUNS Breakfast Black Earl Grey PLEASE BE Sencha Tasmine Jereen RESPECTFUL MADE THANK YOU Ü ger-turmeric ermint Herbal omile Blend USHWICK TEA- 1.6M 72K 3.2K 61

Anthony Dabbundo @AnthonyDabbundo.  5h ... Punxsutawney Phil, get ready to learn chinese buddy 73 4.6K 67K 2.7M

The Girl With the Garfield Tattoo @shelbyboring.3h ... Ayo after leaving that dressing room Helen Hunt @HelenHunt Just recorded a devastating apology scene. Expecting a nomination. 3:28 PM 4/13/11 Twitter for BlackBerry® 261 Retweets 1,124 Likes V Variety @Variety 3h Jennifer Lopez on performing with Ayo Edebiri on SNL: She came to my dressing room and apologized with tears in her eyes, saying how terrible it was that she had sai... Show more 1 256 3.4K 108K

Keara Sullivan @superkeara 1d ... Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are the real life version of Frog and Toad 19 1.1K 15K 657K

catland @DBATCats 1d ... i saw a video of jason kelce leaving the after party last night and his security people were approaching him with the kind of caution typically reserved for use if a tiger escaped its pen at the zoo 93 2.4K 82K 3.2M

derek @derpo377 . 1d ... wes (punished) @mannnmiami 1d i'm so sick of that fucking clown 18 4.7K 55K 2.6M

Brad Williams @funnybrad . 1d I need Nickelodeon to do a companion broadcast on election night. Patrick from SpongeBob explaining the electoral college and slime being dumped on the losing candidate during their concession speech 123 6.9K 76K 15M

sabrina ramirez @sabrinaonfilm. 17h ... i'll never get over someone saying the iron claw is little women for men SUPERIOR 47 27 404 6.7K del 273K

penne renee @rynyly 1d when you're meditating and suddenly visions of lesbian sex materialize Dr. Hawk @choppingwoodpod. 2d David Lynch said on the day he was given the green light to turn Mulholland Drive into a feature film he had zero ideas how to complete the story but that same night he meditated & like a string of pearls one idea after another came to him and he knew exactly what to do 70 2.6K 28K 1.3M

ANDREJ @Andr3jH . 9h ... Paris Hilton's megababy will rule the West. Marie Kondo's Start megababy will rule the East. 17 100 1.6K 96K

ITYSL memes @ITYSL_memes. 1d That baby thinks people can't change. cait™s @caitamirrorball - 1d i can't get over how his baby is looking at him CHAMPIONS BOWL LAINT G 8 PHOTOGRAPHY I KELCE 15 C 31 310 8.1K 853K

Boston @BostonMassUSA. 1d ... These colors don't run. BOSTON Paul McLeod @pdmcleod 1d My Massachusetts friend stood with his hand over his heart like it was the national anthem during the Dunkin Donuts commercial. 58 34K 2.2K 2.4M

jackie jormp-jomp @sydneyjanexo 1d ... The thing about Fred Armisen in a wig is... those aren't characters at all to me... These are real women and I feel like I know them... their stories matter 123 6.4K 71K del 2M
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